My boyfriend turns me off

I love my man dearly. He is everything I could have ever wanted in a man (ok so he has his quirks but who doesnt??). I love spending time with him and doing simple things like cuddle on the couch or even just make dinner together. Thing is... he came into my life about a year after me and the man who (I believe) was my soul mate and now.... I just cant have sex with him. For some reason, my man just doesn't turn me on at all. His touches dont start the engine. But the ex, we still have amazing sexual chemistry (I never said I was perfect). When he touches me the world disappears. Is this normal??

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 340 votes (176 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • Just curious:
    1) about memory. One can over blow the good and minimize or even forget the bad. Its why, in part, abused go back to abusers. Do you think you are inflating the good sex and negating the bad relationship? Why is he "the ex?" How great was the relationship that failed? This doesn't add up to me.
    2) about cheating. You are cheating someone you say you love & who is decent to you out of a sex life. You are cheating at least emotionally with an ex-partner. And implicitly you suggest you have no responsibility because of...
    3) chemistry. Which usually refers to a lot of subtle & nuanced things that make things work. But you use it as a blanket excuse and cover for what is really just your bad behaviour.

    What bad behaviour? You have castrated the guy you say you care about & who treats you well. You have elevated some guy you can't have a relationship with to the level of some sexual god. And you take no responsibility for your hurtful game playing.

    You really need to take some responsibility for your own feelings and relationship and straighten out your head, in my opinion. Not just blame "chemistry."

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  • Racoon

    Why people that can't make good, clear minded decisions and stick with always hurt the others ?

    The new one deserves better than you, let him go find someone that will love HIM with all her heart.

    And please fix your god-damn issues and if you need a closure with your ex than fucking do it before jumping in a new relationship and hurting someone that doesn't deserve it.

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  • KurosuYuuki

    That's totally normal.
    You desire your ex, while you love your boyfriend.

    One is all about sex, and the other is about spending time together.

    But you'll have to choose the one you want, or it'll be too late and you'll have neither.

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    • cucui

      thats about it right there

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  • Normal.
    lol he is your friend, and not your "boyfriend"
    You have some deep wounds from last boyfriend.
    Love hurts...

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  • Evralette

    why dont you just work things over with your ex if hes your supposable "soul mate" because obviously you cant stay loyal to your new one..

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  • Galaxy500

    I know the story - my ex is/was my soulmate, bestfriend, equal, confidant, and sex was good and my new bf is meets all my wants and weaknesses i.e. has great looks,great sex, and a wild side - but the communication isn't the most ideal..to say the least.

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  • alyssalynne143

    i completely can relate to you. I feel the exact same way and its been about the same length of time as you and your man. I feel like the guy im with now can provide for me and keep me safe and gives me a sense of security, he will never leave my side and the ex gave me the most fun and better sexual experience, totally attracted to him and i just couldnt trust him though the way i trust the guy im with now. You just have to follow your heart with who u want to be with. its a risk and im not sure if i want to take it.

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    • alexbsc

      Women need 2 men - a safe one that provides security, provides for you, provides for you, is your best (girl) friend etc.
      However, excitement, adventure, sexual chemistry is also what women crave to make up for the dullness of the 'expected'.. which comes with the danger of insecurity and infidelity (in the mind of the woman).

      Just my 2c as a guy... who tries to be all of the above. ;)

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      • Mersaphe

        Well said guy!!!

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  • Orhlixyone

    The whole thing is psychological. It can be fixed. Talk to a psychiatrist/therapist.

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  • Coaster

    this is your "MAN". and you aint quite all that either biatch. WE'RE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Anonysmous

    Your what we men call a "Tease".

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  • megadriver

    His touch doesn't start your engine? Well, that means you are a Ford! You need to be replaced with a better vehicle :D

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  • Johnnytherat

    cheating is only cheating if your caught best of both worlds is the way 2 go ^_-

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  • look at all these misogynistic people above me who don't understand the female psyche :) They'll be horrible men to their girlfriends, you can tell. I bet they all have a bad relationship with their mother. :P

    Learn tolerance and understanding people.

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  • Terence_the_viking

    the grass is always greener on the other side. your neighbour has a new car that you want to drive etc

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  • randomjelly

    Whore

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  • Yeah this isn't normal. Your not turned on by you BF who you supposedly love because you ARE turned on by being a whore with your ex. Your a bad person, and I hope he finds someone who appreciates him for EVERYTHING he is.

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  • party_in_my_pants666

    Sounds like my ex....SLUT

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  • POM

    whore

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  • 3styler

    no your a slag

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