My boyfriend shared me with his friend when i was drunk

45% Normal

I'm 22 and my boyfriend is quite a lot older than me, he's 38. I had been out at a nightclub celebrating my birthday. Everyone had bought me drinks so I was quite drunk when I got home. Me and my boyfriend have been living together for about 2 months and when I got home, his friend was there, they'd been watching football with a couple of beers,
Then, after another drink with his friend, me and my boyfriend went to bed and I thought his friend had gone home but while we were in bed making love, I felt his friend get in behind me so I was between them and one thing led to another and I ended up having sex with both of them.
I feel used and hate my boyfriend for letting his friend have sex with me. I was reluctant at the time but I had been drinking a lot and I suppose that made me more turned on and unable to resist and anyway his friend was really forceful. I love my boyfriend so much, should I forgive him?

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45% Normal

Based on 22 votes (10 yes)

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Comments ( 52 )

ChrissySnow

6 years ago

If I could go back and forgive my Ex, instead of dumping him for that, I would

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maryjane123

6 years ago

Honey, please ignore these dumb ass people smdh ive never been more shocked by comments on this site

It isn't a blurred line, the idea that "the best sex happens when the girl has little say" is only valid if the girl WANTS to have little say. And to the people telling you that you should let your boyfriend and his friends or whoever the hell he wants to fuck you, I really hope you never have any traumatic sexual experiences or are forced into anything because I promise you if you do youre going to feel like the biggest cunts going, get a grip

Also if you wrote something like that or you're reading this and you've said something like that to someone before, please imagine that your mother or sister or daughter was telling you this story and reevaluate. And remember, the fact you dont respect a woman until you think of her as someones daughter or sister or wife or mother is a joke. Again, get a grip

The facts are you were drinking with your boyfriend that you trust and you trusted him to take you home safely and he then let his friend force himself on you. Your boyfriend disrespected you.

Now, whether or not what happened was rape depends on how it went down, I wasnt there I don't know. And obviously keep in mind that once you say something like that you can't take it back, but if they got you drunk and ignored you resisting it sorta sounds like that is what it was.

Take some time to really think it over and remember everything that happened! If you realize that what happened wasnt right but you're uncomfortable with talking to authorities or telling the whole world about it then you still need to end it with your boyfriend. He allowed it to happen, knowing you were drunk and you couldn't consent to it!

I'm sorry this happened to you amd I hope you get things sorted and you find peace! My thoughts are with you, stay safe and look after yourself!

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- Jimbo24
  
  6 years ago
  
  I wouldn't mind my mother being roughed up like that because my mother WAS often roughed up by my father and she's been with him for 28 years, still happier than ever. He often disciplined her when she messed up, called that "domestic discipline", mostly spanking but also other things.
  
  All women get off on being dominated by their men. There's nothing less sexy than asking for consent like a pussy and let her decide. The most miserable women I see are those who have a meek niceguy-type for a bf/husband, and they end up either cheating on him with some bad boy or divorce-raping him in court out of atrocious boredom.
  
  Your cliched "I hope you find peace sweetheart" pity lines are directed to a girl who's been discussing her next gangbang with me for the last 24 hours, so she's obviously enjoying it, just check our above conversation. The other woman commenter here says she regrets dumping her ex for banging her with his buddy. The only traumatized person in this room is you.
  
  Get off the PC train, it's fake. That's just bullshit you say for polite society consumption because that's what polite society wants to hear, but we all it's all bullshit and pretend we don't. In the real world women are aroused by being made to, not being asked.
  
  EDIT: The girl will always have a say, in the sense that she may leave the relationship and go for a more egalitarian-minded guy or call the cops. No matter how much of a badass the guy is, he can't stand up to an entire police corps and justice system if she ever decides to rat him out. And he knows that.
  
