My kid doesn't love me anymore

62% Normal
18 Comments

I was a teenage mom, I had him when I was 13. His dad left me soon after.

I've taken care of him all by my own all these years, but recently my ex came back into the picture, he's been trying to get visitation rights, I don't want him in our family.

So in retaliation, he's been trying to break us apart, and I think he may have won.

I moved out of my parents' home at age 18, and have been trying to make it for the both of us all on my own, my relationship with them is not as great as I'd hoped for it to be.

So in order to get into college I was forced to become a stripper, I'm not too proud of it, but I had to do what I had to do , this eventually led me into the pornography industry, in order to get through college and pay the bills.

I have quit now, and tried my best to shield my son from this, which is why I do not know what to do since ex told him about my past, I don't know what all he's told him or showed him, but he's lost all respect for me, he won't even look me in the eye or speak to me, and he pushes me away whenever I try to hug him.

I don't know what to do about it, I can't even get him to go to a councilor, since he won't speak to me.
The worst part is that, it's not like he hates me outwardly, or is mean, he's disgusted and his anger is of the cold kind, he does everything I ask him and still does all his chores and homework, he's like the perfect child, but he doesn't show me any affection nor accept any love anymore.

I turned 28 recently, and am not sure how to deal with being a single parent, especially after I don't have anyone to lean on any longer.

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 13 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I'm confused, haven't you been a single parent for 15 years? "am not sure how to deal with being a single parent" What?
    As for his attitude, I'd sit the little shit down and ask him if he wanted for anything while you were struggling to raise him alone? Then explain the hard choices you had to make to see that he never wanted for anything. Perhaps remind him how his dad wasn't there to help him out. Do not cry or apologize.
    After that, give him time to think. Children can be just as cruel as bad parents, so be prepared for some heartbreak. Be strong.
    It may take some time, but he will come back to you, I'm sure.

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  • kelili
    8 years ago

    You have done what you can for him. Life is not easy for everyone- there are those who get it easy and others who are constantly struggling. He's fifteen and he's old enough to hear your story.
    My mum once told me that she had sacrificed to pay for my exams. What kind of sacrifice? I don't know. I just remember that we were damn broke at the time. For years I was convinced she had sex to pay it. Did I feel disgust? No! Never, I just thought that she really wanted me to succeed and would do anything for it. Lately she told me that she borrowed the money. But all the time I thought she had prostituted didn't make me love her less.

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    • R19
      8 years ago

      What did your mom say, when she found out you had thought that?

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      • kelili
        8 years ago

        I never told her what I thought she had done.

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        • R19
          8 years ago

          Will you, be telling her anytime soon?

          I want to know the reaction, it'll most likely be laughter.

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          • kelili
            8 years ago

            Surely! :V

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            • R19
              8 years ago

              Hooray!

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  • galloway
    8 years ago

    I understand where he's coming from, but it's from a very immature place, he's just a kid! Im guessing your ex told him half truths, or cast you in a darker light? I would say to be 100 percent honest with him. And reiterate that you love him because its clear that you do, and everythjng you did you did for him, but also to remind him its not his fault. He may have feelings, however big or small that he caused your actions and could be taking it out on you as well as his other feelings of general loathjng. I come from a mixed family and my dad was a drug addict and felon for years. My mom and his wife were so completely honest with me and I appreciate it so much because it's helped shape me and be more accepting. Compared to my dad who never told me anything, and sugar coated what he did. I cant imagin being raised by two parents who did that, because nothings worse than having someone lie or cover up when you know the truth or at least a version of it. Good luck!

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago

    My oldest kid has disinherited me, and asked that I never contact him again. It causes me great sorrow. I don't think anything can be done for either of us. God bless you.

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    • JM220
      8 years ago

      How can a child disinherit a parent, it's not you're the one getting the inheritance.

      A child can self emancipate, while you can disown a child.

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      • green_boogers
        8 years ago

        You're the one getting to see grandchildren, having the pleasure of their company at extended family events, giving gifts, and hearing about their lives. Your love and care is gone. You are forbidden to see them, or talk to them. It's exactly like they died.

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  • JM220
    8 years ago

    That's sad. I'm not sure what you can do, but I hear time heals all wounds, just continue being a good mom, and don't give up on trying to get close to him, he'll finally accept you, just needs to process all this I'm sure.

    Good Luck

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  • Scouselad
    1 year ago

    I can help you

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  • ucipher8
    8 years ago

    Im sure you sacrificed because you had to.

    If i were in your position, i'd write him a letter - one that i feel he would read. Let him hear your side of the story and your side only. I cant imagine he has absolutely no empathy for you, he might just be extremely confused suddenly and doesn't know where to direct his confusion, anger and frustration towards.

    He would otherwise hopefully learn over time that what you had to sacrifice yourself, was for a greater good.

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    8 years ago

    Sounds like you made your bed when you opened your legs at 13. The only thing you can do now is sleep in it.

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  • dirtybirdy
    8 years ago

    Why did you have a kid at 13 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Fell in with the wrong sort of crowd, and a series of bad decisions.

      But I'll never be sad about having my baby, I love him very much, which is why it hurts so much, now that he's completely shut him self out from me.

      He doesn't cause me problems, but he's extremely cold to me. It's like he doesn't love me anymore.

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      • dirtybirdy
        8 years ago

        Hopefully it's just a phase. He is a teenager after all. And that was pretty messed up of your ex to do that and tell the kid those things. I think it was for you to tell him if and when you felt it was necessary. Your son probably feels ashamed and maybe a little disgusted. I don't know :( Good luck mama.

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