My gf has a kid by her stepdad

Step dad or step dads friend, well what is it?

You sound like a nice, caring guy, who's being taken for a ride. Unfortunately, that often happens to nice guys. (I speak as someone whose wife had a daughter ten months after we married, and who I only realized years later could not possibly be mine.)

So what end-game are you aiming for?

Given what you say about your girlfriend, I assume she'd want to keep the kid just to get child support, even if she doesn't really care much for him.

I have no idea what the law is where you live, but if you wanted custody because you feel you'd be the better parent, then you'd have to prove that to a court. Your name on his birth certificate would count for something, but it has to be said that a lot of places assume that mothers are endowed due to their gender with parental super-powers that always make them the better choice. You also need to ask if you really would be capable of looking after the kid as a single parent.

Frankly, the law on custody and support is so muddled and fucked up that I would not be at all surprised if she and her boyfriend would be able to claim custody because they're genetically the kid's parents, while you'd be hit with child support payments because your name is on the birth certificate.

Obviously, you also have the choice to stay with her, ignore her fooling around and stay with the kid. This sort of arrangement isn't talked about much, but you can be damn sure you wouldn't be the first to do this.

Apart from her infidelity, are you getting what you need from your relationship? Is she reasonably content to be with you, or is she just using you as a meal ticket? Does she care about you at all?

You talk about maintaining the secrecy of the child's genetic father. Why is this important to you? Is it because you're ashamed of being infertile? Is it because you live in a community where you'd be mocked for being a cuckold? In the grand scheme of things, is either of those worth worrying about?

I believe every child has the right to know who their real parents are by the time they hit 16 or so. If nothing else, it stops them from acting on attraction they might feel for secret half-siblings or other near relatives. I think it would be very unfair to the boy to try to keep his parentage secret forever.

If he grows up with you, then you will always be his dad and very important to him, but he needs to know the truth, sooner or later.

This is surely a troll post
No one in the world could be stupid enough to let his gf have a baby with another man and not see what could happen, I hope.

Woman I'm dating, for the second go-round, was molested/raped by an uncle years ago, had the baby, and gave her up for adoption. Still a sensitive subject with her this many years later. If you're involved with this woman, tread lightly on that subject. Damn, we were having dinner one night, and she just came out with "I can't believe I have a daughter out there somewhere" (she does know who adopted the girl, but hasn't heard a thing in many years).

Could have adopted instead.
Let your gf fuck the other dude just because you wanted a baby there are so many ways but this was just stupid

what you have to do is try to be a father for the kid that his own biological father can't be. he will grow up and come to respect you for being in his life if you can show that you genuinely care about him, regardless of how you might feel about his mother. you'll be the stepdad if you still have a relationship with her by then, if not then you have nothing to worry about. and you absolutely don't have to pay child support or anything if the boy is not related to you.

So she's screwing other guys. What's the big deal?

Do you love her, or do you love the idea of a relationship? The kid is not yours biologically and because she has no problem meeting up with other guys, I would be worried. If you are having doubts now, It's only going to get worse.

How did she get the kid , sperm injection or is she fucking that guy in the motels