My fiance wants to live in a house with the homeless crowd.

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17 Comments

My fiance of 5 years has to move from his current apartment. He has a history of wanting to live in the cheapest place, no matter the quality. He has enough money to live somewhere else, he just hates to spend it on rent. When he was in his twenties he lived in a shack without running water for $40 a month! But he is older now, and no longer in the college crowd.

He wants to move to a highly visible trailer house on a really busy road. He would be 20 feet from a 4 lane road where cars are whizzing by at 50 mph. He has insomnia, and is high strung and I worry the place would make him crazy. I feel it will make more problems for him. He will live next door to two people, each of which have severe mental health issues.

My problem is I would like to be with a man who has more respect for himself, and treats himself with care. I would like him to avoid problems rather than make problems for himself.

Is this normal? Or do you think I am being too controlling? Should I break it off with him?

Voting Results
30% Normal
Based on 37 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • dom180
    9 years ago

    Sounds like you two have fundamentally different visions for your future, with the only thing in common being that you want it to be with each other. I don't think that is enough in common, because it means one of you will have to compromise a hell of a lot. Sometimes things like this are deal-breakers. You've mentioned breaking up with him a couple of times, which makes me think you want us to tell you that it's okay to break up with him over this. I think it is okay to break up with him over this.

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  • (.)(.)boobies
    9 years ago

    If you're going to be living together your input on where the two of you are going to live is important and deserves equal consideration. But how you describe this situation, it's as if the you two of you are not living together now and won't be after he moves. You can express your concern for his well-being, but where he wants to live is up to him and it's disrespectful to force your expectations on him.

    Other than the health hazards (increased risk of lung disease and cancer) due to living beside a busy road, he should be fine. The traffic noise might not bother him, for some people it's a comforting white noise. And as for his potential neighbors, mental health issues are not contagious. Plus, it sounds like he's accustom to different sorts of people and he can probably handle himself if they presented any problems.

    I think there's a lot of positives to be said for your fiancé's frugal attitude towards living. You agreed to marry him knowing he is like this, why would you want to change him now? Is it possible your resistance to his decision is your instincts telling you he's not the man you want to marry?

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  • Jaydods39
    9 years ago

    I'm the Same..I'm cheap as a jeep! But wouldn't live that close to the highway sounds too dangerous...

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  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    I would break it off and find someone that cares about his living conditions if I were you.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Sounds like a real loser to me. I think you should rethink your upcoming nuptials with this cheapskate, or you might be raising your children under an overpass.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Put on your athletic shoes and run. Run fast and far away! He's not marriage material, imagine if you had children, imagine all those poor children would have to do without.

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  • gorillaphant
    9 years ago

    5 year engagement? Sounds like you will never actually be married. Which is fine. But you should probably come to terms with that. Because this living situation of his does not sound like it includes you, or your opinion on where you want to live. And I'm all for changing tradition, but traditionally, couples live together after a certain point.

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    9 years ago

    Why can't you just accept him for who he is instead of trying to change him?.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I don't want to change him. But I don't want to be in relationship with someone that puts himself in situations that are not good for him or me. So I guess I should break it off with him.

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      • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
        9 years ago

        If it's a life partner your looking for confide in him not us. Im sure with your combined income you could find suitable accommodations for the both of you. However If your looking for a hand out a man to "take care of you" then he is owed the truth before he wastes himself trying to please someone he can't.

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  • paramore93
    9 years ago

    There is nothing wrong with that .. I kind of respect him for it .. sensible with his money .. you dont need a big house and perfect neighbours to live a great life .. if you love him just make sure you are there for him and support him .. you never know he might hate it and move somewhere else :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I don't want him to have a big house, but there is a happy medium. There are other places available for about the same price, it is not as if it is all he can do.

      He will not move somewhere else if he doesn't like it, I know him. He likes to let his freak flag fly, and live as cheaply as he can. Once he is there he will stay for at least a year. So I guess I should break it off with him.

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      • paramore93
        9 years ago

        Unless there are other issues you have not mentioned and his living arrangements are the only problem in your relationship breaking it off with him would be crazy ..

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  • karlden
    9 years ago

    Remember.... we teach people how to treat us. Dump the cheap bastard (or crazy guy whichever comes first) and run. This is not about HIM. It's about what you'll put up with. Ask yourself, how would he feel if his decisions put you in the path of physical harm with homeless people in a trailer?

    Cut and run sister. Do better for YOURSELF!

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  • poon_jabber
    9 years ago

    WTH don't marry this guy.. if you do you will regret it!

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    let him live where he wants doesnt mean he has to be your boyfriend tho

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  • Faceless
    9 years ago

    yeah, the third world is crazy.

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