My boyfriend says he loves me but is not in love with me

I have been dating my boyfriend for four months. In that time he has shared very intimate details of his life with me. I have also shared very deep details of my life with him. He recently told me that although he loves me, he is not in love with me. He says that he feels the love growing for me. I am confused because I have always believed that in order to love someone you must first "fall in love". I think this is kind of backwards. I am not certain that I believe he even "loves" me at this point. He uses his chaotic life as an excuse for not getting closer. I don't know what to do.