My boyfriend won't let me cosplay in guy's clothes. iin?

39% Normal
14 Comments

We were talking about what kinds of costumes to wear in a convention or something and I said I wanted to dress as Red from Pokemon(a male character). He said it was weird and told me about the struggle he's had for years about people thinking he's gay when he's actually straight and me dressing as a guy with him won't help that. He has anxiety issues and can get suicidal, so needless to say it didn't go well. I can't think of any female characters I want to dress as(the ones he names are characters I know nothing about so we couldn't reach a compromise).
I feel kind of sad that I'll never be able to dress up as the character I wanted to dress as. IIN? Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Maybe ways to help him not feel so depressed and suicidal over it?

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 23 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • cocknballs
    8 years ago | pl

    Never? You can as soon as you dump his gay ass for being suicidal over a costume.

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    • Jo_
      8 years ago

      Dude, calm down. She's asking about how to help him, if you don't have good, RESPECTFULL advice just don't comment at all.

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  • (s)aint
    8 years ago

    I think he´s bicurious and deeply ashamed of this.

    And girl, seriously? Why would you even ... allow this?

    Go cosplay with friends, without him and let him be alone with his childishness.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thank you very much.
      I kind of feel like I'm in a box here. He says that relationships are all about compromise and that I should find a female costume we can bot agree on. I can't find one. I kind of feel like I'd be in the wrong and I'd be disregarding his feelings if I went as a guy. I don't know. I feel torn. He also seems to get suicidal over me wanting a dildo. We tried using sex restraints as a compromise, but I lost interest in those and want a dildo again. I can't have that either. Sorry for bothering you.

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      • (s)aint
        8 years ago

        In all the honesty ... None of this sounds good :/

        A relationship is all about compromise, but you should never allow your insecurities to control your you.

        Thing is, you are teaching this guy that he can control you and tell you what to do/what to not do.

        None of this is abnormal, you want a dildo and you want to cosplay.

        It isn´t as if you want to shave your hair off and tattoo half your face.

        "Listen, I love you and I respect you but I want to own a dildo and I want to cosplay"

        Your needs and desires are not weird, if you let him get away with this he might even add more things to boost his lack of confidence.

        Are you allowed to be with friends? talk to people?

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      • Tealights
        8 years ago

        I once had an ex bawl his freaking eyes out over me saying, "I think I want to dye my hair." I wasn't even talking about the permanent dye either. He said that it was too much change.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Why are you allowing him to use his insecurities to control you?

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Good question! giving in is just feeding his insecurities, which are his to deal with

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  • Couman
    8 years ago

    He could dress up as a female character, that way he would still look straight...

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    He's being manipulative and trying to control you! Suicidal or not those demands of his would be a straight up deal breaker for me!

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  • flamer180
    8 years ago

    He apparently wants you to remain feminine. Because he's not gay.

    He might be afraid that he'll turn bi or gay if he sees you in a male costume.

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  • Thorolf
    8 years ago

    Wth, it's just a costume. He shouldn't get to decide that and since you're apparently female won't your face/breasts/overall shape give away the fact that you're not a male?

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  • bozeman59
    8 years ago

    He is an idiot every one cross dresses weather intentionally or by accident

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  • Lovecanher
    8 years ago

    Ask him what he wants u to be then be that for him then maybe ask him to dress as a character it might for fill ur fantasy then u can talk about it he might be more open if he fell that u won't judge him cuz ur putting ur self a situation that u could be embarrassed

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