My job is not important.
Have you ever felt like your job doesn't mean anything? I often want to join the infantry because: A. I feel like it means something to fight for your country B. It means something to watch your buddy's ass and make sure he doesn't get blown to bits, and C. I think I deep down hate myself and wouldn't mind if I got blown to bits myself. I'm just not suicidal. Since I'm in the National Guard that means I have to have a civilian job. They just don't cut it. I've done about every kind of work known to man. From plumbing, to waiting tables. I've even worked full time for the guard. I was in uniform every day. But it was a desk job. The guard just doesn't have any need for combat ready soldiers. But they do have a need for cooks which is what I've been trained to be. But cooks miss out on the combat training because we are cooking. I feel like I've been trained to fight and it's what I do best and I'm never allowed to do it. I even get in fist fights regularly. And I never pick fights with guys my size. I always take on the largest, meanest guys I can find and often get hurt or lose. But I just can't stop. All I want to do is fight. Is that normal?