Normal to date someone but not sure if they're right for you?
Is it normal to date someone you love but not be sure they're right for you? What do you think
Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 17 votes
(15 yes)
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Comments ( 32
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d0esnormalmatter
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hungDaddy
Yeah ofc that's normal. But just as a heads-up, if the other person seems super interested and wanting to further things but you don't, call it off. Don't lead a person on.
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BleedingPain
After 20 + years of marriage, my grandfather actively had an affair, and divorced my grandmother to be with said other girl. When the other girl passed away, my grandfather came crawling back to my grandmother saying, he didnt want to die alone. Not Im sorry for cheating on you. Anyway, She took him back and they got remarried for another 15 years until my grandfather died last year.
If that isn’t desperation for companionship, I don't know what is!
Take your time, and don't try to force a square peg in a round hole.
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RoseIsabella
This a message for our most patient, and gracious OP. I think that what you are going through is very normal. I think it takes time to know whether, or not someone is right for you even there are feelings of love between the both of you. I hope my response is helpful. Don't be afraid to take your time.
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ellnell
Yeah because that's dating. You can never know for sure someone is right for you until you've been together for a while basically once the honeymoon phase is over after about a year. That's the shitty thing about dating. Personally I never any longer continue seeing someone who obviously isn't right for me such as them being sure they don't want the things I want in the future or just says "maybe" about it but you can tell from their attitude that it means "no". I basically just go on how well I connect with someone. I am introverted and there are few people I can open up to, most people I just sit mostly in silence with and wonder what i'm even doing there when I could be home doing literally anything else by myself, or listen to them talk a bunch of uninteresting stuff while nodding and pretend-laughing at "funny" stories to be polite. So when I actually find a man I can have an easy-flowing conversation with about pretty much anything and actually find myself being comfortable with it and having a great time and our conversations feels stimulating... That's when I know i've met someone who is right for me. Personally it's only happened to me once and that is with the man i'm currently seeing. I loved my exes but I didn't feel this with them. Our conversations were pretty dull and our "love" i'm not sure was actually love.
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d0esnormalmatter
Headed on a date in an hour lol and I don't know if shes right for me. I'll let you know if I die.
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Zyrusx
The ideal person doesn't exist. What you imagine is "right for you" is often an impossible ideal which you cannot fulfil in the real world.
From my experience a lot of trial and error is involved.
It takes time to get to know someone, their personality, their actions and reactions, and their responses.
A cool, shy, rather distant intellectual like myself was never going to be an easy choice for any woman, and that involved me making a lot of dates and a lot of effort to find someone who could appreciate what I could offer.
Eventually the person who appreciates what you can offer will appear, but it is not guaranteed to be an overnight success. It takes work (now been married for 18 years incidentally).Comment Hidden ( show ) -
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CDmale4fem
As humans we crave companionship. We desire to be desired. We love to be loved. However you want to say it, we don't, for the most part, want to be alone. Sometimes the cost of that will or can be being with someone even if we don't know how right if at all they may be for our needs or wants. For someone to be "right" for me, I'm to the point as long as they are non-smoker and have a pulse then I would be ok - almost. There is the small part that many women have issues of sorts with the idea of me being a cross dresser. It seems some women are not as accepting as I would hope them to be. So if you have an "anybody" make sure to really think it over if it's right or not.
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Mammal-lover
Yea dude but what can you expect. Most women want manly men not a guy who wears panties n whatnot. I could never date a crossdreser. It's a instant turn off for me. I dont envy you guys at all
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CDmale4fem
So you must be part of the moral majority, missionary position only, you don't kiss your girl/wife after she sucks your duck because OMG, YOU WON'T DARE let your woman get within 2 feet of you after she swallows because you are a "macho man" that does not dare even let your woman kiss you with your jizz in her mouth because that would interfere with your standing in the macho man of county. I don't apologize for who I am, I don't and wouldn't judge others. It's such a shame that so many people their only real gratification in life is feeling better about themself after they try and I do mean try to make others feel bad about the life they are living. Say what you want, I am ok with who I am, and who I have been and will be. It's said many guys that suffer from "small man syndrome" from the micro wenis, they exhibit frequent outbursts from insecurities. My condolences. A card is in the mail. (From somebody to somewhere).
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RoseIsabella
I think your response to her comment is one of an overly emotional overreaction to what she is actually saying. No doubt you have certainly experienced your share of heartaches, and disappointments in your life, and I'm sure plenty of that may have been related to your enjoyment of crossdressing. However, nether you, nor I, or anyone on this site has any way of knowing whether, or not Mammal-lover is part of the so called moral majority, or not.
I think that you are projecting all of your bad feelings about the rejection, and or disappointment you've faced in your life as a crossdresser onto this woman who is simply being honest with you about her preferences, with regard to men, and attraction. Maybe you were experiencing some emotional flashbacks when you wrote all of this, but I don't think this woman is deserving of your wrath.
I don't think her initial response to you was personal, or coming from a bad place. I think you percieved her intial comment as very personal, because of your past life experiences. Your emotional response to her opinion made it personal for you.
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Mammal-lover
And now ths reply now that I'm more calm. You jumping down someobes throat and being a b word because they dont find guys in womens clothes attractive is just straight up ridiculous. What is wrong with you? You went straight to hostile for no reason. I like men. Masculinity. When doing laundry I dont want my boyfriend to have panties in the wash. That's not my thing. I dont care if you have a mini penis and use strap ons as you have said in the past. I dont care. I want a man. I want a real meat based penis to play with. It doesn't matter that I'm trans. I'm allowed to date whoever the fuck I please. I would much rather date a fellow ts/tg over a tv/cd but in the end I want to date a man. With a beard wearing male clothing a man who doesnt want something in his ass. To feel safe and protected and controlled to a degree. Not a guy who wears women clothes. Just as I'll never date a crossdreser I'll never date a cisgender. Not my type. Just as a guy who isnt into transwomen will never date me. Nor will gay men. Its called having a type. Try not being such a judgmental piece of shit in the future k?
