Need friendship advice

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8 Comments

First off, to be clear all parties in the situation are straight guys, and I have changed the names to protect identities. In high school, there was a guy in the grade behind me, Greg. We had some interests in common, and had a class together my senior year. Over the past about five months we recently reconnected. I fell we have gotten close in this short time, I would fell comfortable calling him a good friend maybe even my best friend. Greg has a place with a friend that is close enough, that they might as well be brothers, Jack.
The core to my problem is a deeply rooted paranoia. I have been betrayed by people that I believed were my friends, and other people who I have felt this close to wound up moving away. I trust Greg completely, I do not know if I have more invested in the friendship then Greg, or if I am just oblivious to the signs that he considers me a good friend? I can't just be upfront and ask him. Another big hindrance is that our work schedules differ greatly and my managers will not work with me to have earlier shifts. What should I do?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 17 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    WWGGGD?
    http://www.iywib.com/good_guy_greg_69.jpg

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    • TrustMeImLying
      9 years ago

      Hahaha!

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  • howaminotmyself
    9 years ago

    It is normal to remain guarded around new friends. Don't worry about it. I do think you are reading way too much into the situation and you should let the friendship evolve organically.

    It sounds like you are looking for someone to confide in and someone to share a special bond with. Perhaps you are too eager. Get a dog, or a nice journal. trying to get too close to someone to quick may weird them out or come across as needy. I have a needy friend like this. Always trying desperately to be someones best friend that she ends up alienating people.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    What should you do about what? Do you really need to define your friendship with this guy? What does it matter how many other friends he has? If you aren't in a committed relationship, why do you need exclusivity? Or have I misunderstood your post completely?

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    • bowtiesrcool86
      9 years ago

      my issue is not that he has other friends, far from it. What I am saying is that I do not know if I am more invested in the friendship them then the other guy or not. But it could just be paranoia.

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        What difference could it possibly make? Friendship isn't about keeping score or balancing emotions, at least not to me. It's about enjoying the company of another person whenever you are with them.

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        • bowtiesrcool86
          9 years ago

          Maybe I am just being paranoid. This sort of thing is usually unsaid, but shown though actions. I don't know what kind of actions to look for though.

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          • green_boogers
            9 years ago

            The core of your problem is not paranoia, it's expectations.

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