My life has gone in this direction?

38% Normal
2 Comments

So, I'm 22 and I'm autistic, and, I can't find a job, I know how this may sound but I have tried to be ambitious because I also lack a diploma, did I try, hell yeah, I mean I can't pass the math portion, I just can't, because of the stupid computer based system. I need classic highschool tutoring. My family wanted me to quit smoking weed so, I did, this has made things dramatically worse because winter here has dragged on and there has been no, sunlight. I literally can't see the bright side.

I have grown more and more bitter because people in this shit whole are just rude and think I'm crazy, I've been getting blackout drunk just to try and kill myself. My only talents are I can do incredible freestyles (seriously, I can rap) it's like a disorder. But, that doesn't mean shit in this crappy town that now I can never leave. I seriously am strong, I lift weights, I can walk or run at the speed of sound. It's just ruined my whole perception of everything, I feel like nobody gives a freaking fuck about me because the best job I ever had was at a grocery store. Fat cigarette break Jeremy was just like your bein let go and things never picked back up.

So, is it normal I've turned into this? I think I'm going crazy and I just wanna never breath again, I'm not drinking right now I'm just super eratic, because that's naturally me. To anyone wondering I was on anti phsycotics or depression meds or something. That was four years ago, the side affects were just like a numbing of my intelligence were I was sleepy and there was a time I couldn't pop a boner. So yeah, I don't know if it's normal or not, but I just wanna die. Because "high on life" is the worst feeling ever to me and drunk or sober people still treat me like I'm a tall peace of gutter trash or invisible.

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 16 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Don't give up life can change when you least expect it.

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  • Smokey1D
    7 years ago

    I don't think you're gutter trash - I'm hearing you when u say people.ignore you. I'm asd too!!
    We're just not naturally good communicators. You know how some people just seem to have the knack of getting attention in.a conversation and people hanging onto every word they say? Well, thats not us! BUT we're good at other stuff AND if you get into acting, you can lesrn how to ACT the part of a good communicator. Learn how to walk.and talk confidently - then people.listen. Learnt to like you, and others will too.
    Good luck - hope it gets better for you soon.

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