Need advice, issues with my boyfriend

42% Normal
12 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now and from the very begninning he stayed at my house every night. I asked if that was too much if we should not see eachother so often but he said he wanted to be there.
My house is for sale and about a month ago I tried to have a conversation with him about where I would be going, probably my parents house but mentioned maybe if he wanted to get something together and he kinda freaked. I told it was fine i'm just trying to figure out what i'm doing but him being at my house everynight gave me the impression that's what he wanted.
Well last Wednesday I wasn't in the best of moods for whatever reason and when he stopped over in the morning before he went to work I guess I kinda ignored him, I didn't mean to. He said I love you when he was leaving, gave me a kiss and I said ugh...joking around, and the I love you too....well that whole day he didn't answer any texts or calls and when I got home from work his other truck was gone and he took his clothes. I was totally freaking out, I had no idea what was going on, I felt like I got hit by a bus.
I tried to call him again, no answer. He finally called me around 6:30 that night said he was dropping the load and would be back in an hour or so and would call me when he was close so we could get something to eat and talk. I asked him what was wrong and he said that morning kind of set him off but a bunch of little things before that, like mentioning the house and stuff. I asked if we were ok he said ya I guess. He never called and I was a wreck all night.
The next day I didn’t go to work, I was up all night crying and on the phone with my best friend every few hours. He text me in the morning telling me he was at work and that we would talk later. He came over that night and we talked for awhile at first he was done but then he changed his mind idk why, he took the key back and said he was going to dinner and asked if I wanted him to come back after I said yes and he promised he would, but he never did.
So Friday morning I was a wreck again, I called him and he finally called me back and was saying stuff like I don’t know if we are right for each other, you deserve better…So I went another day without eating and crying all day, I hate being like this and never was and I don’t get why. He finally called me around 5ish that night and he met me at my house and we talked again. We didn’t sit down just stood at the door and he was holding the key and just wouldn’t look at me. I tried talking to him and it went on for awhile, just silence. Then he just put the key in his pocket took off his jacket and just sat next to me on the couch and we talked.

continued below....too much to type sorry.

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 24 votes (10 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • chaosdragoon1
    13 years ago

    Well this is what happens. A woman finally gets a decent guy who cares and ruins it.

    You most likely hurt his feelings to a point in which he isn't sure of his future with you. Wanting space for no apparent reason is grounds for speculating a near future break up. He isn't a yo-yo that you can reel in and out when you want to. Now that he is doing the same thing to you, you've become aware of the distress it causes. I can sum this up in one word.

    KARMA.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • help16
      13 years ago

      a yo-yo? I don't get how used him as a yo-yo.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Najz
    13 years ago

    Too much , too soon. Hard, fast, crazy passion and now that you want define the relationship after 4 months. The guy thinks ur clingy, u think that u both progressed alot n d relatively short 4 months . It's his loss!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    Just move on. You shouldn't be moving in with him so soon and he is too stupid to express the fact that he doesn't want to move in so soon either. You guys need to split ways and move on because it's not going to work.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • help16
      13 years ago

      I didn't move in with anybody, from day one he was staying at my house every night, I told him to go stay at his parents or maybe we should not spend so much time together and he didn't want to hear it he said he wanted to be with me. It's not like his parents live that far away from my house, maybe 5 min. but he wanted to stay over.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Treez
    12 years ago

    Whoa too much

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ClothCanopy
    12 years ago

    You seem overly emotional and also like you only paint a nice picture of yourself while making him look like he is bad. I dated a girl who did similar things to that. She also would lightly put me down and make remarks that belittled me, perhaps you do that as well?

    You wrote you were crying and such and that sounded like you think the value of the relationship is based upon how much you are hurt by the other, and the intensity of your emotions. It just seems to me like you are acting like this relationship was such a big deal, when clearly you aren't right for one another. My guess is he simply isn't happy with you. You should take a break from relationships and reevaluate what you want out of your life, is my opinion.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    isn't a bit un common to move in together after just 4 months?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • knoshann
    13 years ago

    I would give him lot and lots of space and just do my own thing. He doesn't seem ready for a serious relationship.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • aussiewolf
    13 years ago

    he sounds like he isnt ready for a serious relationship and get a place together which is understandable only after 4 months. but for him to react this way and treat you like this is not right. you seem like a pretty down to earth chick who is understanding and you just want to know what is going on and its obvious that he cant give you a straight answer. i cant stand games and i would probably do the same thing as you are doing, just trying to figure things out for your own sanity.
    perhaps you should just focus on getting yourself back on track, sell your place and move back in with your parents. dont chase him anymore, let him have some time on his own to think about what he wants to do but i wouldnt wait too long before moving on and finding another guy. maybe even start off "fresh" with him. go on dates and see each other every other day and see if that works for you both. best of luck! xx

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • help16
      13 years ago

      ya I know when I think about it 4 months is a really short amount of time but I think when you find the right person time doesn't matter. We have a lot of mutual friends and will probably see eachother around. He ended stuff last Friday when he finally called me back, I was trying to get a hold of him to get my key back anyway because I'm done with the games. He said maybe he's just better on his own, so I really have no idea what's going on in his head, but I hope he figures it out and what makes him happy. My friends all hate how he has treated me and I should too but I don't, I still love him. He is a great person just dealt with this whole situation in the wrong way. Going to give him some space and hopefully we can at least be friends. I care about him a lot and would love to be with him but we will wait to see what the future holds I guess. Thanks for the comments.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • help16
    13 years ago

    I’m not sure when he said some stuff but he said he just needs his space and that it went too fast and he doesn’t like how he treats his family and friends now, which made no sense to me cause he sees them all the time. We have dinner with his family every Sunday night and I have never stopped him from going anywhere, he apparently just never told me. He said he is just really comfortable when he is with me and doesn’t want to leave when he’s with me. He said he kind of got freaked out when I mentioned the house thing but that was over a month ago and I only mentioned it cause he was staying over every single night, we would make dinner together and were basically living together. He also said he got wiered out when I put the big pile of clothes he had at my house in a drawer. My cat always layed on them and I had an empty drawer so I put them in there, but I guess that was the wrong thing to do. He slept over that night and in the morning we talked a little more, he went to work for a few hours and then I called him. We ended up going to dinner and he stayed over again that night. He went out for some Christmas shopping he said on Sunday and then ended up a friends, was supposed to call me when he got there but never did, I was out that way anyway so I stopped and they were there. It just kind of hurt that he didn’t call me but he said he forgot. I just want to be with him all the time and I know that isn’t possible but I wish he missed me too. He said he doesn’t show his emotions, which is true he’s pretty much like a rock, it takes awhile to get anything out of him. I went to dinner at his parents on Sunday and he just seemed kind of distant. We hung out by ourselves and watched TV afterwards and I asked him if he wanted me to leave, he said no. After awhile it was getting late and I told him I was going to go home and asked if he was coming over (he has every time since August), he said no.It hurts because he came into my life and was there every single day and now just like that, he’s not. Why does it hurt so bad when it doesn’t even seem like he cares?
    He said he may stop in the morning on his way to work, but he ended up not. I called him and told him I love him and he said it back, and that was it.
    This morning he stopped by and we talked a little, he seemed ok. He gave me a big hug and kiss and said he would talk to me later. I just am still in a funk just very mopey. He said that I’m clingy and he just needs his space now, why all of a sudden? I understand and am trying my best but it hurts, spending every night together for the past four months, to now not seeing eachother at all?
    It hurts when he doesn’t call or text at all during the day, I think about him all day. I didn’t want to let him in at the beginning but I let my guard down and this is what happened. What should I do?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0