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  - maryjane123
    
    6 years ago
    
    Yes, like 99% of girls enjoy to be fucked but if you also check her earlier comments she said she tried to stop him amd he didn't stop. She wasnt on here to start a chat with guys about all the different ways she wants to be fucked, she was uncomfortable with something that happened and wanted to have that feeling validated and all she got was a load of guys saying "let your man do what he wants to you" or "I hope you let yourself become the woman your man wants" which is bullshit. She said she felt like she was raped, so I approached the situation as though that was the case because moynody else had.
    
    There is a difference between dominance that is desired by both/all people involved and just being forced. I dont care right now about all the women who love dominance, I already know about it bevause I'm a sub. But she didn't have that, she had a guy force her when she was drunk. I'm not saying anymore about that because having to explain this to an adult is ridiculous.
    
    And I'm not some sort or feminazi or whatever the fuck people call them, I don't go crazy about that shit but all the comments on here were a joke. Every time she said I tried to resist etc nobody had her corner, amd I know what its like to have that to I thought fuck it girl power and backed her up. No I won't apologize for that, no its not fake to be PC (even tho I'm not really so it makes no difference to me), and no thats not a in the real world thing. There are some women that like that (like me) and some that dont.
    
    Gonna say it again so you maybe fucking understand - the fact she is discussing a gang bang with you doesn't mean she still isnt upset about being forced, or that she isn't worried about seeing him, or maybe untrusting of her boyfriend now, or maybe all of the above.
    
    And to your edit- maybe so in some cases, but we've seen a lot of rapoata walk free bc of minor details. There was a guy recently that got out of a rape charge because the judge agreed she looked over 16, like it's okay to rape a woman just not a girl (even though she was herself 14 if I remember correctly). so not necessarily.
    
    Please dont reply again because with have no interested I'm hearing anything else from you tbh
    
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    - Jimbo24
      
      6 years ago
      
      "99% of girls enjoy to be fucked"
      
      Not just fucked, but being made to fuck.
      
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      "if you also check her earlier comments she said she tried to stop him amd he didn't stop."
      
      Yes that's exactly what's hot about it!
      
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      By the way I see you conveniently glossed over the part where I said the man should only be given all decision power when he proves himself capable of handling things, and mentioned the traits he should have.
      
      The BDSM scene is fake. It's all acting. It doesn't feel real. You say you're a sub (which is just the natural sexual inclination for your average woman) and here you are pretending to be horrified because some girl enjoyed rough sex, as if you didn't know that's the best sex there is.
      
      The whole BDSM scene became popular when relationships became more egalitarian, when women are being given more choice, when so much emphasis became placed on consent. That's all great, except for one detail: women weren't bred to get off on consent and egalitarianism. Everything they find sexy in a man is a suggestion that he might overpower them or make them lose control. So they make up for it by recreating and acting the whole thing out in artificial scenes and toys, so that they can finally feel that they're being used against their will and having no control, which is what they truly crave.
      
      I've seen so many women like you. Bitching about male dominance, inconsiderateness, and authority in the day, and then masturbating to those very thoughts of male dominance, inconsiderateness, and authority at night. Just check the erotic novels women get off on -- very few of them have "consent"; it's all blackmail, coercion, abductions, forced imprisonment, and not being left a choice. Can't you see the disconnect?!
      
      That's right keep it up ladies, with the whole "yes means yes" campaigns and the 'male gaze' nonsense, keep it up until you paralyze men altogether from making a move on you because let's be honest, as enjoyable as it is, no roll in the hay is worth 2 years in the big house. Keep bitching about every single thing that makes you wet, pretend you hate it. Your career, consent-demanding ass will end up miserable.
      
      It may be high time you made peace with your nature, ladies! Embrace it and you'll finally be free.
      
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      - Mike444
        
        6 years ago
        
        I love this guy (not literally of course). great rant. Nice one mate.
        
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        Jimbo24
        
        6 years ago
        
        Thanks man!
        
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ccc22

6 years ago

Look, it was amazing to have two men fucking me but at the end of the day I was used and forced to do something that I was obviously uncomfortable with. I need to think about how his friends will see me now because the other guy WILL tell all of my husbands friends, he's a bastard like that, always bragging about women he's fucked.

