My name is alex and i found jesus in a box of captain crunch cereal.

34% Normal
32 Comments

He won't stop commenting on how drab my apartment is. He also has a thick Welsh accent and a monocle, and keeps singing The Sign by Ace of Base, and he keeps fondling my yams with a slightly disturbing fervor. He claims he doesn't know how he got in my cereal box, but must have said "Captain my ass!" at least five times. He's very small too. Kinda like an The Indian in the Cupboard sorta thing, except instead of an Indian, he's Jesus.

What should I do? I threatened to call the cops but he says he'll kill me with his "magic Sammy Sosa medallion" if I do.

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 124 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 32 )
  • ouchez
    14 years ago

    Lol troll.

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  • StrangeDuckDude
    14 years ago

    Well, I met Jesus too. The bastard tried to steal my car last week. We need to improve border security...

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  • _me_
    14 years ago

    Yeah it's normal, happens all the time. I found my 39th Jesus last week. They get kinda anoying after a while.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    People were all little back then, don't judge.

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  • AlexandraRuth
    14 years ago

    Man, Jesus was was in my cornflakes last Sunday cuz he knew I was supposed to be at church. He's a sneaky little guy.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    lol. something like that happened to me a cuple of times. only i thing that i was high off angel dust.

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Ask him if he'll like to sing "Chase the Morning" from Repo! The Genetic Opera with you.

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  • LifeTheRide
    9 years ago

    Pic or it didn't happen.

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  • alv1592
    12 years ago

    Alex I don't know about y'all...who/what is Sammy Sosa? And what do you mean by "an The Indian?" That sentence didn't make sense...lol sorry

    ...cool story btw!

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  • lauren1119
    12 years ago

    I don't even know how that is possible!!!!?!??! :)

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  • supersox316
    12 years ago

    i dont even get this planet anymore .')

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  • ramenthief
    13 years ago

    are you serious yes you are just a little high

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  • baby.girl
    13 years ago

    Ru high??

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  • amdsgirl
    13 years ago

    Oh my gosh...the same thing happened to me a month ago....I put him down the garbage disposal...I strongly recommend getting a different cereal if you are considering captain crunch..fair warning people

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Which TV show was this from again?

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  • Mastersash
    13 years ago

    YES. YES. YES.

    *where u been hiding, foo?
    ..or have u been asking me that for a while now, as well? BAHahahaaHAha. Yep.

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    • Mastersash
      13 years ago

      Is Durga the Boat Captain, by any chance?
      (hint: yes. yes she is ;)

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    What the hell r u smokin I want somee JK!!!!!!!!XD

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Are you hallucinating because youre stoned?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    DUDE what's upp with that?? I found Jesus in my wheaties and he fucked up this date I had with a guy. Ughh anyone know how to get rid of him??

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  • XxlimeyxX
    13 years ago

    BAAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG LOL XD loved it! keep writing :)

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  • XJayX
    13 years ago

    .......Is this a joke? If it is, get off the site. IF it's not, get some help....doesn't sound like jesus to me...

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  • themanofmw2
    13 years ago

    Liltdawg lol and dont do crak this is what happens

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  • maryvale
    13 years ago

    You must have some really good drugs and I want sone lol

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  • jhollow
    13 years ago

    Didn't he die... like 2000 yrs ago? Come on, go ahead and kill yourself so you can be in heaven with Jesus... that way you can bug the hell out of him in his house... HA!

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  • Dylan0419
    13 years ago

    Lol it's amazing what people can come up with

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  • tori
    14 years ago

    Well, I sure hope you are right. You know that song called "what if God was one of us". Just take it in stride and see if he would like to eat some of your cereal he came in. Hmmmmmmm

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  • lewlew80
    14 years ago

    U probably never even seen a church

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Try to be his friend lmao

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  • jp81291
    14 years ago

    Douchebag

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  • peaceandlove:)
    14 years ago

    You need help or you could just get a life.

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  • Ihave2try
    14 years ago

    Ahh??? I think it's time too seek a shrink!

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