My wife and i are splitting up. need opinions and thoughts

My wife and I got married a little over two years ago. I should mention that she was mildly autistic as a child and consequently was always a loner. I have erectile dysfunction due to having my prostate removed due to cancer. I used to love satisfying her orally. She loved it and I loved doing it and then snuggling afterwards. But along the way I used to get night terrors and I would start thrahing away in my sleep. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping on the couch. Then she claimed she had no interest in sex and just sits in the bedroom watching TV, reading or surfing on her phone. Then I find out she has applied for a subsidized apartment because she feels she is better off alone.

I feel like the only moral thing to do is to stay with her until she gets her apartment but things between us are getting worse. I'm at the point where I am thinking of a) telling her to get out b) putting in notice that we (I) are vacating our apartment and then I can go my way and she can fend for herself. She has a daughter and son-in-law in town so she could stay there then I could rent out the bedroom or I can rent a room somewhere.

What are your thoughts on this?

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Based on 4 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • akcabinman

    I am sorry to hear about your cancer and loss of your prostate; I have no medical expertise when it comes to ED after prostate removal.
    I DO know from my own personal experience from when I was dealing with cancer that I had not been able to get an erection (not even once) or nearly 6 years. I was told, finally by my male pharmacist who had eventually gotten to know me very well on a personal basis... and whom I eventually confided in that I could not get it up, so he told me to have my Doctor test me for my levels of testosterone.
    I finally did so and the results were that I was producing such insignificant amounts that erections would simply not happen... The OTHER significant problem I was having at the time was I had lost so much weight that I was down to only 135 lbs, a weight lower than I had when in junior high school... and I could not gain any weight with the cancer...

    He put me on Androgel and after using it for a number of months my dick was able to get erections once again... and after a full year of using the prescription (Androgel) I had finally been able to gain a bit of weight.
    Thus, I suggest checking with your doctor for your testosterone levels to see where they stand and if you need any help with it...

    I know that none of that has anything to do with the real issue at hand, but it will be beneficial to you in your sex life (possibly) at some future point...

    As for the marital situation and wondering IIN for you to want to just send her packing and all... I suppose it is normal. You went through a lot with your own personal crisis of cancer some time ago and you want your life back to normal with a loving relationship and everything else back to normal. It feels like to you that life is once again out of your control. Thus, the quickest solution seems the best...
    However, I get the sense from your words that you are a kind hearted guy and that you do not bail out on those you love or care for.
    She is going through things you do not understand and you are going through things she does not understand... That makes it truly rough...

    How long had the two of you known each other before you got married, if you do not mind my asking you? It might be important here...

    I would like to suggest going to a Family / Marriage / Special Needs focused (because of your wife's background) Counselor... you should be able to find one who would do so for free or cost next to nothing (if you are limited in your finances...). Go together and see what you can see before you make any other decisions which might cause further ripples in your lives...

    Even if you two do split up, still I recommend a counselor. I have used couple in the past and I know that both of them helped me greatly in understanding what was happening and helped me to discover how to solve the issues.

    I wish you the best and look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes.

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    • lordofopinions

      Thank you so much for the detailed reply. A lot of good points in there. I'll check out the Androgel as it would come in handy if I meet someone else down the road.

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      • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

        Are yall still together? I think it's fixable man. Yall need to communicate better and get on TRT like that dude said.

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        • lordofopinions

          No hope of getting back together. I don't want her and vice versa.

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          • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

            You should think about TRT anyway. You will need to take it for the rest of your life but you'll have your 20 year old energy back. It's actually really good for you to have high testosterone. Once I get up in age ill get on it. Why not.

            Also how are things going now. Some time has passed since you posting.

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            • lordofopinions

              Nothing has changed. Still the same.

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