My husband said he loses his erection because he was wasn't ready

If you're a person who habitually spends a lot of time in your own head, it can be difficult to get out of it and simply enjoy the sensual feelings of sex and be in the moment rather than constantly analysing and thinking forward and back.

What's going on with him has virtually nothing to do with how attractive or sexually desirable you are. This is about what's going on in his head, and most people find it difficult or impossible to control and direct their thoughts. One of the reasons erectile dysfunction due to psychological causes can be so difficult to treat is that once it happens, there's increased fear it will happen again and anxiety about that makes it more likely it will happen.

I suspect the doctor was right to give him medication to treat his ED, since being able to perform as he should be able to do a few times should reduce the anxiety and increase his confidence. He may intellectually know that he's capable of getting and sustaining an erection, but our brains are weird, and sometimes the hidden parts need to be shown that what the conscious parts know are true is indeed true.

The bottom line is that this is in no way your fault, and it's not his fault either. Many women believe that the normal state of men is to be in a constant state of lust and for them to get a rock-hard erection that lasts for hours at the glimpse of a bit of tit. Some guys are indeed just like that, but not all, and your husband is a bit past the constantly-horny teen years now.

Lots of guys find it extremely difficult to see a doctor about ED problems, but he's done that, so he seems to be very willing to do what he can to sort this out. While it's great that you've been taking the initiative and letting him know that you want him, it might be wise to cool your jets a little and back off just a bit.

I hardly ever drink these days and I think most people don't understand just how harmful alcohol can be, but I wonder if your husband drinking just enough to be slightly drunk might allow the hamsters running on those wheels in his head to fall off and stagger into a dark corner.

It's most likely your fault. A lot of things can affect erectile function. I have had this come up before. I said I liked her but she said "but I didn't see you getting hard" and it's like we were just talking geez, I don't get ready for action that quick no matter how sexy you are.

You should tell him to stop worrying about it and to just concentrate on bringing you to orgasm in other ways, fingers, oral, him use a vibrator on you, etc. Once he realises he can pleasure you in lots of other ways, he might just relax and enjoy it enough himself to actually have a sustainable erection. If not at least you will get to have a great time with plenty of orgasms.

To much focus on the dick.
You expect him to be hard.
you expect to just spread your legs and he should just be greatful to have the opportunity.
You just need to lay there right?
Wrong.
Dont use a vibrator that just numbs you.
Next time hes having issues.
take matters into your own hands.
literaly.
( assuming you arent fat )
Get totally clean, and masturbate in front of him.
fingers, ice cubes, hot dogs, carrots, just nothing to big.
If hes not joining in by round two.
Maybe hes frigid, or gay.

Let him prepare himself mentally for sex for now. He obviously wants it but you might have to let him follow his pace and see how that works.

Seems like he is just going to keep making excuses. Anxiety is a loop that no one can escape from until time says they are free now. What I am saying is fighting anxiety is what makes it worse, only thing you can do is do nothing.

Yeah, don't take this personally.

It's not you.