I think what you're saying is maybe I'd like to do it again in the future, maybe I would, but the trust is the issue here, not how good the sex was.

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- Jimbo24
  
  6 years ago
  
  Tell your guy you'd be more willing to go for it if it won't be involving your mutual acquaintances anymore.
  
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  - ccc22
    
    6 years ago
    
    Maybe...sure.
    
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    - Jimbo24
      
      6 years ago
      
      It's better that way. I've had these thoughts before, and if I were to ever sandwich my girl between me and another man it'd be a guy from outside our circles.
      
      Also don't get too hung up on the 'used/forced' thing. The hottest sex usually occurs when the girl has had little say in the matter, which is why I say it's better to delegate those decisions to your guy (if you see he's decisive, can plan ahead, and take charge, that is).
      
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      - ccc22
        
        6 years ago
        
        You mean let him pick the guy. I suppose so. i really want to stay with him so I would be willing to do what he wanted,as long as he protected me.
        
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        Jimbo24
        
        6 years ago
        
        I mean let him decide who you can and can't fuck (be it him only or the whole football team). But yes, before you give up all decison-making to him, you first have to make sure he's able to protect you. And "protecting you" involves more than strong physique and ability/willingness to fist-fight because 99% of the cases it won't get to that. It's more about how capable he is in general. Meaning:
        
        - Does he have a car in which he can take you whenever and wherever he wanted, and get you away from places in cases of emergency?
        
        - Does he make good money?
        
        - Does he carry a gun? Is he a good shot?
        
        - Is he connected? Does he know people who might help him out in certain circusmtances, get him in or out of places?
        
        - Is he socially smart? Does he know how to get people on his side if it hits the fan?
        
        - Can he plan ahead, do his homework, and manage logistics? This one is probably the most important. Meaning, if he's going to get guys for you, is he the type to vet them, make sure they don't have STDs for example? If he takes you somewhere, does he do research about that place, who hangs in it, how much it costs, how to get to it, what you can do in it once there, etc? Is he one to have plan-Bs? You get picture.
        
        All of the above is what "protection" means. There are also other things you should assess:
        
        - Can he lay down rules, and more importantly, enforce them? (through punishments, incentives, and so on)
        
        - Can he make decisions? Does he rapidly cave in when you say no or are hesitant or does he make you do it anyway?
        
        - Can he handle logistics and preparation without involving and boring you with the details?
        
        - Is he predictable or does he make you do unexpected things, get you to unexpected places, like preparing a seemingly random gangbang meetup in the park at 9pm, or lift your skirt in public out of the blue?
        
        In short, can he take care of shit without being a bore?
        
        Now I don't want you to give the answer to each of those to me. But if you're hand over all decision power to you man, you need to assess those traits in him first. The highest he scores in them the more you can submit to them and hand him authority in the relationship. If he scores high, give almost all decision power; if he score average in them, give him some while drawing lines in the sand (eg: he decides who you fuck but you always add some conditions too (like no mutual friends, etc.))
        
        Right now I make all decisions for my girlfriend: what she wears (I pick her clothes), most of what she can eat, what she can watch, read, when she can go out, with whom, I take her out every once in a while whenever I want wherever I want, I give her allowance money every week, I punish her when she misbehaves, disobeys, or doesn't do her tasks, and I fuck her whenever and however I want, I just grab her and have my way with her and I could pimp her out and have her fucked by whoever I want. She depends on me for a lot of stuff. I take care of business while she just worries about superficial stuff, take care of my house, my cock, and look bangable to me. I like it. She likes it. Everyone's happy.
        
