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My wife and I have been married two years. After the wedding she completely lost interest in sex. We have sex about 7 times a year. She spends lots of money and has a massage from a lesbian at a health club every week. She has said if I ever divorce her, she will make sure that we are both penniless afterwards.
I do not want to have an affair. Is this normal? What should I do?
I think you need to have an opinion from the women of IIN. All you are getting here is masculine hostility. Your newborn baby is a significant consideration. Maybe the women could help you.
Unless she is a great deal smarter than you, there is no way she can leave you penniless after a divorce.
I really wouldn't advise all this over the sex thing, but the threat about divorce is totally unacceptable.
First off, open several bank accounts and keep the majority of the money away from her. Then put her on a strict personal budget from an account that you control the money flow to. Another account for household expenditures, and make sure she brings home the receipts for every penny she spends.
Hire a good divorce attorney and he'll show you how to hide your assets before you file for divorce. He'll help you find cause and see she gets as little as possible.
Honestly, it isn't that bad to have to start over as mentioned above; I know. But, no matter what, I'd call that bitch's bluff just as soon as you and your attorney can arrange it.
She's not bluffing. She is already doing the things that you are suggesting, I think. But, she wants to continue the marriage. It is the most profitable thing for her to do.
Also note that she will not spend on credit. We already have agreed to not have credit cards.
She works hard and is pleasant. Her only rule is DON'T TOUCH. I sometimes wonder if she had a molestation experience during childhood.
Wow you messed up big time when choosing your wife. The woman sounds like a witch. I say get out now as fast as you can. Im guessing youre still young so even if she leaves you penniless you will have time to start anew.
She cooks, cleans, and is very polite and courteous to me, provided that I don't touch her.
The other problem is that now we have a newborn baby, and she is a terrible Mother. I am the only one that can comfort the baby. I fear for our baby if I ever were to leave.
This is not agood healthy relationship. You should not have to fear for your baby. You have physical needs that must be met. You need to sit this woman down, and tell her that things need to change or you will be divorcing her. Time to lay down the law
Full disclaimer: i have never been married
I'd like a lot more information: for example, did you have sex before marriage and if so, were there problems then?
If you didn't, how did the first sexual encounters go?
Yes. We had sex every week for one year before we were married. The only thing unusual about it was she didn't want to kiss, and she was in an extreme hurry to get it over with. But, she made it as fun as possible to make it as short as possible. She was good at making it fun.
Those days are gone. I hope you will respond. I think you have some sense of what is happening here.
Find yourself a bisexual woman & when u have had sex a few times, introduce her to your wife on some pretext [e.g. u could make out that she's a colleague/workmate]. You have already asked her to seduce your wife. This then becomes a threesome; & you have saved your marriage & avoided divorcing the woman u love.
You should do little things like bring her Flowers, and the like Are try this http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2014/09/my-wife-hates-sex/
When I read the title I thought you were going to say you were a guest at a wedding and disappointed you didn't get a chance to have sex with the bride... or a bridesmaid... or someone.
It's pretty easy to squirrel money away and if she doesn't know about it, it will be hard for her to get any of it. But I do agree that you need out, just plan carefully.
How long since she gave birth? May she has postpartum depression, or postpartum psychosis? Then again she might just be a bitch. Hell, she could at least give you some head! Did she have any complications with the pregnancy, and or birth that might have caused her resent you, and the baby?
He says the baby is "newborn" and she's been sexually unresponsive since their marriage 2 years ago, so I think you're on the wrong track about post partum depression, etc.
Sometimes, I think she has always resented all men. Hoping you will continue to help me. A woman's viewpoint has the most insight here.
Thank you, I appreciate your consideration. To be honest I can't imagine what you're going through with that kinda rejection. Just keep on being the good person you are for yourself, and the baby. How long has it been since she gave birth? How old is the baby?
It's probably too late for this, but honestly I think one of the best things for mothers and babies is for the mom to breastfeed from the start. It's good for the bonding & I think it's good for the hormones, weight loss, breastfeeding tissue. I honestly don't know much about about this except for what I've read & learned from other older women. I don't have any children.
I wouldn't rule out postpartum. But, when she holds the baby she feels like he is touching her and she hates it. She puts the baby in my arms and says, "here, he is your kid." (The baby recognizes my touch and calms down right away.)
She is really not very bitchy as long as I don't touch her. She is generally a pleasant and courteous person.
Yeah, the touch thing sounds weird which is why I wondered if she had a rough pregnancy or if the birth was difficult.
Have you tried to talk to her about all of this? Have you tried asking her why she doesn't wanna be touched? I personally think if it's within the first year she ought to see a doctor for postpartum depression or something hormonal. Hell, she ought to see a doctor regardless. If she's not willing to see a doctor about treatment and or a therapist then I think you might want to see a therapist for your own peace of mind. You have the right and responsibility to take care of yourself for yourself and the baby.
I like to think that had I had a child I would have breastfed, and that I wouldn't have had a terrible time with postpartum depression, but the truth is that I've had depression nearly all my life so God only knows what it would have been like.
you are no lover or husband to her. u are just an ATM. get proofs and prepare for divorce.