Normal for me to get massively annoyed when someone says

55% Normal
5 Comments

"An ex is an ex for a reason"?

I'm married to an ex and we couldn't be happier. We broke up over stupid reasons , really stupid reasons. He was immature at the time, I'll be honest there. I was ready, he wasn't we reconnected a few years later, realized how strongly we still felt and we are married! Happily married with a bun in the oven but every time I hear people say an ex is an ex.. I want to scream because many times people break up over something ridiculous or because they're simply not ready!

Normal?

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 11 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    I've never gone back with an ex but that's me.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    I've always heard the "ex is an ex.." saying in the context of people trying to put off someone else who's looking back at a failed relationship with the rose-tinted specs that the passage of time often gives us.

    I guess it comes down to the question of whether you believe people can fundamentally change. If a couple break up because they're both too immature to deal with the inevitable tensions of the relationship, and that split and other life events causes them both to grow and develop greater maturity, then maybe you could argue that it's not really the same two people who get back together again.

    I have to say, though, that you come across in your question as being very defensive. I wonder if you being "massively annoyed" when you hear this cliché might mean that, deep down, you're feeling some insecurity and uncertainty.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Lol no, not at all insecure. Just really annoyed when people say that as many people break up when they shouldn't have.

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      • Boojum
        5 years ago

        I think that's true. Back in the not-so-good old days, if you were married and miserable together, you either figured out how to make it work or you stayed miserable. Working out how to live with someone else usually isn't easy, and it does require a degree of emotional maturity.

        Sometimes it is best for both people to split up, but sometimes it's just taking the easy way out, and the people often go on to new relationships where the same problems arise.

        Been there, done that, but figured it out in the end.

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        • Alichael
          5 years ago

          It's true, back in the "good ol days", people had a lot less tolerance than they do today towards anyone who was trying to get out of a miserable tough situation (unhappy marriage, job, etc.). Most people would refuse to sympathize and help get you out of it, and they would lose all respect for you if you did manage to get out of it, whether getting out of it provided you great relief and feeling better or not. More people carried the attitude "deal with it, tough it out, work through it and stay with it!". Back during WW2, a man would get drafted to war, and do you think anyone wanted to hear him say "I can't handle it, the army and war is not for me, this scares me and I can't do this"? No, not only did they expect you to take it, stand strong, and deal with it, but you went to jail if you dodged the draft.

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