My daughter wont stop lying

She's 18 now tell her you would throw her out on the streets if she doesn't follow your rules

I think you have handed her too much and given her too much freedom all at once. It may be time to take some of that away and let her earn it back as she earns your trust. She's going to hate it, but you have to be firm if you want to get the message through to her. I'm sorry to seem blunt, but since I'm typing on this dreadful phone I want to keep it short. I'll pick this back up when I get to the computer. In the mean time, please consider what I said.

Isn't 71 considered mentally retarded?

You're a really good parent, I would het really pissed at her and give up on her.

Consult a therapist. Preferably, a family one. There might be something deeper to this than appears on the surface.

What do you mean your daughter who is almost 18 just moved in with you? Did you just adopt a 17 year old? Or it was just a long lost daughter that lived with her grandparents or something?
You're giving her too many privileges. Take some of it away , until she has shown responsibility.

this sounds very normal. i lie to my parents, even if i know they know something i've done. she could just be scared of admitting something to you and facing consequences or disappointing you or she might be ashamed of her actions and try to hide them or make herself feel better by lying.

u fail as a parent then

you sound like ok parents but ur going to have to be much better just because of the 71 iq; my best advise as a 17 year old w/ a sightly higher iq but with some extra wonderful emotional issues; is trust, patience, love, respect, repeat;

also now a days school is worthless besides that stupid piece of paper u get at the end and i would have a hard time justifying putting effort into it and getting emotional scars back, so if their are any problems there id look at the other options.

she may also resent that you sent her to that place(i would, i wouldn't trust u in just 10 weeks, and then wouldn't trust ur judgement ever w/o somehow admitting u were wrong) you may want to ask how she feels about the place and if she (remotely) trusts doctors and fix any issues there

i think it will take a long time , several years for her to begin to come around ... 10 weeks is nothing .... make yourself a list of things never to do over that time .... never lable her has a bad thing for example... even if she is a thief, lier etc , it will not help your fight to tell her .. instead just always be a kind soft sholder ... and you will win the war even if you lost many battles along the way

Try to see it from her poit of veiw. If this is hard to do, you need to understand her more.

I am so sorry to hear that. I definately dont have all the answers as a parent; far from it in fact. One thing I do know is that as soon as you yell and scream at your kids, they go conveniently deaf, and you lose all your power.Good, honest communication is the foundation of any relationship, whether it be with your kids/ parents/ employer or spouse. I hopw things work out well for you and your family.

I totally wish I had parent like you. I try doing everything perfect and my family is ungrateful. They always crave more and yell. Your daughter is sooooo lucky!

Thanks for your input. Yeah, sure thing, they can be a handful. Things have been better this week, thank God. Long may it continue.

Another update: Hannah tested positive for Marijuana, then said the test was inaccurate. We said to her that we would take her to the doctor for a blood test. If the test came back negative, we would sincerely apologise to her, but if it was positive, she would need to pay for the test and the GP fee herself.Her boyfreind also said that if the test was positive, he would need to seriously re-assess his relationship with her. She kept the lies going until I picked up the phone to make an appointment, and then said "Mum,I think we need to talk" . The matter has now been dealt with. She was grounded for a week, and had to fess up to everyone that she had lied to. We are hoping that she has learnt from this. Only time will tell.

It's normal I'm 18 and I always lie it's something I'm really not proud of but it's normal

OLLIEO, are u a parent, more so, one to a teen? If not, then please don't comment on something you may not understand or if you are, showing empathy puts things in perspective. Obviously this parent cares enough to ask for advice and truly wants her daughter to succeed, but not everyone has answers. It's not like we are given a "how to be a parent" handbook and boom, we are sick ass parents..nope, not that simple. As far as intellect goes, there are 2 forms to consider with this teen, book smart and street smart. This girl understands right from wrong, but doesn't comprehend consequence. She'll probably begin gaining more intellect while finding her nitch, something stimulating that encourages her to feel better about herself. Don't give up, this young lady will find her way, you're doing a great job thus far, just keep up the consistency. Your daughter keeps challenging you and she knows this, although it's not directed outward well right now, it shows she has drive, maybe she needs to be more challenged herself; not saying just with school, but she proves she's lacking the spirit that could redirect her angst.

Simba1~ update us pls ??!!

This is a young girl with borderline intelligence - that is, cognitively handicapped, so insight problem solving and learning are real challenges - who has had radical changes in family care, rules & levels of freedom and expectations. The behaviour problems are minor, and labeling her "thief" and "liar" harsh. Ten weeks is nothing. This child is overwhelmed. And I think you need to honestly ask if by turning her world upside down, as you have no matter how liberal and well intentioned, aren't you just setting her up for failure?

She's doing these things to get attention she seem lacked from her prior home...being sheltered has nothing to do with attention, good or bad She probably doesn't know what "love" is, nor tough love, which she needs right now. she's 18 and smoking, alon no mandatory responsiblility to adhere to your rules; however, she IS under your roof giving you leverage on all house rules. This teen needs structure and discipline, but hard to enforce upon someone that's never had it. I wasn't the best teen either, so when I was out of line, they had to keep my boyfriend from coming over, took away my phone, TV...etc. Sometimes the only way to make your rules known, is to get her where it hurts most...remove items she has to earn back...she doesn't improve, take more away. She'll learn more respect for you and even herself when she's given positive reinforcement while following directions and begins hearing how well she's doing....hard to feel good about yourself if no one else does. Wish you luck!

Start taking things away, and making her lose privledges etc, reward honesty, punish lies. Teach her that it's about respect and consideration. Maybe you could try telling her a little white lie that's obvious, one that she knows is a lie, something she will call you on, and then when she keeps asking you about it keep denying it! Then when she's good and pissed, tell her that's exactly how she makes you feel when she lies!!!! It's a hard situation. Good luck :)

I understand that you are trying to be loving and caring parents, and that is a very wonderful thing. But even the nicest of parents have to show some discipline. She has to learn that she can't just rule over everything. I'm not exclaiming that you have to yell and scream at her all the time, but somehow make her realize that she can't have everything. She is living in a different environment now and it may take some adjusting. But just try and don't allow all the changes to be given to her all at once. She will eventually have to buy her own house and lifestyle and she can't always be asking for everything, so sometimes you want to make her work for it - just don't pressure her. Let her make the decisions but add some roadblocks as well.

It sounds like you have given her too much, buying her love maybe.

Instead of making fun with things like the hats, just talk to her. Don't only talk about negative stuff because that's all she'll associate your conversations with and then she'll never talk. Just try to converse with her on a daily basis, or spend time with her.

You have control over her because you have given her everything that she has. You should remind her of this, but not in an angry, mean way, just in a show some respect way. If none of this works, threaten to take stuff from her.

Have you been fir family counseling or considered it? Also, have you tried putting her in your shoes by telling her a small, non-harmful lie to get your point across that it's not nice to be lied to?

Also, what was her previous living arrangement?

Well being eighteen it is legal for her to smoke so if she refuses to give it up I would definitely stop footing the bill! She needs more responsibility!!

Just tell her about how she will grow up a tolerence need more get meth and then have meth face. Show her some of those pictures my son stopped after i told him

I cant believe how you ate just handing her everything she wants she is walking all over you