Now the shoe is on the other foot.

37% Normal
5 Comments

I'm sleeping with a married woman. This is so fucking ironic because the reason I'm divorced is because my ex was cheating on me. But now I realize the mistakes I made in my relationship with my ex. Now that all the emotional bullshit is over and done with (we have two boys, and my ex is very understanding about bending the rules of my visitation. I recently had them three weekends in a row!). The things that my new love talks about her husband are the very same things that I was guilty of when I was married. She tells me that she's leaving him soon. She wants her children to get another year or so older. Well, I'm not sure I can wait that long. This adultry shit doesn't fit me at all. My boys are already asking questions about her. I find myself lying to them when I get thier, How come, questions. They are in thier early teens and are starting to put two and two together. My boys are the world to me. My absolute world. I don't want them to know the truth about this new relationship. So I'm feeling guilty as hell on several fronts. Two years ago, I was the one being cheated on. I never thought about the pressure on the one who was doing the cheating. I want to talk this over with my ex. She's a pretty cool woman, actually. She's seeing someone but we now get along better than ever. Especially when it comes to me seeing my boys. I know that I just unloaded a lot of shit. Does any of it seem normal?

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 19 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • (.)(.)boobies
    9 years ago

    You're not an asshole, you're human just like everyone else. At least you've learned that adultery isn't as black and white as most people profess it is. Relationships are complicated things between complex beings, there's a lot of grey area. Only one thing is certain; cheating IS a betrayal.

    You said you're not comfortable with your current situation with this new woman in your life. There's nothing wrong with postponing this relationship with her until she's officially single again. You can admit to the attraction but be honest about your misgivings about the whole situation as it stands. She might be hurt (you might too) but she cannot legitimately hold it against you.

    Like another person mentioned above, consider how your children would view you if they found out.

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  • TheOneWhoComesFromEnordro
    9 years ago

    No. You shouldn't punish a woman for what your ex did. I just hope your sons don't pick up the idea that it's okay to cheat (even if the person was cheated on prior to his/her cheating) because "Father did it so it's no biggie". Adultery and Cheating are never okay for any reason.

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  • Mermaid86
    9 years ago

    You are paving the way for your boys to do the same to their significant others when they're old enough to date. If they really are the world to you, prove it by being the father they DESERVE. They will suffer just as much as they did when their mother cheated on you. Please stop... You have no idea the damage you are doing. I don't know how you can sleep at night or look at your boys in the eyes and just lie to them. It's sick and twisted.

    I think you already know all this though...

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    You know, every guy or gal who cheats says they're unhappy and going to leave their partner, but just not right now, for one reason or another.
    You were a cuckold and now you are cuckolding another guy; you are an asshole!
    There is no excuse for what you are doing and you should be totally ashamed of yourself. Does it feel really good giving someone else the pain you were dealt? Asshole!

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  • seakelp
    9 years ago

    It's good that you're feeling bad about the whole thing, maybe you'll feel bad enough to stop it. You seem to recognize that what you're doing is bad on several levels. You should use that information to make better choices in the future.

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