My sister is younger than me but growing up faster

84% Normal
12 Comments

Me and my sister are like chalk and cheese. I'm the quiet timid one and she's the complete opposite. We get on well. She's 17 and going out round town tomorrow clubbing with her friends... I don't know what to feel but it hurts inside. I'm 21 and never done that. I've been to pubs, I've been hammered well and truely once. And been tipsy and drunk a few times, the first time I got drunk was at 19 properly, and I felt relieved I'd done it, I was like most people I felt happy that I couldn't be judged for it.

Stupid I know. I've always struggled with fitting in and meeting people, I've had loads of best friends in school but they all moved away. I knew I was different from the age of 16... I knew I was worried about growing up. It's like I don't want too but I already have because I feel mature. I don't like drinking much but I've never been clubbing or had a boyfriend. My social anixty sucks but I am getting better.

I'd rather just go to the gym or the cinema or bowling or for a meal and a few drinks. But I can't find these types of people. The people like me.
And even my sister is showing me the ropes of life... When it should be me showing her :(

Is any of this normal?
Advice ?

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 31 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • deshikd
    8 years ago

    It's fine. I'm 22 and my younger brother is 19, and he is way more adjusted than I am. I live at home, and he has an apartment. He has lots of friends he hangs out with, and I prefer staying home alone. People are different and move at different paces, but there are plenty of people like you. You'll find them.

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  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    It's a normal thing to go through. If you wanna meet more people you will have to introduce yourself to others and start conversations in most instances. It's not an easy thing to do if you have anxiety about it. It will be rough at first, but you will be better in the end.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Its awful, im not sure how to strike a convo with a stranger as im not used to it, and I just feel like they'll think im weird or desperate.

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      • theseeker
        8 years ago

        It's easier to make conversation with people you see often, like at work or something. A simple "Hi, how are you?" can go a lot of different ways. Think about how you will approach it.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Of course most makes friends at work... I work with family.. And if anyone was to come from the outside world I'd hide... But if people come now I go and speak to them.

          I just don't see certain people often enough. All I want is one good mate.

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          • theseeker
            8 years ago

            If that's the case, then you should figure out how you can put yourself in a position where you will have a better chance of seeing people more often. Perhaps taking an interest in something new? Don't be afraid to try something new because it seems what you're doing now isn't working. Unfortunately, that's all I can give you. Good luck, I hope you figure something out.

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    sounds like jealousy

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    You sound like me, but I'm a guy ;)

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    • Short4Words
      8 years ago

      Very smooth

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Are you sitting at home waiting for your life to change? You must know that doesn't work.

    What's the point of agonising about being different to your sister when you don't want to be like her anyway? Forget about "shoulds", they achieve nothing except to make you more self-absorbed and miserable.

    If you go to the gym and the cinema there are people there who are like you at least in that they're in the same place at the same time. Get to know at least one person at each place to start off with and take it from there and remember, it's your responsibility to change your life if you want to, it has nothing to do with your sister or anyone else, the buck stops with you

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      No im not sat at home waiting for my life to change, the thing is im happy believe it or not... but I feel like im holding myself back somehow and im going to regret my whole life.

      The thing is I didn't make life long friends and school or college because I was in a hole and wanted to hide.. I regret that, im trying by smiling and talking to people if they talk to me, I just cant talk to stranger randomly because I don't know how?

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        It's not about talking randomly to strangers, you're overdramatising the situation. Is it not possible for you to make light casual remarks to people you come into contact at the gym or the cinema, say about the weather? Take your attention off yourself at these places or in the street or on public transport: there are LOTS of other people looking down and not making contact with anyone else, you're not the only one in the world to feel like this.

        It's not unusual to not make life long friends in adolescence, in fact it's more common than the alternative.

        If you're happy with your life I don't understand why you sent the post you did

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