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      - maryjane123
        
        6 years ago
        
        ***that only counts if the girl enjoys having little say in the matter
        
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[Old Memory]

6 years ago

Happens all the time, guys love showing off their g/f and love the thought of having her and seeing her being used by another guy. The fact you were drunk made it the right place at the right time for him and as you say you were u able to resist. You are just going to have to get over it, no doubt he will want more of the mfm and will try it again in the future with you. It has happened and you can't change that, if you are not happy with his fantasy them dump him now, if you love him so much then talk to him and tell him it was a one off and not to let it happen again. You could find the next time you enjoyed it so you have a number of big choices to make. It's a male thing seeing thier g/f or wife being used by another guy.

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dicka912

6 years ago

Life goes on. Forgive your bf and enjoy the great relationship you have with him. Many men love to watch their gf's or wives having sex with other men. I know 3 other women who have sex with other guys while their husbands watch. All of the women enjoy the variety. This could work out for you as well.

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- ccc22
  
  6 years ago
  
  Oh I hope so. But facing him friend will be difficult. He really was forceful at first and then later I gave in easier and right now, to be honest, I feel like I've been raped.
  
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  - dicka912
    
    6 years ago
    
    Sorry you are feeling that way. Sex should be enjoyable by all. Having more than one sex partner at one time can be a fun and exciting time if you are open to it. I know a few women who really like having other men in their lives. They find that many of the other men are better lovers than their bf's.
    
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  - justlooking1976
    
    6 years ago
    
    You can't be raped if you don't resist, so you kind of raped yourself by resisting at all. Thankfully, you still got fucked and I bet you enjoyed it. Stop resisting! Fuck freely!
    
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    - ccc22
      
      6 years ago
      
      i DID resist, he was behind me and pinned my shoulder down as soon as I felt him there and resisted. My boyfriend was in front of me so I couldn't move away.
      I asked him to stop but my boyfriend said it was okay and his friend just used his strength to lift my bum up and take me from behind
      I think my boyfriend's friend is an asshole and he knows I feel that way, so I think that's why he was so forceful and why he did it so hard to me and that's why I said it "felt" like I was being raped.
      I admit that I was turned on from the start by being forced but that didn't amount to agreeing to letting him fuck me.
      
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      - justlooking1976
        
        6 years ago
        
        Re-read what I posted. You should have agreed from the start but hate fucking can be powerful too which is what sounds like happened. Your boyfriend obviously wanted it to happen so unless you break up with him it will happen again and a lot more often now that it has already happened once. Hopefully you'll agree to be the girlfriend that your boyfriend wants you to be.
        
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- maryjane123
  
  6 years ago
  
  Threesomes should definitely happen all the time- I dont know a girl who doesnt love the idea of two guys filling Her. But this was forced and she was drunk and tried to say no. Life goes on for you, not for someone who has ever been violated in any way. Think about how you approach posts like this on this site, you come across as insensitive and rude
  
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  - dicka912
    
    6 years ago
    
    I didn't mean to be rude or insensitive. I was trying to make a point that stuff like this happens and it is not the end of the world. Look at all that is going on like beheadings. I know this woman who had sex with her father from the age of 13 to 21. She first said she didn't want to but by the time she was 15, she could not get enough of him. Have a wonderful day.
    
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justlooking1976

6 years ago

Drink more often and become his personal whore! Neither of you will ever regret it.

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Nickvey

6 years ago

Typical for two men having sex with one another to share a woman. my friend shared his wife and i shared my girlfriend with him. when the ladies are not around we are gay men.

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Nutmegf

6 years ago

If it was a one time thing, It is forgivable. You got some enjoyment out of it, and are ok now. If you tell him you never want it to happen again and it does, call the police!

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Tinyprince

6 years ago

You were all drunk. You have no right to blame anyone for your own mistake.

That said, sit down with your boyfriend and have a serious talk about what happened.

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Jimbo24

6 years ago

If you're with him and he takes care of you (like, provides for you, takes care of business), then your body is his, which means he can make you fuck whoever he wants. If that's himself only, then so be it; if he wants you fucked by him and three other guys because that's what pleasures him, then oblige too. He just has to know what he wants and be decisive about it.

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Are You Normal?

My boyfriend shared me with his friend when i was drunk