Normal to feel irritated by people distracted on mobile phones; tldr bottom

I get a very particular feeling from of people who are focusing on their mobile phones, and I'm wondering if others get the same.

Everyone has a bit of a "presence". For example, if you are together with someone in a pitch black room, you'd still feel and know that the other person is there. When I'm with someone, and they take out their mobile phone, for me it's like their presence disappears. Where I previously felt their presence, I now feel a void. It's like they are no longer "really" there, their whole presence is consumed by the mobile phone.

This void feeling, in turn, is then irritating to me, sometime very irritating. The reason for this irritating feeling is more intuitive than logical, and hard to put into words. It's like they - i.e. the people on phones - are not really living, in that moment. They are wasting their time with something that is not real. They are in some world that does not really exist objectively. And I find it rude that they just "go" like that. Even if I'm not necessarily in a conversation with that person. I feel like that with people in public transport too, even though there it does not bother me that much, but I still subtly feel disapproval.

If someone is using their mobile phone in a productive setting, like work, or for practical reasons, or alone, I don't feel like that. It's only if it's for "entertainment" (including social media).

TL;DR: I feel irritated by when people zone into their phones around me, even if I'm not in a conversation with them. It's not because I feel they are being rude to me, but there is something irritating about the act itself.

Do others experience the same?

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 20 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • McBean

    Go pet your cat.

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    • RoseIsabella

      I don't have to go anywhere he's right here with me.

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  • It's a little obnoxious, yeah. But only with family or friends. I couldn't care less about seeing strangers on their phones. But when you're talking with friends and they get a text or a call, the very few times they actually stop mid-conversation and take out their phone I feel like saying, "uh, yeah...hi? Remember? Um...me. You were...talking...you know, to me..." But if it's an important call then that's okay.

    "Hate" is a bit excessive, though.

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    • deepthink

      Updated title to "irritated", thanks

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      • Yes, that's better. It's definitely irritating.

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  • leggs91200

    I kind of pity those who's entire personal life is their cell phone.

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  • raisinbran

    I find people who judge me for using my phone to be irritating (they're usually ignorant old farts). I take daily walks for exercise and to get some work done on my phone. Sometimes I'll use a notepad to write, but thumb-typing is easier.

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  • I voted normal because I see what you mean. I don't share your feelings though.

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  • Tealights

    I wish I was obsess with my phone, but sadly I mostly use it to listen to music or YouTube while I read or look out the window. It's a problem because I'm anti-social to a degree, so feeling someone looking at me and me catching their eye freaks me out. It's comforting to see eyes buried in phones.

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  • chuy

    Yes it's very irritating

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  • RoseIsabella

    I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but it sounds like you have a fear of abandonment, and or that you are wrestling with feelings of loneliness.

    I'm also curious about whether, or not you ever struggle with feelings of dissociation, depersonalization, and or derealization?

    It is pretty rude when people bury themselves in their phones when they're at a social event, or just out to dinner. I don't think it's excessively rude in a situation like when one's waiting in a waiting room, but it's not good manners either.

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    • deepthink

      > but it sounds like you have a fear of abandonment, and or that you are wrestling with feelings of loneliness.

      Hm I don't think so. I don't feel it's related to me when people use their phones.

      > I'm also curious about whether, or not you ever struggle with feelings of dissociation, depersonalization, and or derealization?

      Nope. But I know that sensation from smoking certain things as a late teenager - long time ago. How come you ask?

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      • RoseIsabella

        I dunno, I'm just curious. I guess I'm also wondering why one would be so upset about people being on their cell phones in general. How are those people hurting or offending you?

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        • deepthink

          What's the relationship between my post and derealization?

          > why one would be so upset
          I tried to explain that in my post. In a nutshell, I get a particular, yucky feeling from it.

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          • RoseIsabella

            Is this whenever you see someone messing around on their phone, or just when it's someone you know doing it instead of talking to you, or someone else?

            Is the yucky feeling like you're being neglected somehow?

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            • deepthink

              > Is this whenever...

              All answered in the post, see last third

              > Is the yucky feeling like you're being neglected somehow?

              You already asked, No.

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  • CountessDouche

    I don't like it, but hate is too strong a word.

    Anywho, as an adult, you get to decide who you want to hang with. If somebody constantly phones it up while we're hanging out, than snippity snip, they get cut from the team. My fiance never ever gets on his phone when we are having a conversation, nor do my friends. If my family members do it, they get asked not to & usually are cool about it. Can't remember the last time I've seen somebody at my restaurant table bust out the old telemephone. I've had coworkers & acquaintances do it, but idc about those cunts, really.

    Idk no reason to hate stuff you can control & hating stuff you can't control just ruins your own fun & not anyone else's

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    • McBean

      *remember to read this with the same voice inflection as Steven Hawking's speech synthesizer* Cell phones are an excellent shield from the toxic negative energy that the OP, and many others project. My heart goes out to nobody. Cyberspace is its own reward.

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      • CountessDouche

        Meh. I like real life most of the time.

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