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RoseIsabella
I think you have a right to your preferences, but when you start to talk about micro-penises, and strap ons thing are gonna get real personal real fast.
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CDmale4fem
"Blah, blah, blah" We are in this world as we are meant to be. You wouldn't know I am a cross dresser unless I told you. As for "Manly" men, I do not hesitate when things need fixed,I swap engines in vehicles, I will fight my way out of situation if I have to. I do all those "things" that you feel makes a manly man. So really it comes down to the point where people cannot seem to accept those of us that don't fit into their idea of what society "should be" and what it should not be. So yea, narrow minded judgmental and can't accept change. You want things to stay as they have been for decades, man andwoman , missionary, and separate beds probably too. I feel sorry for you that your world is only in your little bubble and no room to get out and find new adventure.
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Mammal-lover
Wow you didnt read any of my message. Sad say I'll be blocking you shortly. Negative respect points mate.
See I never followed the path society seems correct. I was and always was a woman. I took meds and was seen as a woman long before I started wearing women clothes. I was never a guy in drag.
And I need to think? Oh bitch please after all these years you decide to blow up on of your biggest supporters on here for no fucking reason because I said most women myself included wont date a guy who crossdresses. It is fact btw feel free to look it up. Anyways but bye bitch. Btw since you still cant seem to remember who I am it's me curious-bunny as I have mentioned for awhile now but seem to never got that memo.
For your sake I hope you grow the fuck up. Btw many people have diffreny opinions on what they consider manly. Everything I dknt consider manly j consider following life. I find men are manly when they are good with horses, smell like a man, strength like a man, whose cupboards are full male clothes not dildos and womens clothes, a man who holds his girl close and fucks her shit up in bed, you know me cd I'm not into that missionary bullshit. A manly man isnr afraid to cook dinner or do something romantic, and most fucking importantly I my opinion he doeznt wear fuvking panties, he doesnt desire stuff in his God damn asshole or peehole, and he doesnt own any fucking womens clothes. For me that's a goddamn requirement because I personally dont feel a man who's a little bitch like you can properly dominate me in the bedroom. And knowing hes like faggit will tune that mental space and I'm not fucking interest.
Peace you little bitch.
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RoseIsabella
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Mammal-lover
Seriously rose? You are supporting them on this? I know we dont usually see eye to eye but on this we should. Me simply stating a preference for men. Not guys who wear womens clothes known as crossdresers a preference and cd gets all hateful and you cheer them on? Seriously rose just lost some respect for you.
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Mammal-lover
Wow you dont know me at all here I thought you remembered me, damn cd dissapointed.
Besides the fact that I'm a woman myself and my favorite position is doggy style but whatever if you wana be like that. You should be ashamed of your self. Hating on someone because they have a preference for manly men who can control them not a strap on using little bitch like yourself. And micro penis? Bitch please I know fod a fact that you are the one here with a baby dick from your own mouth.
Not in ths mood for shit especislly from a crossdreser of all disgusting creatures.
Iin's least popular tranny out.
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RoseIsabella
I think your best part of this comment is that first one sentence paragraph. I think the rest of it is where you get personal with CDmale4fem, because he got personal with you in his above comment.
I don't know either you at all, but I like to think, that this rather heated argument is a result of a misunderstanding that got out of hand.
Regardless I think we're all entitled to our preferences.
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CDmale4fem
So you are a tranny, and at some point in your life you were without breasts and with dick, you wore women's clothing and you felt good about whatever. And you are calling me disgusting. Well, few is this gonna be where the rubber hits the road as they say ? You are "the pot calling the kettle black". So you being a tranny, you still have a dick, pretty much still a male with enough estrogen to grow you some boobies. So you are a male with boonies wearing women's (Well your) clothes. Sounds to me that you are saying you are disgusting. Maybe next time think before you say to much.
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RoseIsabella
Wow! This is very interesting, very interesting indeed. I don't know if Mammal-lover is a transgendered woman so this is kind of a whole new perspective, new information to me.
The only reason I'm reading every comment so closely, and commenting in almost play by play fashion on all of it is, because I told her I would take another look at all of this.
I can honestly say that if she is in fact a transgendered woman I would have to stand by my "BRAVO", comment, because I think it would be rather hypocritical for a transgendered woman to harshly judge a crossdressing man.
I do, however think that some empathy on both sides is in order here.
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RoseIsabella
I see what you're saying, I don't have any readily available statistics about women, and they feel about crossdressing with regard to men, and attraction.
I don't think your response is really a mean, judgemental, or condemning one, I just think you're being honest about how you feel, and what sort of men to whom you are attracted.
I actually think your, "I don't envy you guys at all", statement is quite empathetic, because it points to an understanding that it's not easy for men who like to crossdress.
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RoseIsabella
I see what you're saying here, we're all different people, I don't think there's so called mold, and even if there were there are still plenty of people who deviate from the so called mold.
Just as you have the right to be a crossdresser women also have the right to their preferences regardless of whether that preference is open enough to tolerate, even prefer men who are into crossdressing, or they have preference for more typically macho, or at least more naturally masculine men. It's a preference, and people are entitled to their preferences.
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