My ocd cleaning girlfriend is driving me crazy

5 Comments

This isn't intended as a post to bitch about my gf, I'm genuinely looking for advice.
So my girlfriend and I have recently moved into our first home together (lived with parents for 2 years).
Gfs mother has seriously bad OCD for cleaning. Spends minimum 6 hours every day cleaning what is already spotless and my gf has picked up some of it, not to such a bad level but far exceeding my own.
And by the way my gf is an amazing person, She's very kind, helps me in so many ways and outside this topic she's a dream to be around.

I'm not filthy, I wash dishes after eating and brush the floor most days and make the bed blah blah.
We spoke about it before we moved in and I explained that I'll never be able to hold myself to the same level she's used to but I'll always try and help.
We moved in a month ago and after a period of maybe a week she started to point out things id left out or not done properly, emphasis on not done properly.
I'm a calm person so fair enough I'm trying to help and up myself to make her comfortable so I took the advice and tried harder.
It's at the point now though that on my days off I've been spending 2-3 hours cleaning the place and she would still come back and only point out the wrong. Never the good.

Last night I totally lost it though, after cleaning the place I cooked for her and washed up afterwards while she was in the shower. She came out and started again to point out bits I'd left but getting really angry with me.
So I flipped and shouted back. She was annoyed that I had cleaned the house, but not properly. And she was annoyed that I'd cooked, but messily. And now she was annoyed that I'd cleaned after cooking, but not properly.
Anyway I ended it by calling her an ungrateful bitch and walked out to cool down... Not the best move but I was so pissed off.

I know this is one sided but I am a fair man and trying to describe it as I see it.

Thoughts?

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • momwatcher69
    4 years ago

    What if you let HER be the "queen of the house - inside", and YOU be the "master of the house - outside"?

    She can vacuum, dust, clean, laundry, etc... everything INSIDE the house, to her "standards".

    You can cut the grass, plant flowers, paint the fence, stain the deck, organize the garage, wash the cars, etc.

    I realize she "got" these traits, with her upbringing, but to scold you, for not cleaning, perfectly, is a little much.

    My gal LOVES when I cook dinner (or breakfast on weekends) load the dishwasher, wipe the countertops down, etc.
    We have 2 dogs/2 cats, and I help her vacuum, wash windows & clean screens (once a year) do laundry/fold/hang clothes, etc.
    She appreciates me, and what we can do, together, without "harping" at me.
    Teamwork!

    I make the house look good, on the outside, and she makes it look good, on the inside.

    We have a clean, tidy, and presentable home. No "clean-freaks" here, but we have a nice place.

    There are a LOT more things, in life, to worry about, than a "speck" on the counter.

    If she doesn't like the way YOU clean, then DON'T. Let her do it, to HER satisfaction.

    Sounds like Monica & Chandler, from "Friends" tv show.

    Remind her that you weren't born with a silver spoon, in your mouth, but you also weren't born, with a dustpan, in your ass, either !

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ellenna
    4 years ago

    She agreed to accept the fact that you're not as fussy as she is and she's gone back on that agreement. You either need to detach and ignore her pickiness, persuade her to seek therapy for her condition or end it. As things stand, it can't get better unless she changes.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Iszzy123
    4 years ago

    find new woman
    Give up on realtionship
    Invest in real estate
    Clone yourself and let the clone deal with it but switch when it’s to to get freaky;)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    You should get some dirt from the garden and sprinkle it around the house just to piss her off.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dimwitted
    4 years ago

    You 2 have to come to some kind of middle ground. I'm a clean freak but my spouse isn't so after several years of marriage we have come to a middle ground.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0