My mother is a pain in the ass

o.k., here is my story/nightmare.i am in love with the most beautiful creature God has ever created. my family hates her. i am 57 years old and live 35 miles away from my mothers house. we lost the old man/my best friend about 5 years ago. my mother is sharp as a tack. she don't drive, cant go up and down steps refuses to move and wants me to be my father. and wait on her. its not going to happen. my family tells me its my job to wait on her hand and foot. my girlfriend will do anything to help with the situation. NO, she doesn't want her to help. i have a brother, useless and out of town, will not come into town. i wash my mothers underwear and clothing. is this normal? i do the shopping, the banking, the lawn care, the laundry, the dog care, its not good enough. is this normal? i have told my mother i am going to ask this woman to marry me. to make it short and sweet, my mothers answer was, can you sell this ring for me your father gave to me for our 25th anniversary. they were married 54 years. now we talk about a reverse mortgage, no power of attorney, a will that she does not know who is in charge. these are the facts and yes, i am confused. help, throw me a life ring. thanks. good luck to all, the Tree Frog.