My mom hates me...

47% Normal
13 Comments

My mom and I have a weird relationship. Sometimes we get along great! other times not.. More and more now we have been arguing a lot usually in our fights she ends up saying i hate you, i give up on you, go away etc. curentlly my mom, brother and i are in japan visting my realitives.Its like any minor thing i do she gets angry! I guess its my attitude that ticks her off im not sure.. i dont try to be sassy its just my personality! So while i went to go take a shower i over heard my mom telling her sister "i hate her, is it really that bad that i hate my OWN child?". So i thought about what she said and I thought " should i be crying that my mom hates me? " but i wasnt sad or anything! actaully i just felt tired. so i want to ask is this normal?
thanks!
p.s just in case some of you guys have a wild imagination. she dosent abuse me or anything like that!

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 68 votes (32 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 13 )
  • xxVIXxx
    13 years ago

    everyone is just a person whether it be your mom, dad, sister, friend, uncle, etc. Not everyone's personalities can get along. Maybe the both of your personalies just clash but for her to actually hate you is a bit extreme. I have heard and known parents who hated their kids and vice versa so it may be normal but it's not right. One of two things will happen. Either you will grow up and move out then you guys will get along or you will grow up and move out and she will still hate you. Either way you should try to talk to her about this. Just tell her that you feel bad that you guys are always arguing and you feel like she hates you. More importantly tell her that you love her and emphasize it...because who knows she probably thinks you hate her too.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • instagramlover17472
    11 years ago

    ask her why she hats you. then if she hates you so much, ask her do she even love you. if she say anything to you thats hurtful just, say something calmfully. dont yell. just say a simple answer.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Tipsydishes
    12 years ago

    I don't think she hates you, really. But I do think she is just saying that she hates you so you can end your current relationship. She is upset that she dosen't have control over you and wants to have complete control. Not saying your mother is a control freak.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • trenie_girl4
    12 years ago

    HappyB...I completely understand the personality thing. Parents sometime exaggerate you 'attitude' to make you seem worse to the spectators so they don't come off as the bad guy..font worry about it..once u are out of the house she will want u back:)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • EbonySheep
    12 years ago

    It's normal. And she doesn't hate you, she just isn't enjoying your relationship right now. Some people will disagree with what I'm about to say, citing "unconditional love", but I think that's crap. Any relationship is a two-way street. So ask yourself, what can you get out of the relationship and what can she get out of it? "Unconditional love" I believe is when the mother (perhaps) enjoys feeling needed. For my mom and I, I rely on her to pay $6,000 annual tuition and to be one of the few people I can be completely honest with. In exchange, I help her out around the house, keep her company when she's lonely, and keep a squeaky clean traditional image with my other relatives (they don't know I'm atheist, etc.). Find what works for you and make sure to maintain open and honest lines of communication.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    I would say get a therapist.

    As for being abused ....... you may be under the impression that abuse has to be physical.

    You may want to review the cycle of violence.
    VERBAL abuse is part of the cycle. And telling someone that you hate them when you're forcing them to live with you can be abusive.

    =====================
    http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence/

    Calm
    - Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
    - Physical abuse may not be taking place
    - Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
    - Victim may hope that the abuse is over
    - Abuser may give gifts to victim

    Tension Building
    - Abuser starts to get angry
    - Abuse may begin
    - There is a breakdown of communication
    - Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
    - Tension becomes too much
    - Victim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'

    Incident
    - Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)

    Making-Up
    - Abuser may apologize for abuse
    - Abuser may promise it will never happen again
    - Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
    - Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Quattrosquirrel
    13 years ago

    Don't worry it happened to my sister and mother and you will get over it don't worry pet!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • glasscandy
    13 years ago

    Yeah, I know it sucks, but it is the same for me and my father. He is a real hard ass to me, and I've heard him tell my mother the same thing, so after a while, if you are like me, you just realize that you don't hate them back, you just stop caring about what they think about you. Obviously you should try to work it out, but be carful, you don't want to hurt yourself in trying to reason with her.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      i dont hate her.. but sometimes i really think i do. It hurts when she says thoes things but i just try to get over it and not let it affect me.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • blop
    13 years ago

    She does not hate you, she thinks she hates you because she can not gain control over you. You should sit down and talk to her. Ask her what she expects of you and you can do the same. Both of you can come to an agreement of how each of you wants to be treated if you are both willing.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Merlot
      13 years ago

      I couldn't have said that better. Talking openly and agreeing not to argue ALWAYS worked for me as a kid. If you sit back, shut up and listen, then hopefully you will get the same respect when it's your turn to talk. Don't interrupt just like you wouldn't want to be interrupted. Then maybe, you can come to an agreement like ^ said.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • happyB
    13 years ago

    Stop having such an attitude. I don't know what it is with teenagers disrespecting their parents these days. My mom would have smacked my face off if I ever gave her attitude. Now I hear kids talking crap to their parents all the time like it's no big deal. Your mom loves you and wants to do what is best for you, but your "personality" is probably extremely frustrating to her. Give her a break.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -6
    -6
      -
    • deviantd
      13 years ago

      after reading your reply to @: erikajj2, I'd say the main problem is cultural. I don't know a lot about Japanese culture, but from what I've seen and heard they are rather reserved, mild mannered, and meek,in general and especially "respectful" towards elders. at least by american standards.

      It sounds like you have been raised in america (at least mostly) and are a normal girl by our standards. That just isn't what your mom expects.

      Try learning more about how your mom grew up and how she was expected to act at your age. This should explain a lot of things for you. afterwards take a look at your own actions, try to see yourself and your actions from another person's perspective.

      Then ask yourself if you are acting especially difficult or if her expectations are unrealistic. either way one day you will get to move out and then you won't have to deal with her all the time

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0