My dad's an idiot, i can't bring myself to love him as a parent, help!

My dad has good intentions, but he's not a great guy.

I'll start with listing the top four problems in no particular order:

1. His sheer lack of intellect.

My dad is so darn stupid. He makes everything so darn painful. He complicates everything he's involved in. He constantly mixes up his lefts and rights, colors, his children's names, he forgets shit, he struggles to double click fast enough with a computer, etc. I seriously think my 12 year old sister is smarter than him. He's completely tactless, and he's gotten where he is strictly through brute force. My mum says he has dyslexia "undiagnosed", but he's stupid outside of that realm.

2. How immensely lame and boring he is.

I can safely say without exaggeration that I don't know of anyone on earth who is lamer than my dad. I never know what to get him on his birthday, not because he has discriminating taste, but because he doesn't have any strong feelings for anything at all. No films, television shows, books, media, hobbies, anything, just some shit music from his era, nothing else.

He is very, very socially inept and unacceptable - if I talked or behaved the way he did around my friends, they'd tell me to shut the fuck up. He's the annoying type of person who constantly uses "Lovely" and "Wonderful" in conversation, as well as the word "Wee" for urine and urinate. From a casual social standpoint, he is at the rock bottom of the immediate family pecking order.

His weird behavior and social tact lead me to speculate that he has autism. (I've been diagnosed with autism myself so I'd have some degree of credibility in that assumption) He (also) once called my mum autistic in the heat of an argument - it wouldn't be unlike him to make such a childish projection, as I mentioned in my other story (which is about him):http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-that-my-dad-yelled-at-me-in-this-way-132413/

3. His alcoholism.

3, sometimes 4 times a week, he will have alcohol missions - get as drunk as possible all alone, pacing around the place with a thousand yard stare like a scattering junkie, marinating in his burp and fart gas. He often annoys, unnerves and scares his children with this fucking weird behavior - it's less like an alcoholic than it is like a crackhead in super slow motion.

4. His temperament.

He has a short fuse. He can't accept not having his way, and will stop at nothing to get it. He is completely tactless in arguments, and resorts to brute force or violence straight away if possible. Sometimes, when he's particularly drunk on rage, he'll spout out rationalizations on why present problems are other people's (me and my siblings, not his or god's) fault.

The following is OPTIONAL IN READING, just some other annoying habits of his in dot point form.

*He eats like a motherfucking retarded fuckpig, AND he gets angry when you give him shit for this.
*He has a LITTLE BIT of a staring habit.
*His sense of humor is non-existent.
*He has an annoying habit of asking favors and deferring tasks, often they're too petty to be worthy of deffering, or when we're sitting down and he's standing up.
*He's a stress-pot.
*He's a bit of a nazi, he keeps telling me how far to sit from the TV, when to wear shoes, where and when to eat,etc. ("Please just do as I say.")
*He doesn't often brush his teeth twice a day.
*His taste in food is disgusting, it's often either tinned shit, obscure meats or both.
*He's the type to crowd people when he senses he's being rejected.
*He's been smoking since he was 13 and he's 53 now.
*He blows everything out of proportion.
*He lays it on a TEENSY bit thick when expressing gratitude.

Finally, my mum is/does NONE of the above. Not one item. My two siblings also feel the same way I do about him.

HOWEVER, his heart is in the right place. He works like a motherfucking mule sometimes six days a week for us and noone else. He's very dedicated, especially to me, which is why I'm conflicted.

HELP!