My husband's parents have forgotten they are parents

67% Normal
7 Comments

I recently got married into a warm loving family.
I love my husband and am quite close to his family.
He has an older sister who is also married and has 2 children.
And I' m not overly fond of them because I think they are spoilt by their parents, it's not the kids fault. I do try a bit but find them really spoilt and bossy so I can't see them often.
They aren't disciplined at all.

However, we moved cross country before we got married and were looking forward to some family time and time with his parents before the wedding.

However, we didn't get any time alone with his parents. All they were interested in is spending time with their grandchildren who they see every week anyway.
We arranged a catchup and whatever reason they didnt show, or try to make it up to us.

The morning of the wedding we asked them to control the kids at the wedding, as it's our moment. We don't want them running around. I honestly expected that they would get a babysitter.
But no, they didn't arrange a babysitter and our wedding dance became an upmarket kiddies party.
They are completely oblivious.

Before they left the following day we said we hadn't spent time together and his mother said that they do things as a family: as if she's forgotten that her own son is her family.
Everything is about the grandchildren, even my wedding.

I used to really like her before, and felt so close to her as my parents are dead.
But I honestly felt better off compared to my husband, whose parents are obsessed with their grandchildren and make us feel like we are on the periphery.

I don't want to talk to her for a while
and I feel like the whole family is like a cult worshipping those children.

Is this normal or am I overreacting?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 36 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • bristexai
    11 years ago

    It's curiousity. But I would never want to see a corpse.

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    • disthing
      11 years ago

      http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-that-i-kind-of-wish-i-had-seen-the-corpse-135213/

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    This sounds very normal to me. I never see my parents now that they have grandchildren. Their life revolves around them. My inlaws are the same way, the grandkids get all the attention. I never really saw a problem with it.

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  • Mando
    11 years ago

    You are probably spot on in your observations but what to do? I'd say step back. Be more concerned about how your husband feels and support him. Only if he feels the need to deal with his parents should that happen, and if so he should - not you. Just focus on your husband and accept that his parents are what they are and keep out of it.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    It's fairly normal but I understand. Your in-laws should have been more respectful of the fact that it is YOUR wedding, not a chance for the kids to cut up. It all starts in the home and those kids aren't being done any favors by being allowed to act however they want. I've seen kids like that grow up and step into the real world with these unreasonable expectations of what they should get and how they should get it and get cock-slapped in the face by the cold, hard penis of reality.

    But, what can you do? Just let it go, talk to your husband and respect his feelings and try not to become that wife that fights him every time he wants to visit his family or makes it an unpleasant experience by acting like a b*tch or complaining the whole time. It's tempting but don't do it. The kind of man that loves and respects his family is the kind of man that you want to keep.

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    • DaemonWolf
      11 years ago

      'cock-slapped in the face by the cold, hard penis of reality.'

      We should have awards for best quotes of the year... and this would win.

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  • Pilotjones
    11 years ago

    Thanks guys, I totally get it.
    I just thought since his parents hadn't seen him for 9 months and won't see him again for 2 years they'd be interested.
    There were no special moments for him from his parents, his mother didn't even tie his tie or put the flower in his lapel.
    Absolutely nothing.
    And when she left she was crying that she was going to miss us, and then we said you didn't spend any time with us.
    They didn't even give us a wedding present, they just piggybacked on his aunt and uncles present.
    I wanted to feel resentful but if they can't be bothered, why am I upsetting myself? Pointless

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