My wife won't let my discipline my son... iin?

No offense but your wifes an idiot, your kids gonna grow up thinking he can do whatever he wants, mess with the wrong person and get his ass kicked and possibly even killed. Discipline him before you and your wife regret it.

ADHD/ADD is not a real disorder, DESPITE what some people will tell you. The medication doesn't seem to be working either, because it's designed to dumb/numb/calm kids down.

His mother/your wife is spoiling him by letting him have whatever he wants. He UNDERSTANDS that mommy will protect him from daddy, just like you said. You're right, she's wrong, and somewhere inside she KNOWS she's wrong.

If this isn't broken NOW, he may end up living there beyond the age of 18, playing XBOX4 and unable/unwilling to hold/get a good job and move out into the world.

Just beat the shit out of him one good time, it will be fun.

This post is a bit old but: I have ADHD and I refuse medication. Most of my hyperactivity is going on in my mind hence depressive thoughts and a mind that's literally all over the place.
During my childhood/adolescence I grew up knowing I didn't had to do things that wasn't to my liking because of my diagnosis. I even had special food in school because I was/am picky!
My parents got me assistance at school, I grew up assuming and demanding that I should always get what I want.
Mostly this worked and still does.

This has lead to me sitting here now at the age of 22 and realising that NOPE the world does NOT revolve around me. Other people doesn't give a shit about my needs and they sure as hell wont accept bullshit excuses from my side.

I'm desperately trying to adjust and learn how to function in society without all this extra support that has been showering down upon me but it IS a constant struggle because my disorder cannot be seen.
You'd not ask a person in the wheelchair to just "Get up and dance!" but you'd tell a person with ADHD: "for fuck sake, cant be that hard to remember!"

But trust me, it is. Your son cannot be held responsible for forgetting his chores. This means that as soon as he's told to do something he should do it before sitting down with the video games because if he gets started with that he will get sucked into that world and forget about everything else.

I hope that your son has received some discipline by now AND appointments to someone to talk to on a regular basis because people with ADHD sadly have a very increased risk of becoming depressed. It IS a struggle to adjust to a world that really isn't made for us with a different way of thinking and acting but that still does not remove ALL responsibility from your kid,

Yes it's normal. Unless they did something bad. Otherwise it's just child abuse

Moms are over protective especeilly of boys
but strangley never the girls .

Discipline your son before your son gets his ass kicked or killed no offense meant

One thing's for sure, he's not stupid!!

The first thing all children try to do, is divide and conquer and he has succeeded.

Your wife is wary that, maybe as a man, you will be too aggressive with him and you two may butt heads. However, she has no need to reward his bad behaviour either!

I find it surprising that they can spend many hours on these games but can't spend 10 minutes doing homework?! I think this is just teenage monster-hood (I have a son of 15yo who may be lucky to see 16yo if he keeps up his behaviour!) Of course, he may grow out of it and be a normal respectful person again or he may continually get worse until he finds your wife's limits.

As a female, I would worry that she is bottling up her anger with him and someday both you and he will return home to find her gone. She is not impervious to his cheek and nastiness, she may be just biding her time until he's old enough to leave. I know that this is how I feel at the moment :o(

Silly little teenage boys don't know when to STF Up!!

Discipline is something a child has to have in some form or other. Without it they will walk all over you, and never learn how to function in a proper society! How will he learn wrong from right?

Your wife sounds like my mom. Obviously she is not being irresponsible on purpose, and is doing what she thinks is best.

However, in my opinion (from personal experience with my brothers), it is much better to set strict boundaries. Firm parenting will churn out a better person in the end. Whereas a lifetime of coddling will leave your son a man-sized child who is unable to have a happy grown-up life.

If he does have ADHD, then it could be a short attention span and mood swings like hyperactivity. That really can't be helped and if you're firm, be kind as well and repetitive. Your wife probably thinks that If you "discipline" him that he may see it as punishing him for his incurable health issues. Instead of being firm or disciplining him, why not enrol him in sports or a hobby? That should teach him discipline and patience.

"Don't worry, he'll just grow out of it". I think that line is what comes to mind when I think about how most criminals are raised by single parents.

He is violent, immature, angry, gets away with everything? What? He killed the next door neighbor's dog? Don't worry, he'll grow out of it.

Ugh.

Tell her that he is your son aswell (assuming he is both of yours), and that you are not happy with his behavior, that he isn't being taught respect. Yes, he has a dissability, but like all children he needs to be taight responsibility and respect. If your partner isn't allowing those lessons to be taught, then she is a bad parent.

Well, your wide isn't an idiot. All 3 of my siblings, myself included, have ADD or ADHD, and its a real drain on parents. Im sure your wife is just emotionally exhausted, And worried for your child. However, depending on how severe your sons case is( from the sound of it, pretty severe) discipline is necissary. Try small things at first, things he can handle with relative ease, to show your wife that it works. Best of luck! :)

be firm and repetitive, he might have a short attention span