My family minimizes abuse i went through

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12 Comments

I have mild borderline personality disorder and had entitlement and anger issues with my family in the past..
I recently broke up with my narcissist boyfriend who I was with for three years and recently lived with in another city for 6months. I was severely emotionally and physically abused (constantly gaslighted,steals my money, cheated on, punches my head til i get knocked out, kicks me in the back, choking etc..) but my anger outbursts that triggered him were justified and any person in my position would have lost their mind with him. Now I have ptsd and my aggression(and other mental problems) got worse but my family doesn't acknowledge the impacts it had on my brain and that my issues and behavior today are because of that. They don't really see things through a scientific viewpoint and it really sucks:(

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Based on 6 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Find a good therapist, go to Codependents Anonymous meetings, also look for a support group for abuse survivors. Your family can't give you what you need as far as validation, because they haven't had the same experiences as you. I hope you had him arrested.

    Check out this website:
    http://coda.org/

    I also highly recommend that you read a book called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago

      Good advice!

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        Thanks.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thanks:)

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        You're very welcome.

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        • rayb12
          6 years ago

          Codependency is a separate issue from NPD/BPD relationships

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          • RoseIsabella
            6 years ago

            Yes, but it's often part of those relationships, and unhealthy relationships in general.

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  • AntiArchon
    6 years ago

    So sorry for what you had to go through. Try to educate your family on the impact of abuse on the brain and how it still affects a person's psyche and behavior even long after it happened. (specially if the person already had mental issues prior to the abusive relationship).
    There are a lot of scientific research and articles to back that up. You have BPD so it's gonna be hard to keep cool but remember, explain, don't rage and freak out.
    If they still disregard the facts after, then there's probably something wrong with them too.
    You should find somebody who will understand asap, a close friend or better yet a therapist if you can afford one. Feeling alone and misunderstood will only do more damage to your mental health. Good luck.

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  • Dustyair
    6 years ago

    It's normal that families and or parents don't want to take the blame. Instead they blame the victim.

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  • TerriAngel
    6 years ago

    Shit happens.
    Deal with it.
    Then move on, and don't be shitty towards others.

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  • YepItsNormal
    6 years ago

    narcissistic parents often befriend and seem to be pals with abusive ex's. So if your parents are minimizing your experiences they may also be likely to do that. then you'll be well aware of why you picked this guy in the first place. Because of the way your parents made you feel. kick that idea around.

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  • onaplane
    6 years ago

    Victim blaming is in no way okay

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