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My wife told me that, after 10 years together, she loves her abusive ex husband and not me. I find it unbelievable that she could be with me for so long and love someone else while telling me every day how much i mean to her.
Is this normal?
Basically, your ex-wife rebound instead of just taking the time to heal from the abusive relationship. I could go in dept with this, but it's easier to just say your ex-wife is stupid and needs a therapist to help her move on from that guy.
Also, please don't go on a, "All women suck," thing, because men do this too; you just happen to pick a bad one.
People should just be honest.
But also accept it when someone is honest with you.
Don't blame them, or try to make them feel guilty about it, or stay because that's what one of you wants.
People manipulate, it sucks.
But if they actually have balls enough to tell you they want, miss, need, desire anyone else.
Let them go, and move on.
Forgive but don't forget. I have tried to forgive an asshole that was my supervisor while in the navy he felt it was ok to sexually assault myself and a female I worked with. Its hard to do. But it can take a big burden off your shoulders. Then its easier for you to move on with your life.
It's for the better then. I would cut off all forms of contact with her, if you haven't already.
Your better off without her, she definitely seems to be having some underlying emotional issues to her psychological condition. You don't want a woman like that in your life, cheer up buddy.
Thanks for trying to lift my spirits bro. Yes, when she was only married to him for less than 2 years as a teen and hasnt heard from him in 15, i would agree that she has a lot of problems. I dont understand how she could care about a guy who did things like theese:
Beat her up while she was pregnant
Refused to get a job when he was 21 and she was 15
Shoved his own mother into a lamp and table
Got her pregnant at 14 when he was 20
Beat up a 14 year old boy and went to jail
Cheated on her several times
Hit her dad after apendicitis surgery and popped his stitches
She got disowned by her family for being with him. This is still in affect after all these years.
Stole money from her parents who had very little
Got his ass beaten to a pulp and hospitalized by her brother when he saw how badly he had beaten her
AND THIS STUPID BITCH STILL WANTS HIM? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?
Ill never understand. I just know that ive never hit or abused her. I always tried to make her feel better about herself and encouraged her to do her best. I gave her things that her minimum wage ex could never afford. She lived in a fairly nice home and always had a decent car to drive. Her children began to have more respect for her and began to call and see her more often. I did my best and he did his worst and the fool wants him over me. Fuck.
Ah, that's why.
Basically, he got her while she was young, stupid, and hormonal.
Our youth shapes us, and makes a heavy impact on our adult lives. Basically, your ex-wife is traumatized and fucked for life unless she gets serious help. The past is always going to haunt her, because she gave that man everything, endured a pregnancy by him, and left her family for him.
Your welcome mate, just don't torment yourself over her, not all women are like her, in fact she represents a very exclusive minority. I'm not a psychiatrist, but i'd guess she must have some very deep psychological issues. You've been with her for over ten years, so you must know what i'm talking about more than anyone.
Now, show her that you have managed to move on, somethings are better left untouched as they are, you cannot help, i know that you would like to and think you can or should because she was your loving wife for all that time, but she's beyond any help now. She's gotta figure it out on her own with the help of a therapist. Move on... She doesn't deserve your affection after the choice she made, no matter how benevolent you'd like to be.
My ex-wife told me 2 days after we got married in Vegas, (I was at the time stationed in San Diego in the Navy), she lived in our home state so I didn't know her situation at home except what she told me. Anyway pulling into driveway she says "Bill's been living with me and I love him". Needless to say I really hated women for about 5 years. She lives in Arkansas now. F'n Bitch.
Glad you got out of that situation bro. Did she take you to the cleaners?
In most states you can get an annullent if you havent been married for long. Is this what happened?
I was in the Navy, and a couple weeks after we got married a couple buddy's of mine were in a motorcycle wreck in San Diego. The one on back was thrown off and died. So I was asked by his wife to be military escorts for the funeral back home in Oregon. Well my wife drove down to meet me since I would be in town 2-3 days. Going to bed that night I was pretty well good to go with her naked beside me. She complained you always wanting sex, so I rolled over and said I will get it somewhere else then. Then she rolled me over and so I figured why not get satisfied. So I did, and while laying there with my hand on her lower belly, I asked her "Dawn are pregnant"? As it turns out she was, but from (refer to comment above about her bf living with her) Bill. So anyway the military says she was my wife and pregnant by someone else I still required to support her. So I paid to the state. At the end of paternity test upon verification thru the state I got my money back. Then she asks for her half. So anyways he wanted me to pay for shit she bought her bf, (a watch I remember). But I found later she moved to a duplex which is 2 blocks from where I am living now. Then I found out Bill (bf) lived 2 blocks. (Guess who was her baby daddy.) Anyway I divorced her needy greedy ass. Oh yea, she told me she would always need more than one man to keep her happy. I apologize for so long but I figured the details as they happened was important to story.
I know. I left already. I just dont understand some women and i guess i never will. Oh well.
Edit: SHE already left
So did she get back with her ex? Or do you know? Either way its s shifty situation.
No she didnt. Hes married and lives 2k miles away.
She didnt tell me this because she expected to go back to him. It was to get it off her chest. But this kind of backfired on her because it was more than i was ready to put up with. She still calls me a lot and has said that she is sorry but is also glad that she told me.
She did at least tell me in the end so thats better than nothing, and she might have been able to take a lot of my things and didnt, so im trying to forgive and go on. Its hard tho.