My husband isn't affectionate

62% Normal
2 Comments

Okay, so my husband and I have been married for two years and I just feel like he's changed a lot from how he used to be before we were married... I figured thats normal. The thing that bothers me though is that he isn't as affectionate or as romantic as he used to be. I'm the type of person who loves romance, I love being touched and I love surprises. He just doesnt do these things anymore. Its like I mention it to him and he becomes aggravated, saying "well im sorry im not good enough for you, and that I have to work all day and come home tired." Is it normal for me to want these things from him even though he does work very long hours to support me and our baby. I just feel like since I had the baby he doesn't really care for me anymore.

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 21 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    9 years ago

    I get him being tired and all and it's possible that he is frustrated that he has to go to work all day and then come home to an unsatisfied wife and a demanding baby (all babies are demanding). He probably feels like a workhorse and the demands are weighing to heavy on him for him to care anymore. You've probably been far less attentive toward him since the baby came along and that's understandable but you have to also take care of your marriage.

    I'd do the above suggestion to rekindle the romance. I know that motherhood is a thankless job and he doesn't know that it is also a struggle to spend all day at home with a demanding infant but you can't just make requests. You've gotta give him the ability to meet him halfway and put your share of the effort into maintaining the marriage. Make him a romantic dinner, massage with fancy oils, nice lingerie all in the package of random little surprises. It's amazing what small gestures like that can do for a relationship.

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Its normal to want them.

    You should really sit down and talk about your feelings and his feeling calmly.
    Let him know you miss this stuff but you understand how hard he works. So dont expect it all the time but you would enjoy an occasional suprise.

    Things dont have to cost a lot or take much effort. He could stop on his way home and grab you your fav treat. Or have a movie day planed for you two... just a relaxing at home movie with popcorn sounds nice.

    Now you need to pull your own weight too in the romance department. Its not all up to the guy.
    after a hard day at work offer a massage in some sexy underwear...after a nice massage for his shoulders and back you can move over to the front ;)
    Maybe cook him his fav meal... with his fav dessert.

    Once I left little notes all over for my bf to find. He went to grab a soda out of the fridge and on it a note saying "hey sexy"... on his headphones "I love you" and ect...

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