My husband is obese and balding and that's ok. iin?

78% Normal
19 Comments

He was 20 when I married him. Fit as a fucking fiddle, he was. Handsome too. 11 years later and now he's obese at 240lbs and has noticeable thinning hair and a couple almost bald spots.

He was crushed over the balding. I support him emotionally if he gets upset over it. The poor guy, last time I cut his hair I noticed the second balding spot and I didn't have the heart to tell him.

Thing is, I don't care. It doesn't bother me. I care about his health and his feelings and self-esteem but I am not at all bothered by his drastic decline appearance-wise.

Is it normal to be fine with a SO's loss of attractiveness? He's still attractive to me but I can't deny his outer appearance is drastically different. Most people I know don't seem to be OK with their SO changing for the worse appearance-wise. I've seen some treat the partner pretty awful too. Or just dump them or use it as an excuse to cheat.

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 37 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago | pl

    Its not normal unfortunately, which makes you an awesome wife. Hes a lucky man.

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    • Jeaneathean
      9 years ago

      Agreed.

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      • Karmasbitch
        9 years ago

        I agree with your opinion about agreeing.

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        • iEatZombies_
          9 years ago

          I'll second that.

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        • Jeaneathean
          9 years ago

          That's very agreeable.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Appearance matters, but relatively little in relation to character. If he's a good guy, that's all that really matters.

    Cheers!

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  • Jeaneathean
    9 years ago

    Of course it's okay.

    But why do you need validation here, with the greatest of respect?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I wondered if it was normal because I see lots of people react pretty bad to a decline in their partners attactiveness. Taunting, teasing, talking shit about it to others, using it as an excuse to cheat, dumping them over it, using it as a weapon in arguments. Things like that. I've heard some vile comments and awful jokes made at the expense of the "ugly" person. I wondered how important appearance really is to others. I wondered if it was normal to not be bothered by it in the slightest. Has anybody here had the experience of a partners physical decline and how did they handle it? Just wonderin', y'know?

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  • ilovetoiletrolls
    9 years ago

    I'd say it's perfectly normal to accept your husbands premature hair loss but not his obesity. People die of obesity for a reason. My uncle is obese and he is nearly dead from diabetes. If you care, you'll want him to get fit.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      From OP "I care about his health and his feelings and self-esteem but I am not at all bothered by his drastic decline appearance-wise."

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  • cuppycake1228
    9 years ago

    I've found that, after getting to know a guy who may not be society's idea of a dream man, he can become more physically attractive in my eyes. My current beau is 5'9" and 43 with a beer belly. He's certainly not the epitome of hot, but I find him insanely attractive. I think sexual chemistry helps here (which is something that can exist with or without an initial physical attraction). But yes, as someone else mentioned, I worry about your self-esteem if you need validation as to why you find your hubby attractive. For many women, attractiveness equates to kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, sexual prowess, etc. Sometimes the worst partners are the Ken dolls. So kudos to you, sister!!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I don't think I have self esteem issues. I think I posted this out of genuine curiosity of how others react to a drastic change in appearance. But what do I know? If I had issues I'd probably be unaware of it.

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      • cuppycake1228
        9 years ago

        I've been in a similar situation before, and while of course I preferred my ex BEFORE he gained weight, it didn't change much on my end. However, HE disliked his new appearance and became depressed, etc. How is your man handling the weight gain (you did mention the balding crushed him)? Is he open about it bothering him?

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  • RainbowDischarge
    9 years ago

    You're awesome.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    9 years ago

    This is not normal due to the fact that it's so rare for someone to be fine with their partner's physical appearance "going down the crapper" as some of the people I know have said. I've seen married couples break up over it and it's kind of sad to see it happen. But anyway, you're a wonderful person to still love him and be okay with it happening, OP.
    :)

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  • ramek
    9 years ago

    There are good medicines that stop "male pattern balding" like - proscar, avodart.

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