Observations vs. complaints

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9 Comments

Is it normal that when I state an observation, others perceive it as a complaint? Ex: It's hot outside. I'm not stating that Im significantly bothered by the heat, just stating the obvious, perhaps just to break the silence.

Ex2: I'm walking with a friend and state that my legs hurt. I'm not saying I'm tired of walking. My legs might be, but my spirit is fine with continuing the stroll.

Ex3: This post. I'm not complaining about peoples' responses to such statements. I don't find it particularly troublesome; I just tend to be occasionally surprised when I make a general statement and people take it as a complaint. I'm trying to understand. At what point does an observation become a complaint?

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75% Normal
Based on 12 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • jethro
    8 years ago

    When you voice it. That is when it becomes a complaint and not an observation. I don't understand why people feel that they have to share everything with anybody that they encounter? But since you asked, if you qualify your observations, people will understand it isn't a complaint. Like "I like it that it's hot outside today" or "My legs are tired but I am really enjoying the stroll. Let's keep going". That is the difference.

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    • Blackity_Black
      8 years ago

      An observation can be voiced.

      "The sky is blue" i can tell you that and it is an observation, and almost no one will consider it a complaint either.

      Complainers make observations but they tend to consistenrtly focus only on negative ones so a pattern emerges. And if people start to figure out that you only make negative observations, they are more likely think ALL of your observations are complaints, even the neutral or slightly-positive one.

      The general rule of thumb is to keep most of the negative observations to oneself. Don't mention that your leg hurts because that means Pain, which is a bad thing usually. And if its hot or cold out, people usually associate that with uncomfortable weather. People dont want to hear about other peoples pain and problems and discomfort. They want to hear good things like if you won the lottery. So keep your mouth shut most of the time

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        8 years ago

        You make some good points, but I'm thinking it sometimes has more to do with the state of mind of people who perceive these as complaints because they will jump to this conclusion even when the statement is made by someone who rarely complains.

        I'm also wondering if it's a cultural perception. The Mexicans I work with often state when it's hot and when they do, everyone agrees and keeps on doing their thang. It's just small conversation. Yet when this statement was made to an American at the job, the response was, "well what do you want me to do about it?!". One type of person sympathizes and another reacts as if under attack.

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  • bucho's_butt
    8 years ago

    I would imagine that it's the tone in which you say these things. I have the same problem actually. Although usually I am actually complaining..because I'm kind of an asshole.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    8 years ago

    If they act like a little bitch about my stating something like "it's hot", I'm likely to tell them that my feelings regarding the climate are irrelevant, it's still hot outside. Either they'll have the sense of humor to take it or they'll get right away that they didn't make the right judgement call.

    But I'd have to know their reaction to your complaints. If someone says their legs hurts, usually my reaction is to ask them if they're ok. Whether or not it's a complaint does not matter to me.

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  • Steven2.0
    8 years ago

    Indeed.
    It's because in first world countries, people complain so much about their democratic governments, first-class health care and endless supply of food, that any spoken word is now taken to be a venting of annoyance.

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    • AlmightyGawd
      8 years ago

      You are a fat loser who pretends to be smart on the internet all day.

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  • mypenisinyourmouth
    8 years ago

    I don't know, Sheldon Cooper, I don't know.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      My god, this post reads so easily with his voice. Hah!

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