My friends got a crush on a guy but still loves her boyfriend

24 Comments

My friend is dating a guy she really really likes him but, theres this other guy whos her best friend. She likes him 2 and he likes her back and has asked her out several times knowing she has a boyfriend. They both treat her well but her and her bf do fight alot but its over petty things and they always make up she loves both guys and doesnt know what to do im trying to help but i suck at relationship stuff her boyfriend nick would b crushed if she left him and is really jelous of her crush dagon and i honestly dont blame him but its causing fights and shes upset and doesnt know what to do and neither do i. Any advice is helpful. She cant tell who she likes more i told her to listen to her heart and she said "i can't its not helping my hearts saying i like them both" soooo halp

Stay with the boyfriend 10
Date her crush and loose the boyfriend 4
Neither 5
Other 2
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Comments ( 24 )
  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Neither.

    Her boyfriend doesn't deserve to be with someone so indecisive. However, if she's not going to let this poor guy go, then she should work harder on the relationship and herself.

    As for the other guy, never trust a person who is willing to charm another out of a relationship. It shows that this person doesn't have any respect for you or your boundaries, and he's being selfish with putting his desires first instead of leaving the unavailable person alone.

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    • Therights
      8 years ago

      This is very good

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  • (s)aint
    8 years ago

    If she had really loved her boyfriend she would not have been messing about with this other guy. She should stay single.

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  • Cocomilktitties
    8 years ago

    If she can't make up her mind, then she shouldn't be with either in my opinion. It's not the same if you have a relationship with someone that could just as easily be replaced with a relationship with someone else. If she doesn't feel strongly enough about either guy, then she shouldn't be dating either. Plus, she is probably hurting both guys right now and that's not fair.
    I know her bf would be crushed if she broke up with him... but I think that it would be very hard to salvage the relationship at this point if he already knows that she's really into this guy. I mean she should talk to him about it and see how hurt he is by it, but if she can't decide... then it's not fair to keep doing this.

    I should add though that if she is going to pick one, she should probably pick the bf because the other guy is a dick for asking her out when she has a bf... that says not so good things about his character.

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    • Sunfur
      8 years ago

      I figured as much and we know shes hurting him but shes trying to do damage control and failing she doesnt want to leave her bf and desnt want to hurt either guy hes trying to b understanfing abd give her time to choose but shes struggleing and she doesnt want 2 hurt either

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      • Cocomilktitties
        8 years ago

        My guess is that her bf is probably trying to be "understanding" but it's only because he really, really likes her. But I can almost promise you guys that it is hurting him a lot a lot a lot.
        If she keeps taking time to decide, it's probably going to end one of three ways:
        1. She ends up with no one because they both move on.
        2. She ends up with her bf, but her bf is so hurt by this that he can't forget it and it might cause more relationship problems.
        3. She ends up with the friend... who is disrespectful and might like who knows how many other girls.
        so... she's really just screwing herself over right now by waiting. She shouldn't worry about hurting the other dude because he was disrespectful in the first place by asking her out and stuff... unless she really like flirted with him big time, then maybe it's also her fault. But it sounds like it's his problem, so don't worry about him as much.
        You put it as her "liking both of them so much" but when you REALLY like someone, it's an easy choice and you pick them over any one else. She can probably still make it work with her bf, but she will need to really show him that he's special to her because what she is doing now is almost cheating. She's doing a lot of damage to her relationship. Her bf sounds like he likes her and the fact that he's trying to be "understanding" means a lot. I personally think she should pick him and try and fix what she has broken (as long as he's not a dick or anything)... but she can't keep doing this. Not even for a day longer. Every day makes it worse. If she can't choose, she needs to cut her losses and pick neither.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    What's she got that these guys like about her?
    She obviously has no morals and couldn't care less who she hurts, as long as she has fun. 100% trailer trash, IMO.

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    • 53739
      8 years ago

      your just mad cuz you can't get laid in your mother's basement

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        Uh, I guess you haven't heard, I'm married. Dumb fucking asshole. And when I wasn't I didn't have to get it from a family member. Only fucking losers who can't get it elsewhere fuck family.
        As for the basement gag, you really are way behind the times, Move on, you are just a boring unobservant asshole now. Look at the pic again, Does that look like a basement to you? You stupid fuck!

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        • charli.m's_Constant_Period
          8 years ago

          Sorry to interrupt your heart-to-heart convo, but this site is for losers. I'm a loser, he's a loser, and so is everybody else here. It is easy to assert your superiority in the presence of losers. But, if you could have high quality successful friends, you would.

          You should try to be a better man. Try to make friends with high quality people without pissing them off. You will never find a high quality person in a place like IIN.

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          • thegypsysailor
            8 years ago

            Bullshit! There are plenty of decent, open, generous and kind people on this site. They just don't get involved in the ugliness those like you and I seem to interact with.
            You are right, I should try to rise above the baiting the cretins insist in provoking on IIN, but for me it's entertaining to be able to let loose at someone I know I'm not hurting.
            As for 'high quality', just how do you gauge someone's quality? To what standard do you hold people?
            And about the 'better man' bullshit. I am not on here because I need idolization or the approval of anyone on here. I try to help those I feel have a problem I can address or have posted something that actually is of consequence.
            The rest, I call them as I see them, and if y'all don't like that, well then get me banned. I'm not needy enough to come slithering back with a new screen name, like the many loser troglodytes who really do live in mommy's basement.

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            • charli.m's_Constant_Period
              8 years ago

              Wow. Didn't expect you to get so angry. I don't object to any of your comments. And I am surprised after berating the losers here, that you would think any of us are decent, generous, or kind.

              I do notice that you enjoy being a big fish in a small pond. It's sort of amusing actually. Lol.

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    • Sunfur
      8 years ago

      1 thats mean and very untrue shes trying to avoid hurting either guy and thats y we made this post to get advice

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        If someone is in a relationship, the ONLY honorable thing to do is break it off with that person BEFORE going out with someone else.

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  • shuggy-chan
    8 years ago

    So in reality "your friend" is you right

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    • Sunfur
      8 years ago

      Me and my bf have been going strong for 1 year and 7 months no issues r problems lol

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    • Sunfur
      8 years ago

      No its acctually my friend

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  • Therights
    8 years ago

    This may sound a bit cheesy but maybe your friend should make a list.. One with her boyfriends name on it, one with Dagon's name, and one with her name (her name meaning if she were single). On each list she should write the benefits of each and then the things that don't benefit her on each. She may come to find out she would be a lot happier single.

    It sounds to me as if she should take some time to herself to reavaluate who she is. Relationships can make one lose sight of that.

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  • offtopic
    8 years ago

    I was in that same situation not that long ago, and I chose my best friend over my boyfriend. it was an extremely hard decision to make, and it took some time for the guilt it caused to pass, but I don't regret my decision at all

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  • indiangirl
    8 years ago

    and I think you should stay single.... you are cheating them both.. :P

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  • indiangirl
    8 years ago

    if she really loved her bf she would not have went out with the other guy..... I think she is not fully committed in her relationship. .. if you really love him, be honest with him and don't cheat him.

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