My family lean on me so much and im bending under the pressure

22% Normal
7 Comments

Im 18 and i support my family a lot more than i think i should. My dad and brothers are out of jobs and are constanly asking me for money that i never get back, they are never shy to ask but im always shy to say no. i dont mind helping them out sometimes but they call me every week wanting money and sometimes spend it on weed to smoke then ask me for more money for food or electric, i also support my mum a lot of the time because she's in a lot of debt and so i get the shopping in and pay the bills such as electric and give her money for petrol etc like i said i dont mind helping out my family but sometimes i thinks they take advantage. can anyone relate to this, please i need some advice

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 37 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • HeavyHitterIOWA
    11 years ago

    You got to do what you think is right, I am under the same pressure, its not healthy, I got to find a away to get this pressure away from me

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  • baby.girl
    13 years ago

    *don't

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  • baby.girl
    13 years ago

    That sounds like what my step sisters did to my step dad....just dint give em the money!! They'll learn eventually!!! Whn they're starving theyll get jobs n grow up...gosh ppl like that annoy me...no offense:)

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  • zombie_queen_86
    13 years ago

    they are taking advantage.. to be HONEST U NEED TO BREAK AWAY FROM THEM... MY SISTERS ARE LIKE THAT TOO... I BROKE AWAY FROM THEM AND NOW THEY DONT ASK FOR SHIT

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  • beatriz05
    14 years ago

    SAY NO! they need to learn to be responcible. Its great that you are loving and willing to help but that is not normal for them to be doing that.
    "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime"

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    They are taking advantage of you and will continue to do so as long as you allow it. I can see them asking you for money for groceries or a bill if they are really in a bind, with a promise to pay it back. But asking you for money for weed is seriously pathetic coming from a parent.

    I don't know where you live or what kind of employment opportunities there are in your area, but your father and brother are just being lazy. If they are low enough to sit around on their ass begging for money from you to buy pot, then no job is too low for them, in my opinion. I can't believe a father would ask for money in this manner from his 18-year-old son whom he should instead be encouraging to save money for the future, for a new car, for a house, etc.

    Don't feel shy to say no. I know they're your family and you love them, but if they don't understand, they're not worth your time. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you and there comes a time when you have to worry about you. Once you say no, it will be much easier to say no the following times. You are not doing them any favors by condoning this lifestyle. Number one, you can't support them forever and number two, you shouldn't have to. Don't be their doormat: they're not asking you for money because they love you, they're asking you for money because they know they can take advantage of you.

    Say no and walk away. Their life is their responsibility just as your life is yours.

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  • Simply_Abnormal
    14 years ago

    Seems like your relations and love for them is causing you to become their personal doormat, it is not your responsiblity at 18 to provide for them, pluck the courage up and tell them no, you owe them nothing..

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