My son is self medicating for his depression

Here's my story...it's a long one!

I ended up going to counseling myself. Literally, ten minutes into the first session, the psychologist came to the conclusion that I had depression and that I should be medicated! I refused the pills, and told him that if that my problems were 'worked on', that I shouldn't need medication. I think many people are in bad situations that may make them feel depressed. My opinion is that no matter what prescriptions they have you on, if the depressing situation isn't resolved, you will still be depressed, and just masking the feelings with pills. No thanks.

Long story longer, it took a year and a half for them to finally diagnose me with ADHD, which seemed much more accurate to me. Again, I chose not to use medication. After some time, I finally gave in, with an open mind that a prescription may help. I really wanted things to change.

The first (very low dosage) pill they gave me, gave me horrible insomnia. The second pill also had undesirable side effects. The third I tried finally seemed to help. While I did take it for a few months, the situations and people that were causing my depressive feelings did not change.

It's impossible to put out a fire by yourself, if someone else keeps throwing gas on it...

I think all that counseling was a huge waste of time (and money). My councilor didn't do anything for me accept dig up crap from my past, and still did not help me get over it.

Possibly, a good psychologist, with a 'correct' diagnosis, and a medication accurate to the symptoms, things may have been different for me. But again, refer to my fire and gas analogy.

Please, whatever you do, do NOT verbally compare him to his sister. Keep that to yourself. That will certainly not help his situation/depression if you remind him how much 'better' she is than him. Ask me how I know...

To be 20 years old nowadays is a completely and totally different ball game to when you were 20.

He HAS promise, not HAD. Don't give up on him. Even though you may not agree with his decisions, try to support them, but also help him realize the consequences. Many of the people I grew up with that were 'slackers' and 'pot heads' have ended up in extremely successful careers.

I've, again, probably babbled to much, but I hope I was of at least some help.

If your son is doing as you say, then you raised an idiot.

Buy Lithium Orotate online. It's 10 times cheaper and 10 times more effective than what the doctor prescribes you, doctors want money, the lithium they prescribe is harmful. Trust me. I take it everyday and have never been depressed since I started, it's actually very good for healthy cell function. Counseling is generally always a waste of money and no help at all, writi g down your thoughts in a notebook would be cheaper and more effective. As long as he isn't smoking pot everyday, you should have to worry about him becoming a doper. I hope you read this and make it a priority. I am trying to help and hope very much this helps you!

Weed is has health benefits. It is definitely safer than pharmaceuticals. <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/health-benefits-of-medical-marijuana-2014-4" rel="nofollow" class="ui-link">http://www.businessinsider.com/health-benefits-...</a>

He sounds so depressed. I used to be like him but, I've been coming out of it and taking baby steps towards getting my life back on track. It takes a lot of time and will to yourself out of a depressive funk. Diet is a part of it. What we eat greatly effects our neurological health. There's one doctor who links diet with neurological conditions like ADHD and another that links mental illness to diet. The two both have books and the former has a comprehensive program for healing the brain. That is if you're interested?

dickwashington I am happy to provide more info. My son is a gifted writer, and I have always encouraged him to submit things. He did for a time and still writes, but he seems afraid of putting himself out there. I think maybe there is a fear of rejection. The irony here is that his sister always envied him when they were little. She is five years older. He was a cute, outgoing vivacious little boy. I used to call him a natural salesman, because he could win anyone over. My daughter is a very driven person and has always accomplished whatever she sets her mind to do. A
After the divorce I had custody for a while. Then his mother took him (she wanted child support), and fathers always lose in court. She married a mean drunk and he hit Justin on more tan one occasion. Threw him into a wall once. When i found out I got him out of there and he moved in with her parents when he was 17. He was in that environment for about three years. He was a sensitive child and this damaged him. I wish I could find him the help he needs. He has severe trust issues with the world and thats part of the problem, yet at least with me I still see the inherent sweetness that he has inside. Hope this added info helps.

you said he had a lot of talents and promise could you give some examples? how did you try to nurture said talents?
what kind of achievements did his sister accomplish? whats the age difference between him and his sister?
do you feel like possibly between your high expectations and living in his sisters shadow could have possibly brought on some of his problems?
when did you notice he was depressed? how long has he been self medicating?

sorry for asking these questions i just need some more detail to better analyze the situation

Thank you Jeff. No you did not ramble. You offered insight. I never compare him to his sister. For that I'm glad I've never fallen into that trap. He did not have an easy childhood. he got caught up in the mess of our divorce at age nine, and his mother has always been distant. She told his then 15 year old sister she wished shed never had children. I know he has baggage and I want so desperately to help him find his way.

Some people can handle weed and normal life and some can't. Seeing as he still doesn't have a job i'd say he's just become extremely lazy. And most of the parents money is probably being spent on weed. But depression can also make someone seem lazy, when in fact they just have no energy, and since weed makes you sleepy i would say it's only hurting him. Unfortunately a lot of the depression medicines side effects is also tiredness so i can understand why he may not want to take it.
If fatigue is really the issue i would say try giving him caffeine to help get him into the swing of things so his body will get used to being awake with the meds.

He needs help, I hope the mental health system is better in your area than it is in mine.