Not sure if i want a baby

I'm 30 and do not have, nor do I want children. I also feel the same guilt like I SHOULD want one, but I don't. All of my friends want them or have them so I sometimes feel left out in that aspect of life. Sometimes I wish I wanted one. But I know I don't. How is your husband going to handle it if you tell him you don't want kids? That's a huge issue.

I say you have to do what makes you happy even if it's not the norm. Just think of all the extra time and money you will have!! You can travel and sleep in if you want too. No boring dance recitals or soccer games. You're not alone!!

OP: First heads-up: Ryan is incorrect about you having another 30 years. If you're in your late twenties, 30 years puts you in your late fifties - menopause has generally occured by then - but you time frame is closer to ten years, since the risk of defects/diseases, etc. such as Down's Syndrome, increase with age, and increase significantly by the time you're 40.

That said, if you're unsure, have you considered putting some of your ova on ice? If you get your eggs extracted now and put them away for later, you could use IVF at a later date if you ever change your mind. That way you're not saying an absolute "no" to your hubby, but you're not rushing into it, either. After all, it's not like you can return a baby later if you really don't want to be a mother! (Well, there are options, but they're not ideal.) Likewise, though, if you leave it too late, you won't be able to undo that, either. I had friends who left it too late, and she couldn't conceieve, then he got prostate cancer, so now they have no chance.

So buying yourself time might be an option. Even if you don't want to go through pregnancy and labour, you could find a surrogate, but the child would still be biologically yours and your husband's.

Just a thought. :)

I'm in my early 30s and have decided not to have children.. As long as I can remember I've never wanted kids, and my family and friends are starting to understand that and even respect it. The thing I still hear from my grandmothers is 'one day you will wish you had kids so they can take care of you when you are old' I think that is not nearly a reason to have children! I've made my decision and although my husband originally wanted kids, he has come to understand and respect this decision, and we have agreed together that it's just not for us.
You can make your own decision and learn to feel comfortable in your decision.. Your family and friends will adjust and learn to respect it. Children are not for everyone.. If you have doubts give it alot of thought first, and discuss it openly with your husband.

Really good comments. My honey & I have been together for 41 years. I never wanted the responsibiliy of trying to raise another human being. My mother had emotional problems & probably really scaredme about how I would be as a mother. I never felt that maternal thing. It was fine with my honey, too. He felt it was my decision. Pressure from others about something this important is no reason to have kids. Follow your instincts & your heart& have no regrets.

I know how you feel. I'm 27. I figutred by now I'd either have a kid or two, or that I'd at least be wanting one by now. But you know what? I don't. I'm married, and things are pretty good, but I really don't have any desire to have a baby. The thought of getting all fat, losing my figure, then going through painful child birth, and then giving up all my spare time and giving up my life for a child (or two) simply does not appeal to me right now. And you're right.. how do you act around one? I know this sounds odd, but what do you do with a crying baby? Yes they need to eat, be changed, sleep, etc... but sometimes they cry and cry, and they won't stop. So yeah, I really don't think I'm ready for a baby yet. I guess I'm kinda selfish too. But don't get me wrong, I love kids... I just don't want one of my own yet... if ever! I have a niece who I love very much, and I guess she keeps me busy enough, lol. Anyway I might think about having kids when I'm 30-something, but for now I am going to live my life for me... and try to enjoy it! :)

Have kids for the right reasons, not because that is what is expected. Maybe you could try spending time with kids (family/friends/volunteering) and see what happens. Birthing a child is not the only option. You can always be a foster parent or Big Sister. Goodluck!

Im 17 and i know i want kids oneday but ure still young try babysittin for a friends kid to put uu at ease if uu still dnt want kids explain tht to ure husband if he loves uu he will understand still might be a shock 4 him though gd luck x

If you don't want kids, don't have them. But be sure you have someone to take care of you. I work with elderly people and the saddest situations are those where there are no caretakers . On the other hand, I have seen kids rob their parents blind. It's all a crap shoot, anyway.

Not everyone wants kids. It's normal to feel like you do. I'm the same way. I never really wanted any kids, and now that I'm with someone that is worth being with, I think maybe down the road. But I wouldt be heartbroken if I didn't have any. I'm like you, I feel akward around children and don't know how to act. But that's me.

It is absolutely your choice, young lady, you have your whole life ahead of you, at least 30 more years to make this decision and to get the proper training and understanding that it takes. My town had to build an alternative school for all of the pregnant girls and their rebellious boyfriends, albeit a school which evolved into an amazing place to graduate from, these kids are in NO POSITION TO RAISE A CHILD. It's maddening.

There ought to be a test people have to take to raise their children. There are so many negative things to throw at the children situation, but there are an equal amount of positives.

Do what your heart tells you, because the soul knows when you're lying to yourself, and almost everyone has a conscience.

Thanks for everyone's advice! Your words have been eye openers for me

Don't have children if you just simply don't want one. But if you're unsure because of if you'll be able to relate & be "good" with kids, dont cut yourself short. Motherhood is a natural thing, you will learn & it'll be very different if the children are your own. It will come to you, you might need some guidance, but its amazing what you feel & learn automatically.