My boyfriend has pratically zero sex drive

I think it is less about how often you have sex and more about the hurt you must feel to be rejected and humiliated like that.

Your husband is acting like a real jerk and you should not put up with it. Read the riot act. Tell him he must go for marital counseling. If he doesn't, start yourself.

There could be a lot going on for him to explain his declining libido, medically perhaps. Or what have you.

But you must let him know that this selfish indifference towards you is unacceptable. Stand up for yourself.

2 things I see a problem with: you say he likes to talk about sexual things on a messenger; please do not tell me this man talks about sex to other women while you let it go on, honestly, the way I see it, he shouldn't be looking at porn either. It's totally disrespectful. My husband doesn't do it because I told him if he wants to look at it he can just go find someone else to go have sex with while he's at it. Don't let yourself get that low and let him think he's got that kind of power over you to do those things in front of your face, girl!
The other thing is addressed to ratz: there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with 2 parents having sex once a week, twice a week, hell, even every night of the week. Sex can be good for a couple's relationship so if you were raised to think that a mother and father shouldn't have sex, then there's a problem. Since you're here, obviously they were! :)

Firstly, he is being an ass about it. If you genuinly believe him when he says he does love you and find you attractive, he probably isn't lying.
It may just be one of those things where he wants what he can't have, and because he has you, totally and fully it's not that much of a turn on when he gets it so easily.
I must admit when a girl throws themself at me, for me, it's "too easy" and I don't want to sound like a bad guy here, but it's nice to have to work for it, but that might just be me.

I'm quite tired and what I've wrote might make no sense, but just try this before you do anything as rash as marriage counselling, because that might fuck things up further, just try not offering yourself to him, don't give him it easy, if he goes in for a quick feel make sure to not let him, when he wants sex, tell him you're on your period or you aren't in the mood, make him want it and make him work for it, believe me, if he is anything like me, that will work alot better than throwing yourself at him.

Hope that helps, also hope it makes semi-sense, if you need to talk further on the issuse, feel free to contact me.

Okay, Cheerio and good luck. Xx

Well altough i don't like 2 say it...
Its normal.
Its like an old habbit, and not anymore exciting thing 2 do. Ask him what he wants.Does he have some fantasy that you could maybe please him?
Its just, we all get sick of each other after a while, so just take it easy.

This is so fucking sad. Don't let this affect your perceptions of yourself; you're a sexy, strong wife and mother and you're trying you're damnedest despite having your ego torn to shreds.

I'm young and not married but my boyfriend went trough that ''don'T wanna fuck'' phase and at first I tought he was cheating and at some point I couldn'T take it anymore (thinking he was cheating on me) and I had a sit down talk with him.....

Turns out he had problems at school and couldn't keep up with the others in his class at university and was afraid of failing. We talked about it and we connected on a deeper level , I told him a story of my own school problems and showed him I could relate..and he showed me his ''weaker'' emotional side and it relieved him and took off alot of pressure from his shoulder.

We had a long night of soft, amorous sex that night. We could not have enough , he was all over me !

Maybe there's something going on in his life that bothers him or he could think HE is not attrative enough or something like this?

Or just try to make him a little jealous.. start making yourself pretty and going to clubs with your friends. Without going to the point of ignoring him ( only gonna make it worst) show him that you can still have fun without him and that you are still young!

You could try to do new non-sexual thing as a couple and it could make your emotional bound stronger and get him ''interested'' back in you.

ps; sorry for my english , it's not my mother language!

he is definately getting it elsewhere. next time he comes home late smell is cock you'll know its been in pussy if it has a soury off smell and also check his phone. trust me im a dude.

that sucks, I'm sorry.

have your boyfriend have a psa level test to see how high or how low his testosterone levels are

I'm a sex counsellor and give one on one therapy. Try me...lol

I can tell you from experience that your husband is still interested in sex. Just not with you. Remember, men are wired to want variety, so it's possible that he's simply bored. More likely, though, is that there's something wrong in your relationship. Have you become like roommates instead of a loving couple? Has your attention been diverted from him to your young children? Has your body changed drastically since having kids? Any or all of these could make him lack desire for you. The best thing to do is to get counseling. If you leave this as it is, it could get worse.

No offense intended at all, maybe you are being too stressed and that reflects in your general attitude. Perhaps you are being too active and taking the initiative too much, and perhaps your husband's personality dislikes confrontation and pushing and now likes sex more peaceful and soft. It is a good idea to see what is what he prefers in matter of porn. Then, excuse me, but try to see sex more related to feelings and not only as sex. I dont know the conditions of you and your husband, but in these times most persons are stressed and worried and depressed, and depression is a serious turn-off. As a matter of fact, slowing of sexual drive is a classic symptom of clinical depression. Maybe if you can overcome your understandable upset about the situation and are able to communicate more and with more good feelings, better sexual practice could come from tenderness, love and a feeling of unity and solidarity among the couple you are.

Your boyfriend has a libido. He%%u2019s into porn sites and chats. So the problem is not there. Some men, after having witnessed their wife give birth, lose all kind of desire for her because they only see her as a mother. This could be resolve with couple%%u2019s therapy.

Sex is an integral part of a relationship and you have every right to be worried and frustrated. Especially since your had a good sex life before. Of course, with time, it's normal to have sex less often, but twice a month is clearly not enough for you and you should do something about it. I really don't think your boyfriend's behaviour is normal.

I think he is shitting on you!!! that bastard you should have sex with me for revenge. I do tantra so you will be completely satisfied

Your husband is a porn addict, and if he loves it over you, you should be reconsidering whether you stay with him, or go see a couples counselor.

#pornaddiction

OMG I thought I was alone! I'm going thru the Exact same thing! Word for word except no kids. Did you get any advice?

Totally have been there. Just dear god, don't marry the kid. You WILL be miserable =( best of luck, dear.

He might be addicted to porn and this can seriously affect a relationship. Is he on the computer late every night? He might need help with this.

Stop posting long ass comments I don't wanna read five paragraphs -.-

is your body relatively decent?

i wouldn't want to do it with my man if he got too fat or out of shape. mind you, he is chubby.

i'm just asking.

I'm young and have a high drive, so i can't offer much advice on the subject. But i think you need to talk to some married friends of yours. It seems to be a married thing, even just living with the spouse for a long period of time seems to do it to you. I've heard that it becomes like living with your sister, or brother. And then the sex drive just dissipates with that thought/feeling. You need to explain to him why sex is so important in a relationship, and that it has hardly anything to do with getting an orgasm at the end of it. Sex means so much more in keeping a relationship's love alive. He doesn't realize that.

If you have 2 kids, don't you think that there would be something wrong with haveing sex weekly? I don't mean to offend you, maybe its the way I was raised.

"Show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a man who's tired of fu**ing her."

What's going on in the porn he likes? Maybe black corsets don't do it and you need to figure out a way to spice things up. Have you tried bringing home a girlfriend?