My parents keep demeaning me without even knowing it

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My parents keep criticizing nearly every sentence i say, stripping away any hope of confidence even though they don't actually fucking know what i'm like. I used to be at least somewhat confident that i could say something but now i'm paranoid of saying everything wrong and i hate them for it. I used to be able to say what i wanted to but now i don't even know if that's what i want to say. They keep snipping away at how i say, what i say, when i say, how i eat breathe think and fucking everything. So now I'm hyper-aware of my own awkwardness but always too late to stop it, and i can't say anything right anymore, cause it's natural to slink away when embarrassed, and now i can't say anything without worrying it might be taken wrong so i HATE them because with confidence i might be able to move on and fix it when i say the wrong things but i can't because i don't have any anymore. I only now realize that's why I hate them. I hate them for ruining me. I hate them for raising me like this. i'm too much of a fucking coward to do anything... And i hate them for it. For chipping away at every damn sentence. Wouldn't you?

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Based on 15 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Murun
    6 years ago

    https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse

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    • Boojum
      6 years ago

      Yeah, that Philip Larkin poem is appropriate here, since it resonates with moody, self-pitying teens and adults who refuse to accept responsibility for their failings and insist their problems are all due to bad parenting.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        6 years ago

        It's not just their fault... If i didn't listen, i didn't let it get to me i wouldn't have been so bad at everything. But i still hate them for it. They aren't innocent.

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  • Lovelvforever1998
    6 years ago

    ... my brother was this super popular, topper of my school, like everybody knew him... I'm great at studies too but not as awesome as him... I have friends, like really good friends, but not sooooo many as my brother did... and parents just believe that I will never get a college as good as his, they just act like there is nothing wrong with that.... my mother once told me that I will never be as good as my brother... it just sucks

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    yes you broke them are you happy. now everything you say is like acid too them. way to go. its their way of saying just shut the hell up. if you dont have anything positive to say bite your tongue. think about this for one moment. if you had an agreeable message to deliver {you dont) would it be meet with hostility? no . so basically every sentence that comes out is a negative statement to their ears. its beyond your control , you turned into a witch and you hate them? you should hate yourself little miss negativity. get off your ass and help out. you cant

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    One thing I've learned: You can't change what other people say or how they act, but you can change how you choose to respond.

    Another thing: The Halo Effect is very real. If you have positive feelings about someone, you will tend to interpret everything they say and do in a positive way. If you have a negative view of someone, everything they say and do will seem to be insulting and demeaning.

    Your parents may truly be spiteful, negative, vicious, mentally-disturbed people who should never have had a child. If so, the best thing you could do would be to plan on getting away from them as soon as possible. If you believe that's the only way you can restore your feelings of self-worth, decide how you can achieve that goal and focus on it.

    However, it has to be said that you're not the first person to be convinced that their parents are awful at a certain stage of life. Many later see that things weren't actually all that bad.

    How you respond to your parents is up to you. It's entirely possible to listen to the most vindictive thing possible, say to yourself, "That's your opinion," and move on. It's possible to listen to the most ignorant statement and say to yourself, "That's wrong, and I could prove it to you, but I know it wouldn't make any difference," and just move on.

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  • peachpumpkin
    6 years ago

    it's normal to hate people who do this to you but not normal for them to do this. im so sorry youve had to deal with this, i wish for your safety and well-being <3

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  • Moxie666
    6 years ago

    That's a form of mental abuse. My parents did the same thing with me growing up, I went from being confident and able to express my thoughts to never knowing what was right or okay to do and say. What is normal is your reaction to the way they are treating you. They have made you feel lesser than them and it's oppressive. Being angry is sometimes the only way to feel when you feel stripped of any way of expression.

    Try seeking out counseling or journaling. The latter helped me get through some of the darker times with my parents. Hopefully it'll help you out too.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    I think it's normal to hate someone who makes you feel like like that.

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    • Zorak
      6 years ago

      Some posts get real.

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        Seriously, dats sum deep ass, heavy muthafuckin' shit!

        My folks as well as some other people to whom I'm close in my life have said and done some things that have made me wanna crawl in a hole and die. I think it's hella normal to feel hate towards people for that bullshit.

        What's weird is my sister has been awful to me a lot in the past, but lately I've seen her have a lot of painful issues and it feels like Karma to me. When I see Karma bite people in the ass for shitty stuff they've done it somehow neutralizes the hateful feelings inside me.

        This may sound kinda crazy, but I feel that if I can have enough faith in God's judgment, or Karma or whatever, then I can short circuit all that toxic hate that brews up inside me then makes me feel so bad inside. I feel so much lighter and happier when I trust that we reap what we sow, and that God will sort it out.

        I also have something darker that I rather feel is Karma and sort of comforts me. A lot of people, my fellow Christians included, might not like it, but... oh well.

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    • Zorak
      6 years ago

      Imagine bukakke happening in a zero gravity environment.

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