My sister insulted me, then got upst with me. iin

58% Normal
5 Comments

I need your advice on how to deal with this situation.

My sister is the only family member I have. She is a high school teacher, is married and has two small children. She sometimes calls me a dickhead, bitch, slut, in a "joking" manner. She is 35.

I am 2.5 years younger than her, in a better job than her, and get paid more than her. I have a boyfriend, but not married or kids.

Yesterday, I caught two trains to visit her, and when I told her she called me a dickhead - for catching public transport as opposed to asking her to pick me up. Also, because I wore shorts, she called me a slut, and said something along he lines of, did you purposely wear shorts because you were hoping to get raped. By the way, they were lose, gym shorts, not sexy or innapropriate in any way.

Anyway, her insults upset me and I told her. She was extremely surprised, and tried to make me feel bad by saying things like "I thought you could take a joke", "I thought we were in the same level, and can just joke around", "I am sorry I invited you", "I didn't realise I had to watch what I say around you" etc.

The thing is, she had called me these things before, but I copped her insults because I KNEW she would get upset if I stood up for myself and told her off. However, this time I had had enough, and thought it was about time I stood up for myself.

Is this normal? How should I deal with her and this situation in general?

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 36 votes (21 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Nah, your sister is just emotionally abusive. Abusive people are common(they're everywhere), but they're hurtful, unhealthy, and a nuisance to deal with. It sucks even more when the abuser is a family member, because it's harder to stay away.

    For example, "You can't take a joke?" is one of the famous things all abusers say, because it's meant to make you feel bad for not enduring their insults. Then there's the 'anything I do isn't enough' feeling, or the 'Everything I do is wrong' feeling. Yeah, it's all abuse.

    Research emotional abuse, because the first step to resolving this issues is to understand what you're dealing with and accepting that your sister is a hurtful person, because you can never get out the cycle of abuse if you're in denial about what's going on. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Treklover11376
    8 years ago

    Punch her in the throat

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Can you just stay away from her in future? She's obnoxious and insulting and probably jealous of you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      She is the only family I have. I feel that if I stay away from her I will be alone :(

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        That's your choice then, but I don't understand it. Are you saying you have no friends in the whole world? I mean people who don't insult or verbally abuse you. If not, it's time you made some so you can surround yourself with positive people and detach from your horrible sister

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0