My obsession with my family has led me to hate them

Growing up i was always the youngest, have an older brother and older sister, and for the most part all of us got along pretty well. We grew up like normal kids, would have water fights with the neighbor kids and go cherry picking with them around the neighborhood as well. I remember my brother and i used to go the the neighbors tree house on Halloween and we'd tell scary stories to one another. It was wonderful growing up, looking back now on its almost like a dream. Life is so different. We moved a way once i was 11 and the neighborhood we moved to was an immigrant neighborhood so the neighbors weren't as easy to get to know and their kids were grown.

So anyways as the years went by it seemed as though it all seemed to fall apart. Parents got divorced, my older siblings began to speak to me less often and since they were entering teenhood and eventually college i saw them only every few months. As a teenager it bothered me alot and i obsessed about keeping everyone together, i just wanted things to be the way things were before, when life felt comfortable. Im not talking about childhood nostalgia i just mean as a family we'd stay close, in a way it was a safety net. I could have the worst of days back then and come home knowing i had a warm and loving family to come back to, to eat with, the watch tv with. Now, i don't like to take major social risks (eg. asking out a girl to coffee) because i know if i get the worst of situations i come home to an empty house alone.

I used to be so proactive about trying to get things back to the way things were supposed to be, calling my siblings, trying to meet up for Christmas with parents (a different party for a different parent) but the most that would come out of it would be perhaps 4 hours together eating a small dinner and having small talk about our activities ,then i see everyone again in another 6 to 8 months.

I've visited extended family on other parts of the country and they call and talk with one another all the time, meet up on thanksgiving and and are all truly loving and caring people, who value their family. I don't understand why everyone in my immediate family is so comfortable with alienating one other for each others lives. I can understand why one would want personal space but this is depressing. I'm so bitter these days I'm beginning to hate family. All i care about now is my success. I have wasted to many years of my life stressing worrying and wasting my time on people who seem to take each other for granted. I have recently made the effort to become estranged from them and when the time comes move to another part of the country. is it normal that i feel this way?