My soon to be ex wife hates my best friends wife

38% Normal
10 Comments

My best friend has been married to his wife for 5+ years, the 3 of us have been freinds for 7+ years and him and I have been friends for over 15 years.

I met my soon to be ex wife (6 days from now the divorce will be official) 2.5 years ago. She is 21 and I am 34.

Well my wife and I have been working on our relationship and trying to work things out, but still getting a legal divorce.

Here are my wifes issues with my best friends wife. So when we first met, I was with my wife every second and actually went to stay with her 1100 miles away from and pretty much walked away from everything in my life to be with her. My best friends wife and I have always been really good friends but I would never in a million years even if he was to die think about being with her. So I got a text message from my best friends wife saying "you don't love us anymore) to which I replied "I will always love you guys" Later onI told them that I was going to be coming home for a couple of weeks, and I got another text message from my BF-W that said "when you get home we need to go out and get drunk" So anyway she got mad about that. I go home and we go out, and I end up passed out in bed at around 11pm. My best friends wife goes in and gets my phone and sends a text message to my wife that says something to the effect "you are so beautiful I hope that you like me" That message did not go through but I was honest and told her what had happened. Well my wife again gets pissed off that she was in my room and that I was not full clothed (although I was fully covered up)

My wife got mad on 1 other occasion because we are talking about things that she does not know about, things that we have done together and what not. Which I will admit was rather rude, we were just catching up and did not mean to make her feel left out.

This stuff like this keeps going on on her end we simply can not get past the issues. I barely speak to my best freind and they dont even dare to call me. My best friend has told his wife not to send me texts or to call me. That is still not good enough so I because of this issue and some other ones, (I suspect she is having an affair) tell her I want a divorce and leave. The next day she shows up at work with divorce papers. The next day she is out at the bar with the guy I accused her of having an affair on me with. She claims that nothing happend and it was completly random.
So we had another fight about my best friends wife today which is pretty much a daily event.
So I finally put down my foot and said okay what is it going to take to get past this issue? She wants me to confront my best friends wife in front of her and lay down the law as far as what my wife thinks is approriate and what is not. I am supposed to go tomorrow to do this with her. My question is, will this accomplish anything or am I just scaring my relationship with my friends some more for nothing?

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38% Normal
Based on 16 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    "She wants me to confront my best friends wife in front of her and lay down the law as far as what my wife thinks is approriate and what is not"

    I don't see what's wrong with that.

    Quite frankly your best friend's wife WAS behaving inappropriately.
    She should have never been alone with you in a hotel room with you naked - under the covers or not. And then trying to text your wife on your cell while this is going on?

    Quite frankly, any woman who's husband does that... has a RIGHT to be pissed off. And the right to lay down rules on what she will accept.

    I mean yes, it's perfectly acceptable to have friends outside of your marriage. But it's not appropriate to be alone and naked with those friends - under cover or not.

    And then there's this: "My best friend has told his wife not to send me texts or to call me." It sounds like your best friend has an issue with her behavior - and possibly yours - too.

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  • zman574
    13 years ago

    Wow, I absolutly hate to beat up a dead horse. That is what everyone I talk to says. But she is insistant that my relationship with my best friends wife is not normal and not okay. Her entire family and everyone in her family say that the whole thing is very messed up and that I am in the wrong. That I am choosing between my family and my friends.

    I wish I could get her to post her side of the story and see what everyone thinks. This BS has driven me nutts.

    Okay let me add one more note here to see if that changes anyones opinion. In the beginning with this situation I was 100% honest with her.... well after a couple of explosions I began to bend the truth so as to not start huge fights. Nothing bad really ever happened and I still caught hell for even mentioning my best freinds wife.
    So does the fact that I have not been 100% honest with my wife change anything at all?

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  • stealinsugars
    13 years ago

    I understand your feelings about your son, but that doesn't change the fact that his momma is crazy. It's a tough situation and you have to stand up and take control. Obviously, you know you cannot make this woman happy so quit trying. Tell her you can't put up with this high school bs. Maybe you two should try counseling for the child's sake.

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  • amili
    13 years ago

    She's 21!! She has nowhere near the level of maturity that you and your friends do. Don't ditch them for her, she isn worth it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I agree with deepthought. Screw her. You're getting a divoce. Who cares what she wants or thinks?!

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  • DannyKanes
    13 years ago

    No offense but tell the soon to be ex bitch to jump off a cliff, why ruin a great friendship with your best mate and his missus, over a bitch that had been rooting some other guy behind your back? Tell her get fucked.

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  • zman574
    13 years ago

    Because of charater limits I had to cut a lot off my story. One of the things that I cut out is that we have a son together who is only 14 months old. He means the world to me and I die a thousands deaths a day not being around him.

    On another note against the advice of both my sister and step mother two people in my life that give no bs answers to my questions. I went ahead and tried to set this meeting up.

    My wife pushed off the date 1 more day, so I told her I would call my BF-w and see when she would be home so we could come over. My wife said she wanted me to do a 3 way call so that I would not candy coat the conversation that we were about to have.

    So in order not to throw my best friends wife under the bus I called her first and gave her a heads up about what was about to happen. I tried to do the 3 way call but apparently all I did was put my wife on hold while I left a message asking to get together and talk about the issues. So that turned into another huge blow up.

    On a side note my best friends wife said no problem getting together and trying to settle things. So now I am supposed to wait until my best friends wife calls back and then I am supposed to ignore the phone call, call back my wife so that she can listen in, and then set up the whole meeting.

    I am very affraid that she will possibly try and run off with my son if I dont find a way to reconcile which could push me over the edge to do things I don't want to do.

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  • lewlew80
    13 years ago

    Unfortunately ur wife is young so she'll never understand.

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  • deepthought33
    13 years ago

    If you and your wife are getting a legal divorce (regardless of how you relationship with each other stands after said divorce) then why are you worrying so much.

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  • stealinsugars
    13 years ago

    Don't do it. Your wife (soon to be ex) is an immature, controlling, witch. She will only find something else to bitch about. I think you'll be better off to get the divorce and move on with your life.

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