My mom told me i can't love people properly and now i'm scared she's right?
Long story short, about two or so years ago I had an argument with my mom and she told me I can't express my or generally love other people properly and it's kind of stuck with me ever since. I remember writing out a list of rules for myself about it too, outlining how I must prevent anyone from ever having feelings for me because they'd be disappointed to find out that in reality I'm broken and can never love them back properly. Anyways, traumatic backstory aside, that's not what I'm here to talk about today;
I recently started dating a guy in a long distance relationship. This is my first relationship. This is not his first relationship. The backstory is relevant because I now feel an immense amount of guilt about being with him. I... kind of (?) got over what my mother told me but not really, and now that I'm in an actual relationship it rushes back in. I'm not as affectionate as him. I never have been, I hate being touched and roll my eyes good naturedly at most sappy stuff. But he's so sweet and kind and sometimes I'm not... I just want to know, is there any possibility she's right? Is that a "thing"? Is it possible? I need to know because I don't want him to waste time with me if he's never going to get back what he deserves