Not allowed to have sex (im 22!)

to be honest, keep the peace until you are ready to move out.

Keeping this quiet is much less of a problem than what your parents will enivitably have if you tell them ie. barring you from seeing him, reluctance to let you leave the house, hostility, questioning, some other religious bollox purging.

It is simple:

Whatever you believe there is no denying the facts
A) Christian faith is based on the Bible? Yes
B) The Bible was written over 2000 years ago...yes
C)2000 years ago girls were married at 13...yes
D) So having sex with a twelve year old is wrong ...hopefully you agree

therefore the previous laws of the lord need to be updated...

...do you honestly believe God would send a good, generous, kind and loving person to the same place as a homicidal rapist just because they had sex?

I dont think so...feel free to reason with him on judgement day. There will be a long line at the custemer service gate :P

That said Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with a person in this world and that has to be valued

Ewww, that would be really irritating. I agree, I think it's a horrible idea to wait to have sex until you're married. I want to know if I connect with someone physically, sexually, and we if have the right chemistry before I vow to spend the rest of my life with him.

You should move out. What would your parents do if you told them? Would they kick you out, or just be really disappointed and/or flip out on you? Maybe they are just trying to protect you and if you were honest, they could come to understand that in our more modern society, it's acceptable for people to intelligently experiment before settling down. Is your boyfriend in the position to move in with you? Just keep searching for that full-time job so that you can get out of there asap and live like the adult that you are.

Also, don't feel guilty. Sex before marriage is completely natural. Humans, like animals, aren't really programmed to be monogamous. It's a nice thought and all but it's just not realistic. I mean, I'm monogamous now, but I can't imagine never having had sex with anyone else before my boyfriend.

Wow, so weird to be receiving feedback on this, I'm 27 now to this was 5 years ago :P I'm not with the same boyfriend as when I wrote this, we were together for 4/5 years though, I'm with someone new now and we just moved in together the weekend just gone so it's really funny thinking about all of this again! My parents weren't that happy when I told them I was moving in with a boyfriend but they understand that while I respect their views and want them to be happy, I have to make my own choices based on what I want/think/feel. I think they understand but it will always be hard when you don't see eye to eye ... Thanks for all the advice !! :)

Why dont you just live with your boyfreind or maybe find a job? Try a cop job they only need highschool.

I would ask them for more freedom and ask them to ease off a little. Tell them if they know they raised u right then let u prove it to them.

Hello everyone, thanks for the feedback! Danny I am now 25 and still living at home actually, a lot of people are staying at home longer now due to the costs of living etc? (I'm in Perth, Australia).

Of course I have a job! I work at Parliament and I've been working full-time for a couple years now since graduating from university, but I'm saving to buy my own place, hopefully next year. I know if I'd moved out years ago and been renting I'd be nowhere near ready to buy (financially).

I am still with the same boyfriend I was with when I wrote this post a few years ago. Is it normal that we're not living together after 3-4 years together? My mother told me it would break her heart if I moved in with him before getting married..

No-one wants to break their mothers heart! Although my 19 year old brother is living with his girlfriend but they're another story..

Anyway, on the subject of sex, I ended up telling my parents a little bit into my relationship that I would be staying at his house every so often. They weren't happy but what can you do. It's not a big deal at all and it's frustrating that they make it into one! He's certainly not allowed to sleep over here. My mother's also pressuring me to get engaged but I'm no-where near ready for that. All that aside, my parents are the nicest people.

I'm sure all will be fine when I eventually move out ;) My boyfriend and I can have as many sleepovers as we want and there won't be anyone around to judge :)

Why are you still living with family at 22? Have you tried looking for a job. I recommend trying to become a cop if you never thought of it. You can drink at 21 in america and 18 in most other places. So you are old enough to try out.

are you wearind one of those chistaty belts? if you are oh no if you ain't go have sex

Good to hear you're trying to move on from being bullied into "waiting"!

I honestly think it'd be easier just to pretend to wait and keep schtum while under their roof, then move out.

When you're away from them, you can actually be true to yourself.

I think you should do what you want and still praise god in your own way. you only feel guilty because thats how the church has taught you to think. be your own person, you know the difference by right and wrong.

The bible says "Go forth, be fruitful, and multiply," not "Go forth, get married, be fruitful, and multiply."

I do not believe that a god that could create life would give them something natural that felt so good, and tell them "No, you can't have it until you are married." That would be like me putting you're favorite food in front of you and telling you that you can't have it until you learn to juggle - complete nonsense. Remember that the bible was written by man, and man is fallible. This concept works for weed as well.

I can see why you are frustrated, but like some one above me said, just keep the peace with your parents until you get your own place and can live by your own rules. and if you do feel guilty about what you are doing, then confess it either in a pray or to a priest, God is understanding and very forgiving. He forgives people for sins much worse than your own. Pray!

Same you but raised in a moslem family I've never had a sex, and had an actual experience girlfriend ... I still afraid, I'm going to die alone I 'll be 31 years old soon , didn't got married yet ..sob sob..

joy is not mindless. it is not some silliness giggles arising from adolescent uneasiness or from desperate search for distraction and pleasure joy comes from ability to enter into life in depth and laughter to which it gives birth is not shallow or cold. the man is playing with your emotions and is just lustful he doesn't want to settle down and love you he wants a one night stand and to live sex is basically your relationship with this guy your parents just want what is best for you

You are an adult, you can follow your own path and do as you like. If they don't like it, too bad. :)

i think you should fallow your heart. I also know that you being Christian means you have already been forgiven for any and all sins you have committed and will still commit. I agree that its actually better to know a person even the down and dirty sexual stuff before marriage. It lets you know and him to if you are compatible in the sexual area. wouldn't you hate to marry some one you are not sexually compatable with

Sweety,just tell them.obviously youre in love with the guy and youre 22 old enought to do whatever the hell you want.just tell them n make them understand

I kind of have/had the same problem. My parents are extremely religious, and I used to be too. If I would have been in a relationship when I was living at home they would have reacted the same way, and I would have agreed with them. When I stopped believing cold turkey I realized I could never tell them because it would kill them. But now that I have moved out I don't have to worry about these things because I'm on my own. So I guess what I'm trying to say is while it may not be financially convenient I would seriously try to find a way to move out because you are your own person. And while I am atheist and personally think there is nothing wrong with having sex in a non-marriage relationship, if you are christian the bible does clearly state that sex outside of marriage is a sin. So I'd think about you might need to think about your beliefs, and in a sense decide what is most important.