My boyfriend wants to be in my life as a friend even if we breakup!

68% Normal
19 Comments

My boyfriend and I have a very close relationship. We consider eachother to be eachothes bestfriends. We talk everynight before bed for at least like 3 hours and we never get sick of eachotehr(hes also away at school, so thats why we talk a lot)Anyway, theres been a few times where he mentioned something which brought me to tears...So he told me that if down the road we breakup he still wants to be in my life because he always wants to be my friend. Now as nice as that sounds, I am sorry, but when your in love with someone and you break up, you cant be friends! at least not for awhile. So going on, he told me that if eventually things dont work out that we should stay in eachothers lives because he cant picture his life without me. This whole thing just confuses me. Why is he already planning that we are going to break up if he wants me in his life so bad....I Am in his life!!! Now because I am a girl, I am clearly more emotional so ya know in my little head I never want us to break up and I want to live happily ever after(which normally doesn happen, but a girl can dream) Anyway, Is it normal that boyfriend is bracing himself that one day we may break up, but be in eachothers lives??

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 81 votes (55 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • rockie2014
    12 years ago

    Normal, yes. The person I'm with currently is my bestfriend and we made a promies a long time ago that if we broke up, we'd stay bestfriends simply because we can't imagine being apart. This is normal, we don't know what's going to happen in our lives so we get scared, all people do and he can't help it. He isn't preparing to lose you, he is making himself feel better about the fear of not being with you, which will always be there even though he isn't planning it. This is good, it means you won't ever have to live without him.
    Just make sure he knows you aren't leaving and you want to be with him always, no matter what you are.
    Best of luck!

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    • jac4224
      12 years ago

      aww when you put it that way, it makes me feel so much better....like me and my boyfriend made promisses that we would always be bestfriends due to the fact that we want to be in eachothers lives...thanks =) and good luck with your relationship too !!!

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  • Boredbastard
    12 years ago

    of course it's normal.

    i wouldn't want to lose a good friend even if i was in a relationship with her.

    why wouldn't you want to be friends?
    just forget about him and never see again?
    pssh..

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  • LOUi_CUDi
    12 years ago

    i hate it when girls dont want to be friends after a relationship. Like y not..

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    • DrinaVonCheez
      12 years ago

      Because saying "we can still be friends" is like your dog dying & your mom telling you that you can still keep it.

      Like, that was your greatest companion..yeah its still there, but it won't ever be the same. Keeping it around will just make you more sad because it won't come back :(

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  • BurnaTwist
    12 years ago

    im a man and ive told my wife this same thing, i dont ever wanna lose her as my wife, but if something happened and we ended up fallin apart i would hate to lose her as a friend too, good friends are very hard to come by and she is my best friend, i never considered leavin her nor will i ever, im not "planning" on leavin her ever, so feelin insecure is normal, but him sayin that means that he loves you a lot, and if the worst should happen he doesnt wanna lose you forever

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  • deanm
    12 years ago

    I think it is somewhat normal to THINK about this kind of thing, but I don't think I would say it out loud to my girlfriend. It kind of sends a confusing message. It's one of those things that you "cross that bridge if/when you come to it". That's my opinion.

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  • panvicka
    12 years ago

    Well he is planing it, but the reality will be probably different. It is really hard to be around a person who used to love you. I think he will find it out once you break up (if you do).

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  • POM
    12 years ago

    From the sound of it, he wants to be able to fuck with you after you two break up

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    • jac4224
      12 years ago

      i mean thats ok hahaha

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    This is very strange!

    I have never had a conversation like that in my life with a bf. Anyway, you are right, you can't be friends for a while. He's in dream land, wanting his cake and eat it.

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    • jac4224
      12 years ago

      right? like wtf!! shouldnt he just live in the moment with me and just be happy( i mean he is very happy) idk maybe hes scared of losing me

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      • joybird
        12 years ago

        Yes, he should live in the moment and cross that bridge if / when he ever comes to it. Be happy while you can.

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  • jac4224
    12 years ago

    ..its a good thing my boyfriend doesnt look at these comments hahaha

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  • rogue
    12 years ago

    hes sleeping with someone..and itll get you more mad or sad if its a girl than it will if its a guy..jk
    umm dont talk to him hes being a puss hahhhaha seriously hes acting like a little bitch..
    u no what
    be his friend..ONLY HIS FRIEND n if he crossses the friend line be dry n reject it! REJECT THE FUCK OUT OF IT cuz u guys r friends
    let him realize what he missed out on..n move on seriously i hope u find someone who appreciates you for who u r and i hope u wont find someone who wont take your emotions for granted

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  • supaflyafro
    12 years ago

    he's saying just in case for some reason you two do. he doesn't want to break up with you but if you dump him then he wants to be friends still. he's asking you out of fear that one day you will dump him and he's scared

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  • littlelulu1999
    12 years ago

    he could be putting this out there because he is planning on breaking up with you....men are either into you or they are not into you...a man that is into you will not entertain conversation of breaking up with you or being friends....he will never discuss this....he's either with you 100% or he's breaking up with you (and setting up the seeds of a breakup by talking about it) ....also prematurely agreeing to be friends if you break up is not being realistic....if perhaps at the time of the breakup it was on mutual terms with nothing negative (say you grow apart, simply have different priorities) then it is possible to be friends but only after a period where you are really broken up and doing your own thing (because most people know that a lot of people try getting back together and screwing around when they are still in constant contact with their ex after the breakup)....on the flip side it is not possible to be friends if your ex screwed you over/cheated on you, physically/mentally/financially screwed you over---people like this are never your 'friends' no matter how much they try to be to appease their guilty consciences for treating you like crap by telling the world 'you are still friends', and these are the people you cease all contact with....I'm sure you didn't want to hear all this, but women need to hear the truth every now and then no matter how young or old you are....

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  • NothingxCrazy
    12 years ago

    It's always good to be prepared..?

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  • SoccerStud88
    12 years ago

    needy wuss of a bf

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