My "girlfriend" in love with me and another guy? (kinda long story)

16 Comments

Don't bother answering/leaving a comment if you don't want to read the whole thing...

Ok so in 7th grade (a few years ago) I met this girl named Zhane', she also goes by Nani. Anyway we would always hug and stuff and by 8th grade we both liked each other. Since around the same time she has had this friend from another state that she met on some website. At this time, she was not going out with him (and they never have gone out) but they both loved each other. This is the reason she told me we couldn't go out. They would talk all of the time, all night long. Text and calls, and they even video chatted a lot i think. Also some other little sexual things like phone sex and sexting. But at the beginning of 9th grade, Nani started cutting herself because Ivan (the guy from another state shes in love with) told her that he loved her but didn't need her. They both have some mental issues so they can relate to each other and help each other. Before this she would text me pretty often about him and her home problems, but after this it was NON STOP every single day. Ivan this, Ivan that. Really super long texts and suicidal texts/calls. Don't get me wrong, i really didn't mind too much and i was scared/concerned for her. I did my best to help her through and talk to her a lot. All the while she says "i love you" to me, and i felt the same. So we were in love, and she loved him. She was (and still is) unsure of exactly how he feels about her.

*Sorry for such a long story*

Anyway, she has soooo many problems and i feel horrible that i can't help her more. But besides that, she always talks about him. Barely asks about me (which i don't mind since i don't like to talk about myself to anyone). She says that she only lives for others, and to make them happy. If it weren't for all the promises she's made to people, she wouldn't be alive.

More recently she asked me out. Before this, since a few months ago, we have held hands and kissed a lot. But after she asked me i was so happy and said yes, (we had been debating going out for a looong time). Then she said it would only be for 2 weeks, just to see how things went. Well, 2 weeks went by and now i have no idea if she even still likes me. I barely see her at school, only at lunch. And her phone is broken so we can't text. I know i can't give up on her, because im one of her best friends and care about her more than my own life. Ivan now has a girlfriend, but shes still not over him. They fighit a lot.

To top it off, she's going out with a girl named Jessica, and she didn't put any time limit on that. So, wtf? Advice? Opinions? Thanks! and really sorry it was so long...

She needs a friend, it doesn't matter how she feels about you 22
If she doesn't love you only, then it's not worth it 33
Other (Leave a Comment) 7
Stop being friends with her, that's fucked up 33
Give her a chance, maybe she'll get over him someday 14
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Comments ( 16 )
  • IXMugenXI
    13 years ago

    My Friend.., Frankly what i see is just another minor sight of Young love "puppy love" if you may, what i'm about to say is a suggestion you can and don't have to take it.
    open your eyes and take in reality the signs, Though you understand her severe situation, from what you wrote seems she is lonely and switching from men to men, life is what you make it. don't dwell in the past, better yourself and somthing better will come along, so for time being, friends is a good thing. but nothing else.
    good Luck
    Muggen

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  • wigsplitz
    13 years ago

    Um she doesn't sound like a very good friend, let alone a good girlfriend. I think she's dicking you around big time. I doubt her phone is broken either, that's the polite way of telling someone "don't call me". She brushed you off I think.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    Other:

    You already know she has mental issues.

    You should not be romantically involved unless those issues have been addressed, or you'll be getting into the same issues she already has.

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  • Princessandthepea
    13 years ago

    You are such a DOOR MAT

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  • anomaly3642
    13 years ago

    I agree with Fullhouse.
    I think that this girl is just a drama/ attention whore.
    First off when it comes to your heart/feelings you need to be selfish. Yes consider others feelings, but you should never be unhappy or hurt because of someone else. She doesn't love you, and maybe one day she will but, I dont think you should cling to that hope. That Ivan guy never loved her. He jsut became obsessed with the notion of having someone pay attention to her all the time. She liked that notion that someone somewhere else was always thinking of her and sending her texts and pics. And now if she's going out with Jessica, then either she genuinly likes her and puts you on the back burner for when jessica messes up. or once again she just likes the attention.
    You will find someone else, someone who likes you and just you. You are young, and smarter than this. Be a friend if she needs it, but never put her first. Go find a date have fun for yourself. If she trys to call you or text you during this ignore it. she just wants to steal your attention.

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  • dafattyfat
    13 years ago

    ... She's a lesbo.

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  • norm
    12 years ago

    MOVE ON. This one is over. Everyone but you seems to know it.

    But don't be upset, at your age if it lasts over a month you've had a good run.

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  • isaactaruma23
    12 years ago

    wow, i read ALL your story. i repeat it 2 time!
    listen oh my dear, forget about her! she is not worth it anymore!! get some girls! theres so many fish in sea, dont make fun with one that catched!

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  • alessa
    13 years ago

    My first guess is that she used you to feel better about herself and her problems. She even gave you an expiration date, come on, in her head it seems it's over.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    it hink youre just a rebound to her cause she's like always talking about this ivan guy so ill say get over her......

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  • Malice27
    13 years ago

    sorta went through the same thing I was dating a guy who I liked but I was in love with his cousin...in the end I went with the cousin and even though it lasted only two years it was great.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Watch out, I think I can't help you

    http://www.nfljerseys32.com/

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  • fullhouse
    13 years ago

    Been there dude but believe you wont be able to forget her but she will never care for you..Dosent matter how many emotional times you spent together she will only look at you when she needs a shoulder to cry on..Move on,look for someone who cares for you and you can care for.Believe me she will continue to exist and its not only because you that she's alive :-P When next time she comes to you (Which i feel she definately will) then tread carefully coz its not in your interest

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  • -Smoke-
    13 years ago

    i think this is rather sweet that u care for her this much , but you have to let her go if she is still inlove with the other guy and you have a girlfriend stick to your girlfriend just dont deadicate so much time to Nani , im sure your girlfriend can see that you are worryed about Nani but your gf ovi wants to be with you and if love nani end it with jessica , cause its not fair on both of them and i think Nani is messing you around if she loved you she would have dithced the other guy ages ago so basically i think she is using you as a shoulder to cry on about her love problems :/
    Chin upp concentrate on Jess :D

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    13 years ago

    Thanks guys for all the advice...
    @dafattyfat - she is bisexual
    @IXMugenXI - I agree, being friends is the best option right now and thank you
    @amira1295 - I really should tell her how i feel, it's just hard becuase i dont want to hurt her more than she already is by life
    @wigsplitz - I know for sure her phone is broken because I've seen it but i know where you're coming from

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  • amira1295
    13 years ago

    Get her to meet you in private and tell her straight up that if she doesnt stop jerking you around then its over. "I cant be JUST friends with you. If you dont understand how i feel for you after all this time, then i cant be around you." Something of that effect to get it through her head. Also, try to tell her how her actions have made you feel.

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