My wank journal

Arite lads, sweats here with another story about me life! I want to tell you about me wanking style, i has spent the last 3 years and 30something bottles of moustorisers to determine the greatest wank. First get yourelf in the bath and make sure its hot. second boil a kettle and pur the boiling water on a flannel and keep it in a ball. Third get angry with your mum or your dad or even maybe a news reader it don't matter. Fourth get rate sad perhaps watch a disaster or watch harry potter 6. Fifth sit on your hand until you cant feel it this will be quicker if you is a wide load.
Then grab the flannel in the numb palm and then go at it whilst fuming and crying, all the time you is sitting in the bath. I recomend thinking of them girls on hollyoaks they is well fit and i 'as totally met um all and shit. Word of warning do not then let a hoe in the bath after coz you will end up with a baby and no one wants one except vicars and homos!!!!!!