My mom annoys me
There have been times when I feel that she's unjustly sided against me. And yes, there's the cliche, "she doesn't understand me."
Everything she does triggers a negative inner reaction in me, especially her shrill voice when she's loud.
Now before you peg me as some idiotic brat, I do have self-awareness and appreciation for everything that she does.
I don't think there's ever been an incident in my life where I've yelled at my mom, or purposefully said something hurtful. I plan to keep it that way.
I know she won't be around forever :(, and that if I'm mean to her, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
I have to make a conscious effort to be cordial to her, because of my negative feelings towards her. I always feel anxious and self-conscious in her presence.
Most of the time, when she's around, I wish she wasn't. That's a shame, because the thought of her actually being gone, gone, is too horrific to think about.
What I think I need to do is get a job, and move out. With autonomy from her, I wouldn't have to worry or resent her making certain decisions for me.
My mother's a wonderful woman. I can tell she tries to be kind and considerate.
In the past several years, due to in-home drama, I isolated myself more, and became detached from my parents.
I've always gone out of my way to be considerate to my mother, so that she knows I love her, but I'm still cold to her, and annoyed by things that she does.
I always suppress the anger when I feel it rising, and the times when I force myself to remember how special she is to me, it goes away.
That doesn't change the issues of our relationship being strained, and my initial annoyance with everything she does.