My ex friend is having an affair with a married woman. should i tell

say nothing and walk away from the mess

If the husband was a friend of yours, then I think you should tell him.

...But since he's a stranger, I really don't know :/

You must tell him, but do it by anonymous letter.

You really need to consider your own motivation for telling her husband, and see if you could live with your conscience if it all blew up in your face. For example, if he killed the wife and kids.

I agree with radiatelove - I have known occasions where they shoot the messenger.

Stay out of this for as long as you possibly can. It will all come out in the wash eventually, without your help.

i've been in this situation. long story short, friend told the cheating victim what their spouse was doing and all that happened was that the cheater stopped talking to the person who snitched them out. the cheater and their spouse stayed together, even though the cheater would stray every once in a while. All that happened was that the victim was now aware of this and the snitch had two less friends. Is what your ex-friend doing moral and appropriate? Not at all. But unless you know EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of what goes on in the woman's relationship with her husband (not the cheater) I wouldn't open my mouth. He's gonna find out eventually, you can bet on that. & if there's kids involved that's only more incentive to not say anything. Telling on them would be a huge ball to drop on that family and yes, she is making a mistake by doing what she is doing and it is very wrong but it is no one's place to get involved and tell on them. This situation is already messy enough as it is for the cheater, her unaware spouse, and your ex-friend, more people don't need to be dragged into it.

No one likes a rat. At the end of the day they are both adults who can do what they want and it's none of your fucking business.

Once again why is it that all the people that say "tell him" got tons of thumbs down and the people that are saying "mind your own business" got so many thumbs up? Its ridiculous. Sooo okay then...since you don't want her to tell the husband and to "stop poking her nose" then I'm guessing if it was you in his shoes you'd want the same thing? Get the fuck out.

Tell him because thats what you would want someone to do for you.

I understand that its not affecting you directly but its stupid shit like this when people are like: "Don't rat" or "Don't snitch" that leaves the world in a fucking selfish spiral. Its breaking up the little sense of the community the world does have. But keep in mind the husband may not believe you.

Nah it's best to not get into it. It's probably better he doesnt know, you do not know the situation between them all so its better you stay out of it. You may think you're helping if you do, but you could just be causing harm. If its meant to be, he will found out another way. Also keep in mind how this would affect the kids?

The response and reaction after he finds out could be completely different if he found out on his own than if you told him.

If he found out on his own he would have time to process what it is he's actually feeling. He would be able to make his own decision on whether or not he could forgive her. Whether or not he could ever trust her again. Etc. He would know because he would have seen it with his own eyes and witness true betrayal.

However, if you told him he may not believe you at first, but then start to doubt everything she says and does. Later regret for not trusting her and then he'll really start to feel like shit. Then comes the big explosion. Once he witnesses the truth, he will feel even worse. Betrayal. A broken heart. Anger towards not only her, but himself for not believing you at first and letting himself go through that hell of suspicion. Who know's what his decision can lead to then.

Honestly, you, your ex, his lover, and her husband are all better off letting this take it's own course. He's your ex. It's none of your business. Plus meddling in someone else's business rarely ends well on either end. Try to stay out of it.

Wouldnt tell, at first it is in fact none of your business but at the same time don't make other peoples problems your own. Won't get you any further in the end

If I found strangers on the street cheating on their spouse I wouldn't find the other spouse and tell them because I wasn't asked about what I saw.

I think in your case, it is kind of the same, even though you used to be connected to someone in the incident, I don't believe you should tell the husband. Until someone asks you about what you know, then, and only then, should you tell.

Tell him then run the fuck away. Get out of that shit as fas as possible.

unless u know the wife and husband, say nothing because it's none of your business. or if you do then either the husband gets pissed at you making him think you're lying or he believes you and you two become best buds for all eternity lol

Yeah, just tell the husband. Cheaters fucking suck!

yeah, I'd wanna know.

fuckin hate cheaters.

In my heart, I'd say tell the husband. I'd wanna know. If he's able to catch them, it can bring some closure.

Second, her kids don't need to be around that crap - and hopefully the husband would win custody since she can't keep her legs closed.

Last, I'd be weary to tell the husband.....because he might have an adverse reaction and go on a killing spree...and that's just not healthy.

Your choices are:
Tell the husband.
Blackmail the couple for awhile - then tell the husband
Ignore it all together

It's none of your business

leave an anonymous message somehow?

None of your fucking business bitch.

You said it if you were in the husband shoes what would you want thats your answer

piss off you git

I'd say....

give him a choice

1) He stops engaging in adultery
2) He or she confesses
3) You tell the husband.

if he complains... well so what. he has no right to complain. That's just his ego whining.

Blackmail him!

Keep quiet! His life, his choice. Nobody likes a rat!

I'd highly suggest M.Y.O.B.!

Just like I tell all the our seasonal clowns at work... Don't worry about what the other guy is doing, just worry about yourself. I don't want to hear about anyone else unless it is potentially putting people in harm's way or if what they are doing is illegal.

At the end of the day, you are the only one that matters to you and your family. Others don't matter.

Don't get involved in other people's personal lives unless they ask you to and even then... be very wary.