My hugging/kissing friend makes me uncomfortable.

56% Normal
6 Comments

I'm a 28 year old woman and I have this older male friend who used to be a coworker. I'm still really cool with him, we see each other around town and sometimes he shops at my new job. Every time he sees me though he'll give me a big hug and *cringe* a kiss on the neck. I know this sounds totally creepy but I don't think he intends it to be; his whole character is one of platonic friendliness and he's just really fond of me because I used to help him out a lot at our job. He's NEVER hit on me or asked to hang out outside of work so, I don't think the kiss thing is meant to be frisky, I think it's something he probably does with everyone. But it does make me uncomfortable. He even did it once at the library when I was there with my boyfriend, and my boyfriend was understandably put off by this old bearded guy giving me a big hug and a kiss on the neck lol.

How do I let my friend know that this makes me uncomfortable without hurting his feelings? How should I phrase it so that it's not awkward? He's a terribly nice guy and I don't want to make it seem like this is something that's been bothering me a long time (which it has.)

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 27 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    A kiss on the cheek is okay as a greeting, but on the neck no so much.

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  • howaminotmyself
    8 years ago

    You know this sounds creepy. How do you know that? The older I get, the more kisses I exchange with my male friends, and female friends for that matter. It's never creepy, just affection. If you dont want it, just tell him. But since you didn't immediately, it will likely be offensive regardless of intent.

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  • MAKEYASQUIRT
    8 years ago

    jUST SAY, YA KNOW IF i WAS ATTRACTED TOU OTHER THAN A FRIEND, i WOULD LET YOU TAKE ME OUT.

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  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    It's not a normal thing to me. Nobody I know kisses like that when they greet people. You keep it real and tell him what you've told us. You say, "Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but this really makes me uncomfortable." I think he'll get the message.

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  • VinnyB
    8 years ago

    You said that you think it is probably something he does with everyone. I feel like if you worked with him and see him from time to time, you might know. I mean haven't you seen him interact with other people? If so, have you seen him to it with other people? If not, it may be more than you think.

    Either way, if you want him to stop he should. I agree with Ellenna above. If you don't want to take responsibility, you can also scapegoat your boyfriend by saying it made your bf uncomfortable so you think it's best if he just stop so no one gets the wrong idea. But I'm a bigger fan being an adult and being honest.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    What's your question? Is it normal that he does this or is it normal you don't like it?

    What's wrong with giving him a friendly smile and saying "Please don't do that"? If he hasn't already picked up that it makes you uncomfortable he's either very insensitive or you're not letting him know your feelings with body language: stepping back when he approaches, for example.

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