My boyfriend: iin?

54% Normal
19 Comments

Ok, so here's some background info for my question; me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months. Im 22, he's 25. We met and started "dating" when I was 14, so we have known each other almost 9 years. He was basically my first love. He broke my heart as teenagers but soon after, I began dating this 21 year old when I was 16. We were together 6 years off and on and jus broke up last summer after I discovered he was cheating. Meanwhile, during all these years, my 1st love would pop into the picture randomly and declare his love for me, begging me to take him back. I was with my new bf and happy so naturally I always turned him down.

Well jus recently the 1st love came into the picture again and this time, me being single and lonely, agreed to give him another chance. Im starting to wonder if I made a mistake. In theory, he's the perfect bf, he's sweet, attentive, very affectionate, tells me he loves me everyday, holds and cuddles me after sex, never disrespectful, always asks how my mom is doing (everything my bf of 6 years didnt do). The problem is, he currently isnt working, his license is suspended, we never go out because he's broke and he has enemies that literally are trying to kill him. I know most ppl would say "Are you insane? leave him!" but it's jus not that simple. He's a really sensitive guy and when I tried to break things off a couple months ago (he was textin other girls behind my back) he cried like a baby (tears and all) and begged me to forgive him. He hasnt done anything sneaky since (that I know of) but I still can't trust him because of this. His father died when he was a teen, his mom is sick with cancer, and his best friend was killed last year over some girl. He is pretty much alone & I feel like I have to be there for him. I tell him I love him too and we talk about a future but the minute he does something to piss me off I talk about breaking up. Im confused. Is it normal to feel like u have to stay with someone and is it normal to waiver back n forth between love and disdain for a person? I feel bipolar, idk if these are valid feelings or if im just weird and need help.

No mean/rude statements about my bf please, he's had a difficult life and made bad choices like everyone.

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 24 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • MarianasTrench4
    10 years ago

    As long as you are happy and he doesnt kill someone, you shall be fine. :)

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  • plainsight90
    12 years ago

    You sound like a nice person. You should break it off and get away from that situation IMHO.

    Gotta do what's best for yourself.

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  • Treez
    12 years ago

    Jesus drowns

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  • Chayce
    12 years ago

    Bottom line, do you love him or not?
    If Y, go for it
    If N, break it off

    The fact that you defended him in your post means you do not hate him. Start from there.

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  • maya617
    12 years ago

    Maybe u too are too young and aren't really ready for a mature relationship with each other or anyone else.

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  • mumbum
    12 years ago

    You are much smarter than he is!!! Love alone is sometimes not enough... You do have to have compatible lives, and values. There are a zillion guys out there that will hold you, and love you, and be oh so tender! Be brave and take control of your life!

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    • inMyheartThereIsPain
      12 years ago

      Ur absolutely right. When it comes to this situation I always tell myself love is not enough. I jus can't being myself to leave. I dont want him to feel abandoned by someone he loves :( damn I wish I didnt have a heart!

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  • Solophonic
    12 years ago

    Some people are left alone due to their decisions in life. You need to focus on you first. There are plenty of sweet, affectionate, and cuddly guys out there and you'll probably find him when you least expect it. If it has failed in the past it did so for a reason whether or not you are aware of that reason, it will wind up repeating itself. Doing the same thing multiple times and expecting a different result is not healthy.

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    • inMyheartThereIsPain
      12 years ago

      I understand what youre saying and I agree about history repeating itself and this is another reason why I turned him down so much when he kept begging me for another chance over the years. But I thought it was unfair of me to penalize him for something he did when we were teens, ya kno? I wanted to believe he's grown up and changed....

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  • lilith.88
    13 years ago

    tl;dr

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    • inMyheartThereIsPain
      12 years ago

      ...what?

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  • georgienne
    13 years ago

    I really don't like the sound of this new guy.. Maybe it's the lack of detail, but he sounds sketchy and manipulative.. Especially since he's been nagging you to date him all these years..
    The old guy was apparently awful, because you say he didn't do any of these wondrous traits, yet you were together for six years...were you just together for the sake of it, or are you just not telling us his good traits so we pick the new guy?
    Based on what I know, neither seems great, but id stick with the old guy.

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    • inMyheartThereIsPain
      13 years ago

      To answer ur questions, the ex of 6 years wasnt bad for the first 4 years. Naturally it was hard to leave him because we had been together so long and I was young, he crapped on my self esteem and made me feel like no one would want me but him.

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    • inMyheartThereIsPain
      13 years ago

      Maybe I should never mentioned the ex boyfriend. Because apparently it's making some of u think i am trying to decide between the two of them. The ex is long gone ppl, I'm not asking who I should choose.

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  • jensapa
    13 years ago

    It's reckon it's normal to feel guilty about breaking up with him. Tell him he needs to sort himself out before he can really commit to a relationship. Tell him u will be a supportive friend but want to cool it quits for now.

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    • inMyheartThereIsPain
      13 years ago

      I thought about doin that and I even tried it but he cried

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  • jako
    13 years ago

    U know the answer already. Whether u like it or not that is what eventually will happen.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    -sigh- another "who should I go out with" story. Listen if you need the help from people online that you dont know to help you pick a guy then you are not very bright. Its your choice not ours make it yourself because I am sure alot on here would pick the first guy and the others would pick the second guy and they would say who "They would pick" but how does that at all give you your answer?

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    • inMyheartThereIsPain
      13 years ago

      Wow ok. Obviously you didn't read the entire story because I definitely did not ask who I should pick. I made it very clear that I'm only with one person and I summed up at the end of the story what my actual question is. And you say I'm not very bright. How ironic. Thanks for nothing :)

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